Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 07/27/09 10:48pm
Hi, Kristen,
The other day I watched a video that is now seared in my mind. A woman who presumably walked into an abortion facility in good health was taken out of the back door and loaded aboard an ambulance. She was moaning and crying, and her legs were shaking. I can only imagine the pain she was in. And I think about her and wonder if she survived. These places are really butcher shops, and I don't ever want to see a woman go through the door and trust people like that again!
No matter what you do, things are going to change. The question is how to make them change for the better.
Abortion is dangerous. It can take your life, or render you seriously disabled. It isn't worth the risk. There are better answers.
I have eight grandchildren altogether. One of them was born to our son who had a brief affair with a woman. Even though they haven't gotten married, they have both raised the child and so far have done a wonderful job. I can't imagine life without my grandson in it! This doesn't mean you have to be tied to the father of your child. You have decisions to make. But you are 27 years old, which is old enough to raise a beautiful child. You mentioned your parents are Catholic. This is their grandchild you are carrying. What if you have an abortion, and they find out about it? What will it do to your relationship with them? If I were in their shoes, I'd have a very difficult time forgiving my daughter for taking the life of my grandchild. Although I'm not Catholic, and I disagree with a lot of what the Catholic church stands for, they got this one right. This baby is made in the image of God, and He has entrusted this baby to you.
Five minutes can change your life forever. And after that, there is no going back. Even if they don't hurt you medically, although that is highly likely, they will hurt you emotionally and spiritually. Why would you even want that carefree life, knowing how you bought it?
Will you find a decent man? The odds are very good that you will. Lots of people who post here have done so. A lot of the ladies have had a baby in just the circumstances you are describing and are now happily married to a wonderful man who is a father to their child in every way except biologically. As the mother of two adopted sons (and five other children), I can tell you it doesn't make any difference whether the baby came from your flesh or not. This is still your child. Some men will look at your situation and see that you have proven that you can be a good mother.
At some point, obviously, you will have to deal with the fact that you have no plans to keep in contact with the father. But it's really too early to make that decision now, it seems to me. Even if you decide to stay in touch, it won't be for the rest of your life unless you want it to be. Of course, he may want to stay in touch. But let time work out the answers to those problems.
Just take one day at a time. The answers will come. But first and foremost, you are now a mother. The circumstances aren't what you wanted. But will you rise to the occasion? I think you can, and I think if you don't, you will regret it for the rest of your life. So many women I have talked to do regret their abortions. It's not worth it. The cost is astronomical, more than you possibly can imagine. I think it is a travesty a woman even has to MAKE this decision.
Please protect yourself and your baby, and put those thoughts aside. You can do it. Take one day at a time. You have the resources. The fortitude will come. Please stay and talk with us. We will encourage you, and help you find any resources you need.
Hugs,
Pat
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