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Date Posted: 03/30/10 11:19am
Yes, your husband is a first class jerk. But let me ask you this: who is to blame for his behavior? Your husband, or your baby? If your husband is to blame, why punish your baby by this kind of gruesome harm? I don't blame you for not wanting another child involved, but he already is! He's real, and he's here. He IS involved! The question is what you are going to do about it. Will you protect your baby, or will you allow the harm your husband is doing to harm your baby, too? You are the only one who can protect your baby, and he is depending on you for your protection. For him, it's life or death.
It sounds like your husband wants to blame everyone but himself. He broke his vows; you didn't. He is to blame. Not you, and not your children, including this little one. If you did put him down (and I'm not saying you did; chances are, it's all in his mind; been there, done that), he isn't right to go cheat on you. He is to blame for that. Cheating on you is not the right remedy for being put down.
There is help available to meet your needs and to figure out the best legal solution. Since he clearly violated his vows, and he has a child by another woman, you don't owe him anything. You especially don't owe it to him to take him back. It is important to forgive him, but that does not mean you HAVE to take him back. Clearly, he needs to show that he has repudiated this other liaison, and he's given every indication he won't do this. So see what your legal remedies are, and let him worry about his other child.
As for your being sick, the best remedy I know is to sip ginger tea or ginger ale (with real sugar).
To find an organization near you that can help you with the difficulties you face, please go to this web site:
If you are not in the United States, let us know and we'll give you a different address.
Hang in there. You have children who need you. Take one day at a time. We will pray for you. Please don't yield to the temptation to harm yourself or anyone else. Please come back and let us know how you are doing. We love you.
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