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Bush Telegraph
Rhodesians Worldwide
Last king... -- James, Sat, 19 Sep 2009, 1:01:55 (21Cust103.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.103)
ANGUS: Apparently, Idi Amin did offer his services to Scotland - I think he offered to head up the SNP (Scottish National Party). They wisely rejected his kind offer! Can't recall who the present King of Scotland should be - Rupert of Bavaria? Somewhere there is a linear descendant of the Stewart (Bonnie Prince Charlie et al) line.
NELLIE: All is goed my vriend.
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. -- Ray, Fri, 18 Sep 2009, 8:50:02 (nv-71-50-73-130.dhcp.embarqhsd.net/71.50.73.130)
Ok Jonni you're asking for it and you're going to get it.!!
Dad is overjoyed to hear his new son is being born, but the baby is born without a torso, arms and legs.
After much difficulty, he raised his son spoon feeding him. When his son reaches 21, he decides to take his son to the bar for his first drink. He puts his sons head on the bar, and orders a double vodka with a long long straw and puts the straw in the sons mouth. The son takes a sip. All of a sudden a torso pops out. Everybody in the bar is amazed. The father urges the son to take another drink. All of a sudden an arm and a hand pops out. With another drink a second arm and hand pops out. Everybody in the bar is now cheering. With both hands the son grabs the double and swallows it. A pair of legs and feet pop out.
The son attempts to walk but staggers around. Lurching backwards he staggers right out the bar and onto the street. He is struck by a bus and killed.
Tsk tsk mutters the barman to himself:
He shoulda quit while he was ahead.
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Ray -- Jonnie, Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 17:16:55 (CPE-58-167-244-132.wa.bigpond.net.au/58.167.244.132)
Ray that is bloody piss weak!
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More Humor -- ray, Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 15:48:02 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Johns workmates were planning a golfing weekend in Las Vegas for the office but his wife said absolutely not he cannot go.
So John was sitting at home all despondent drinking a beer and sulking.
But when his friend got to the vacation condo they found John there with his clubs, happily waiting to go golfing.
"What happened" asked his friends.
Well my wife decided to cheer me up so she came to me naked with some rope and said, "Why dont you tie me to the bed and then you can do absolutely what you want."
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lol, Pam -- Nellie (Pub sign), Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 2:32:08 (NoHost/121.215.41.148)
Liquor upfront,Poker in the Rear.
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lol, Pam! -- fever, Tue, 15 Sep 2009, 20:30:59 (t09-16.opera-mini.net/94.246.126.159)
Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 1664. I hope he was buying a class beer, but I doubt it.
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. -- ray, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 22:22:43 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Jean De Villiers brother Andre is playing here in the USA. When we asked him how Jean learned that famous intercept in this past saturday's game, he replied, well I taught Jean that. I intercepted his girls in the bar..
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. -- Angus, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 19:58:29 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
The last King of Scotland was Idi Amin.
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. -- Ray, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 16:12:33 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Or maybe Hank should take up painting??
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Last King of Scotland -- Pte Nel(Nellie) (kak), Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 10:04:08 (203-59-36-45.dyn.iinet.net.au/203.59.36.45)
B,tears et al,
James ,
that would of been funny if it was me, I cant claim the credit,it has gone to the no brainer trying to shit stir, poor bastard, Hau.
Cheers.
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James s -- Nellie, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 8:38:39 (CPE-124-185-103-157.qld.bigpond.net.au/124.185.103.157)
Stop behaving like your last King of Scotland.
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Humour? -- James., Sun, 13 Sep 2009, 17:43:10 (21Cust167.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.167)
Yo HANK the W. Instead of carping, why don't you post a better joke and show us you have a sense of humour?
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artist -- hank, Sun, 13 Sep 2009, 2:37:05 (host-72-175-125-231.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/72.175.125.231)
Even for you, that is pathetic.
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. -- Ray, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 22:35:00 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Hi Pam,
How about..
An artist holds an art show to sell her paintings.
She goes out to lunch and when she gets back her assistant tells her she has good news and bad news.
Your doctor bought all your paintings.
And the bad news?
He asked if your paintings will go up in value. I said somewhat but after your death they could easily quadruple in value.
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Weekend humour -- Pam, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 12:30:00 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.'
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Tri Nations -- Jo Pete, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 10:36:43 (vc-41-28-4-85.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.4.85)
Yo BT. Salute the Clutchplates. Tri Nations champions 2009. How often arwe the All Blacks beaten by a team 3 times on the trot?
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Looking for an old friend -- Jan van Gelder, Fri, 11 Sep 2009, 7:21:06 (proxy01.mel.iprimus.net.au/210.50.228.4)
I am looking for an old friend and workmate who was stationed as I was at the LLEWELLIN BARRACKS RHASC ARMY SERVICE CORPS.
