Subject:  Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help |
Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 02/23/09 12:45am
In reply to:
Su
's message, "Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help" on 02/22/09 11:41am
Su,
IT's funny, but a there are times in my daughter's life when she has wanted so badly to be independent on her own that she has rushed into things only to make herself more dependent than ever. If you know this will affect you in such a way, could this not be the case in your situation?
It's quite obvious this is not what you want, and you do have a choice. You can be stronger, you just have to do it. Instead of an appointment for an abortion why not make an appointment for an agency that will help you plan for your children? Tell them your concerns and ask them if they CAN plan to help you leave your mom's in the near future with two children. The nice thing about pregnancy lasting nine months is that you do have time to plan ahead.
To be honest, I never noticed that having one more child made a huge difference for us financially until a bit down the road. If you can leave with one, you can probably leave with two. Just becuase you have an appointment for an abortion does not mean you are obligated to go. Even if you actually went, it does not mean you are obligated to go through with it. You DO have a choice and you can have a change of heart.
In your case where just thinking about it is as painful as it seems to be for you, then I really urge you to reconsider or at least allow yourself the luxury of seeing what other help there is out there and plans you can make with both of your children before you do something that is so drastic and irreversible. It will be a whole lot easier for you to live with. You and your daughter deserve that much.
As for your mother and your boyfriend their reactions are not terribly uncommon. Guys generally will come around or just leave entirely. More often than not, parents will come around. The best way to stop the pressure is to just hold firm and be resolute. The threats are the worst when you are uncertain. I have known several people who's parents threatened to disown their children if they didn't abort. They didn't. They loved their grandchildren. In one case, the mother was very adamant about disowning her daughter for not aborting. I went over to visit her and the mother was at her apartment holding the baby when I got there. LOL
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