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Subject: Re: Unplanned pregnancy by a married man

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Date Posted: 06/ 7/10 4:47pm
In reply to: Bella 's message, "Unplanned pregnancy by a married man" on 06/ 4/10 6:10pm

Hello, Bella,

By all means, we will listen. Let us know what is on your mind about the relationship.

Please also explain why you decided to have an abortion. Did you get any kind of pressure, other than your fear of discovery?

When a woman considers abortion, she is usually in a panic. People don't make good decisions when they are in a panic. A woman deserves to have enough information so that she can make a decision she can live with. One of the vital areas of information we are denied is just how dangerous abortion is. You deserve to know this while you still have a choice. Abortion can take your life, or harm your future children. It can also leave you seriously disabled, or deprive you of the opportunity ever to have a child. This is an area I have spent a lot of time studying. I want you to be aware of how dangerous it is before you get hurt. Also, if you do get hurt, your family will find out. Having an abortion to conceal a pregnancy is not a good idea. And if you are dependent on your parents, they will have to pay for your medical care if you do have a complication. Complications are frequent.

If this weren't enough, many abortionists are careless or their facilities are unsanitary and wouldn't pass an inspection by the local health department. And abortion can have serious emotional consequences. I know this from personal experience, and I wouldn't wish what I went through off on anyone.

Take your time. Don't rush into anything. Abortion is forever.

As for the messy situation you are in, my heart goes out to you. Obviously, this man took advantage of you. If you are afraid of your parents kicking you out or something like that, please be aware that few parents carry through with such a threat. Most become supportive. It may take awhile, but in the end, most parents love their grandchildren. If your parents are among the exceptions, there are places you can go that will welcome you and take care of you. You deserve to know what your alternatives are. You can find this information by finding an organization in your area that offers help to pregnant women. If you are in the United States, you can find one by going to this web site:


If you are not in the United States, I can give you a different link.

As for the father being married, it seems likely he won't want to have anything to do with the child, which can actually be helpful, because it makes things less complicated.

But please do let us know your thoughts. I will listen. Please take care and stay safe.


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