His name is: ARISTOFOLIS KATOUNGOUS and his wife MARGARET.
I was godfather to one of his children at the ceremony at the Greek Orthodox Church in Bulawayo.
If anybody remembers him or his wife and there whereabouts please let me know at my e-mail address.
Thanks
Jan van Gelder
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Thanks -- Jimbo, Fri, 11 Sep 2009, 2:02:06 (220-253-113-24.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.113.24)
Thanks for the info dawie. Frank and Val's daughter is Hazel your old drunken mate Pete's shamwari. They used to farm south of Hatfield on the other side of New Sarum. Good people.
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Best lottery? -- James, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 21:50:35 (21Cust93.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.93)
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Best 'lottery' in my opinion is the Brit Premium Bonds one.
The interest goes to make the monthly prizes and there is a million quid win once a month. Usual wins are £50. But the great thing is, you can get your original wager back in full at any time! You canna beat that kind of gamble. Winnings are tax free and you can hold up to £30,000.
Bonds are sold in units of £100. Anyone can buy them but I have a feeling that one needs to pay using funds drawn against a UK bank. Until the recent recession which has affected the prize money available I was winning a dozen times a year which is the statistical average for wins considering the amount of bonds I hold.
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dawie in zim -- dawie, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 12:36:55 (vc-41-26-187-212.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.187.212)
jimbo ja fred died of cancer but frank is still alive liveing in harare i met his wife about 2 years back and said he still had the plot in greendale i think it was. that old mann is still running was there a few weeks back iam up on monday for a week any one want some pics shout.
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MSL -- bill, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 5:30:37 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
Massachusetts lottery games are open to all, you don't have to be a resident of the state.
These are the games:
Megabucks Doubler are drawn two times a week (Wednesday & Saturday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $100 (104 drawings)
Mass Cash is Drawn 3 times a week (Tuesday, Friday & Sunday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $150 (156 drawings)
Cash Winfall is drawn 2 times a week (Monday & Thursday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $200 (104 drawings)
All draws at 11:20pm
Season Tickets can be purchased via phone from out of state
Season Tickets Line 1-800-222-8587 (Business Hours Local Time)
http://www.masslottery.com/games/seasontickets.html
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. -- Ray, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 16:22:08 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
At 09.16 hours on 7 Aug, 1943, the Umvuma (Master John Newby Gibson), dispersed from convoy DN-54, was hit by one G7e stern torpedo from U-181 and sank after 11 minutes southwest of Port Louis, Mauritius. 17 crew members, one gunner and four passengers were lost. The master, 72 crew members, eight gunners and eight passengers were picked up by the salvage tug Maurice and landed at Port Louis.
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. -- Ray, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 15:55:44 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Sorry Ant, the only Umvuma with chimney picture on google is this one:
http://www.photoship.co.uk/JAlbum%20Ships/Old%20Ships%20U/slides/Umvuma-01.html
Doesnt look like it has much vuma tho'
Hi James welcome back.
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I knew him well -- Jimbo, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 0:22:15 (220.253-233-229.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.233.229)
Ja dawie I remember Fred Sweet very well, foreman of the Binding Dept. at Mardons, and Frank Edmonstone's boss (JoPete for your info). Fred and Frank used to make life as difficult as possible for me when I was a lightie chasing up jobs. I think we had a few f... you sessions. Good foreman though. I think Fred also went the way of the bigC.
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27 beers -- dawie, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 19:13:20 (vc-41-7-161-217.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.7.161.217)
joe pete 27 beers not counting the ones at the lion and elephant hotel if the powers on and they cold. iam in cape town tonight everytime i come here its cold and raining terrible place to live. the building in green piont and sea point have come on for the 2010 hey and they have cleaned the place iam with an old printer buddy chris sweet ex of harare and mardons think jimbo knew his old man fred. chris is recovering from cancer his too stupid not too so off for beers and jowel with him . dawie
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Chimkuyu -- Jo Pete, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 14:50:36 (41-208-48-160.mtn.co.za/41.208.48.160)
Yo BT. Jou Gat not sure about that particular chimkuyu. Whilst resident in Lalapanzi I stopped there often en route to Harare. It was the only place to buy food that wouldn't kill you. Nonetheless it was definitely made out of donkey. Thing is Mvuma is about 25 beers from Beit Bridge. Undoubtedly this has affected Dawie's judgement.
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China Safari -- Bob, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 10:07:32 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
The authors of the book, China Safari: On the Trail of Beijing's Expansion in Africa, say that the Chinese have turned a blind eye to the poverty, Aids and wars in Africa and are instead building restaurants, dams, infrastructure and even TV stations. So is China transforming Africa?
Guests
Serge Michel
Freelance Journalist
Publications
Title: China Safari: On the Trail of Beijing's Expansion in Africa
Author: Serge Michel and Michel Beuret
Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
listen now | download audio
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/saturdayextra/
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DAWIE -- Ant Brooks, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 4:41:05 (adsl-144-228-117.aby.bellsouth.net/70.144.228.117)
A picture would be appreciated. murungu@mindspring.com
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Howzit BT -- John W, Sun, 06 Sep 2009, 22:55:18 (adlgw1.baulderstone.com.au/203.37.164.2)
Umvuma chimney was also used for target practice by the Gooks.
dawie it's good to see you can still get good chimkuyu on the roadside stall at Umvuma.
TTFN
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What have I been missing? -- James, Sat, 05 Sep 2009, 15:28:11 (21Cust106.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.106)
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Hello Ray, Hello Jimbo and other good pals! Been away for a couple of months and wondered what I had missed. My Kind Regards to you.
Just checking the waters, as it were, I typed in 'Hank' in the 'Search' gadget and it only found 1 entry but a huge pile of 'tHANKS' - is the machine trying to tell me I ought to be grateful that he is now but a wisp?
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Umvuma Chimney -- Jo Pete, Sat, 05 Sep 2009, 7:10:46 (vc-41-26-203-237.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.203.237)
Yo BT. What I know about the Umvuma chimney is that it was built in the early 20th century by artisans from UK, especially imported for the job. It was for the roasting plant at the newly opened Atens Mine.I was always told as a Gwelo kid that the chimney was within kess than a mile of the exact geographical centre of Rhodesia. Looking at a map now I do not think that this is correct.
As far as I know it is still a national monument and has been for many years.
It was used by the RRAF as a waypoint in cross country exercises. Pilots had to pass the chimney at a precise time. In the 90's the top was quite severly damaged by lightening. This has obviously caused the collapse of the top of the chimney. When I lived in Lalapanzi I would pass the chimney weekly en route to Harare or Masvingo/Beit Bridge.
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. -- ray, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 19:19:06 (adsl-76-240-82-58.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net/76.240.82.58)
Hank be nice now or I will toss a piece of chromium ore I got from Petes mine on your roof (sinkplaat I presume) in the middle of the night.
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Umvuma -- hank, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 14:11:33 (host-69-144-201-162.static.bresnan.net/69.144.201.162)
Ant, don't expect a "short" history from JouHoPete, after all he built the blerry thing, operated the smelter and bliksemed it a couple of years ago. (He built Kariba at the same time, working late into the night.)
pip pip.
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Just for Jo Pete -- BOB, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 12:15:09 (mk-airlines-rtr-e1.hiway.co.uk/195.12.0.225)
Never let it be forgotten that it was the British Left who gave succour to the monstrous Mr Mugabe
Robert Mugabe will not go quietly.
Tyrants never do.
But it no longer seems absurdly optimistic to suppose that the long domination of Zimbabwe by this evil man may gradually be drawing to a close.
Now, of course, everyone agrees he is a monster.
How could it be otherwise?
David Milliband, the Foreign Secretary, was yesterday full of righteous anger in the Commons against this dictator who has ruined his country and tried to fix the elections (again).
Who could have guessed that until recently this appalling person was succoured by successive British Governments?
In 1994 he received an honorary knighthood from the Queen on the recommendation of the then Tory government.
Beast: Robert Mugabe has left Zimbabwe, once Africa's breadbasket, starving and ruined
Dear Robert. What a faithful friend to Britain he has been.
The Foreign Office is particularly expert at doling out baubles to despots.
Nicolae Ceausescu, the communist ruler of Romania for many years, was guilty of numerous crimes against humanity.
The Queen was required to invite him to stay at Buckingham Palace, and to bestow an honorary knighthood on him, though he was subsequently stripped of the honour.
Oh, but the FO's mandarins will say, Robert Mugabe used to be a good chap.
This is not true. He has always been a bad chap.
In 1982, two years after winning power, he sent the notorious North Korean-trained Fifth brigade into southern Zimbabwe, where they killed untold thousands of Matabele.
But the victims weren't white, you see, so we could go on being friends with Robert.
And how we did!
In 1984, the Tory government sold him lots of Hawk fighter aeroplanes, which were later used in an illegal war in the Congo.
As recently as the year 2000, Tony Blair personally decided that Britain should supply spare parts for these aircraft.
This was after Mr Mugabe had already embarked on the illegal seizure of white-owned farms, which he has handed out to his cronies who do not have much interest in, or knowledge of, farming. The upshot has been near starvation.
Then there were the 1,500 Land Rover Defenders sold at half price to the Zimbabwean government during the mid-1990s for use by the police.
What a very useful addition these have proved to be, as the police have attacked squatters or suppressed demonstrations or shut down independent newspapers or indulged in a spot of torture. I am not aware that HMG has ever conceded that selling these vehicles to Robert at a knock-down price may have been even a slight mistake.
Let's not pin all the blame on the Foreign Office, though.
Mr Mugabe had his fans on the Left of British politics even when his gallant "freedom fighters" were raping nuns and killing civilians in the "liberation war" of the 1970s.
Shameful: Tony Benn, an icon of the Left, gleefully endorsed Mugabe despite his soldiers' record of rape and torture
Because he was opposed by Ian Smith and the white settlers, regarded on the Left as the epitome of evil, the occasional lapses of his spirited boys in the bush were generally overlooked.
When he was returned by a huge majority in 1980 in British-sponsored elections, many in the liberal media were delighted.
The then abrasively Left-wing Tony Benn (today rebranded as the nation's cuddly grandad) wrote rapturously in his diaries that he "could not remember anything giving me so much pleasure for a long time".
Not even the massacres in Matabeleland really shook the confidence of his admirers on the Left.
The BBC, which had covered Ian Smith's much less shocking excesses in assiduous detail, largely ignored Mr Mugabe's genocide against his own people.
Even now it is seldom referred to, no doubt because it explodes the myth that Mr Mugabe used to be a good guy.
Even someone as normally thoroughly sensible as John Humprhys (a former BBC correspondent in Zimbabwe) was able to say in an aside on Radio Four's Today Programme earlier this week that when he assumed power Mr Mugabe was not a bad man.
He was.
If he has got worse in recent years as he grew reckless, the proof of his badness was always there.
This blindness to his obvious faults had its roots in colonial guilt, and the Left's hatred of the white settlers in what was then called Rhodesia.
Because Mugabe was their enemy, he must be a decent chap.
So the thinking went - if it can be characterised as thinking - and continued even when he soon started killing his own people.
If Mr Mugabe should be forced to stand down in the next few days or weeks, I shall rejoice.
Certainly, I would not be starry-eyed about Morgan Tsvangirai, the man who has beaten him squarely in the presidential and parliamentary elections, but there must be cause for hope that, with financial assistance from the West, he will be able to lead Zimbabwe back towards something like its former prosperity.
But in these (I pray) dying days of the monster Mugabe, when he stands in the way of the hopes of most Zimbabweans, we should not forget the support he has received over the years not just from British governments but also from many on the Left.
Nor should we be taken in by the lie that he was once an heroic and praiseworthy figure who just happens to have been corrupted by too much power.
And I also hope that, whatever settlement may be possibly hammered out between him and Mr Tsvangirai, Mr Mugabe will not be allowed to retire, as though there were nothing amiss, to the grotesque 25-bedroom mansion he has built for himself in a Harare suburb at the expense of his impoverished people.
Slobodan Milosevic, the former Serbian dictator, was required to stand trial in the Hague, charged with crimes against humanity.
Saddam Hussein was subjected to a more brutal process in an Iraqi court, and hanged.
Though he is 84, and possibly not very long for this world, Robert Mugabe should not be spared exhaustive investigation.
The charges he must face include: genocide against the Matabele people in the early 1980s; the systematic use of torture in countless instances; the illegal seizure of property; the suppression of a free Press; corruption and the misuse of State funds; and fixing at least two elections.
That should keep investigators occupied, whether at the war crimes tribunal in the Hague or elsewhere, for a considerable time.
You can bet that no restitution will be offered to the families of civilians in the Congo who have been killed by Britishmade aircraft, or to Zimbabweans mistreated by police using British-donated Land Rovers, but the British Government can at least deprive him of his honorary knighthood, which should never have been bestowed in the first place.
What a shaming episode this has been.
Throughout his 27-year rule, Robert Mugabe has been cosseted and petted by successive governments. All this indulgence did not prevent him from ruining his country. It helped him to achieve his ends.
He still clings to power, but the British Government and the Left may soon have the opportunity to atone for appalling past misjudgments of this evil man by ensuring that he pays for the terrible crimes he has committed.
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fallen off -- dawie, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 7:53:51 (vc-41-26-36-139.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.36.139)
dont know about the history but the top of the umvuma chim has fallen off. there is still a mine there and in the last three years has grown some what well the buidings around the shaft that is. take a pic next week if you want ant and send it to you. theres a small biltong shop about five kilos down the road on the harare road always stop there the farmer does not know the price of tong sells it for nothing all game tho. gets even with the price of a coke tho.
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Umvuma chimney -- Ant Brooks, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 3:23:00 (adsl-217-200-247.aby.bellsouth.net/68.217.200.247)
Howzit Jo-Pete
Can you give a short history about the chimney on the hill outside Umvuma?
Cheers
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Canada -- Wens, Thu, 03 Sep 2009, 8:56:27 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Ja quite a story about this in SA. I say good luck to the guy.
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