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Bush Telegraph
Rhodesians Worldwide
Joke,,, -- James, Mon, 12 Oct 2009, 16:38:28 (21Cust62.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.62)
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A man entered the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of
golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long
time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
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sorry ant -- dawie, Mon, 12 Oct 2009, 15:23:24 (vc-41-28-96-27.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.96.27)
sent to murungu@mindspring.com is this the right mail sending again ant.pam most of the stones are around hot springs to buhera area all on the surface must of walked all over the dam things in the bush war. ive seen some of them they dont look like diamonds at all.
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Monday humour -- Pam, Mon, 12 Oct 2009, 13:36:56 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why, thank you very much, he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says, "Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens...."
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Deadly diamonds??? -- Pam, Mon, 12 Oct 2009, 13:33:56 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
I did not know there were diamonds in Zimbers . . .
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Deadly Diamonds -- Bob, Mon, 12 Oct 2009, 10:05:04 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
We uncover shocking evidence of mass murder, torture and rape in a diamond field in Zimbabwe, carried out at the hands of Robert Mugabe's security forces.
Watch | Transcript | Comments (15)
http://www.sbs.com.au/dateline/
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Brooks -- Ant Brooks, Sun, 11 Oct 2009, 21:28:41 (adsl-217-205-151.aby.bellsouth.net/68.217.205.151)
Hello all. I have been away for a while. Thanks for the picture Jo Pete. The chimney looks quite sad. No doubt a reflection of the country. Dawie, ou pal, your picture never arrived. It must be somewhere in cyberspace!
Another request. Does anyone have a scan of a "Rhodesia is(or was) Super" sticker.
Cheers
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One for the scum nyokas... -- f'ever, Sun, 11 Oct 2009, 19:01:16 (v05-02.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.81)
What did the mother
snake say to her crying
baby ? Stop crying and
viper your nose.
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More... -- f'ever, Sun, 11 Oct 2009, 18:04:44 (v05-02.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.81)
Rabbit: I got kicked out
of my cage for not
paying the rent. My wife
walked out and took our
twenty-nine bunnies with
her. Im all out of carrots.
What should I do? Friend:
Dont worry; be hoppy!
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One for Jimbo's kids -- f'ever, Sun, 11 Oct 2009, 17:53:51 (v05-02.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.81)
Baby Rabbit: Mommy,
where did I come from?
Mother Rabbit: Ill tell
you when youre older.
Baby Rabbit: Oh,
Mommy, please, tell me
now. Mother Rabbit: If
you must know, you were
pulled from a magicians
hat.
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My China -- Jo Pete, Sun, 11 Oct 2009, 9:49:42 (vc-41-26-203-163.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.203.163)
Yo BT. Call my lank china JIMBO(TOT) a poofter at your peril. What I know is that, since going to Oz, he has proliferated better than a rabbit.
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Jimbo -- John w, Sat, 10 Oct 2009, 9:40:06 (NoHost/120.152.130.245)
Despite Jimbo being gay, he's a bloody good bloke,and it's his business.
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. -- Ray, Sat, 10 Oct 2009, 8:21:04 (adsl-75-56-198-28.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net/75.56.198.28)
Jimbo, the fake is even using my name now. He is yet to realize what huge trouble he is in, if he does he will gladly change positions with the Saudi that got sentenced to 1000 lashes.
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Voss Inn wanker... -- AKA Hank the Wanker, Sat, 10 Oct 2009, 0:58:42 (21Cust11.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.11)
The real Hank can be reached at the Voss Inn in faraway Bozeman, Montana. The real Hank is a decent and wise chap and wouldn't dream of calling Jimbo a fruit. Calling Jimbo a fruit would be taking one's life in one's hands, and not even our Voss Inn wanker is as glaiket as that.
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Real Jimbo -- Ray (Men loving Men), Fri, 09 Oct 2009, 7:11:28 (NoHost/120.152.209.70)
Real Jimbo, Real poofter more like it.
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thank you hank -- dawie, Fri, 09 Oct 2009, 5:44:06 (vc-41-26-86-23.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.86.23)
thank you hank
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I know -- Real Jimbo, Fri, 09 Oct 2009, 1:33:33 (220-253-149-173.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.149.173)
If ol Hank doesn't love me then I know I am on the right track. Yahoo!!! dawie, pre spell checker ex-compositors can spell, printers engineers can't. A known fact.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 18:52:36 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
There you have it, Jimbo. The compliments never cease.
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huh? -- hank, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 18:20:10 (host-69-144-201-162.static.bresnan.net/69.144.201.162)
IF there was anyone I would like to emulate/impersonate, I assure you, it would not be you.
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Pam, what's the .... -- f'ever, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 17:06:57 (v08-16.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.143)
difference between an African and an Arab?
One turns into a goat, the other humps them. Made for each other.
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Who Wants To Live In Australia -- Ray, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 15:26:08 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Go See
http://www.supersport.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14911
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. -- Ray, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 14:52:41 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher,
indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother "...please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."
So, Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
"First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..." So he
unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
"OK, now take off my skirt..." And he takes off her skirt.
"Now, take off my bra..." Which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties..."
And when Johnny finishes removing these, she says,
"Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!
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And now for some Thursday humour -- Pam, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 12:00:26 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
An Irishman man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a Preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the Preacher, who turns to him but is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'
So the Preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water and as he pulls him up asks "Brother, have you found Jesus?
The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'
The Preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks "Have you found Jesus?"
The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I haven't found Jesus.'
By this time the Preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again, this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his legs and thrashing is arms, he pulls him up and asks again,
'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
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Criminal transforms into a goat . . . -- Pam, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 11:58:28 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
That explains why the cops in SA seldom arrest criminals - there must be many millions of goats wandering around SA looking for their next victims!
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cant spell like ek -- dawie, Thu, 08 Oct 2009, 6:02:27 (vc-41-28-254-135.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.254.135)
thank god hank cant post for me he cant spell like me jimbo sounds like you tho. hey zambia gets better big building going on there shopping centers etc roads all good in lusaka since i was last there two years back. iam told most of the zim farmers have come and gone. thay could not cover the cost of new farms to the banks.
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Best form of flattery -- Jimbo One, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 23:57:12 (220.253-234-156.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.234.156)
They say copying is the best form of flattery. The Jimbo who posted two messages this week was not me. Some misguided juvenile I reckon. Hank what have you been up to lately?
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Where's Don the hout? -- f'ever, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 21:06:57 (v02-13.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.44)
I reckon he's face-down, tits-up with a lager in a kraal somewhere. Gives houts a bad name.
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. -- Ray, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 15:51:58 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Magic goat detained for armed robbery
Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery (Image © Julien Behal/PA Wire)
A goat is being held in police custody in Nigeria on suspicion of the attempted robbery of a Mazda 323 car.
According to Reuters, vigilantes took the animal to a police station, claiming it was a male criminal who had used magic to transform himself into a goat in order to evade capture after stealing the vehicle.
Kwara state police have detained the animal while they ponder their next move.
Metro reports that police spokesman Tunde Mohammed confirmed that the vigilante group had pursued two men suspected of stealing the car. He then explained that, while one had escaped from the mob, the other had transformed into a goat before being herded to the police station.
Mohammed said that the police require scientific proof that the transformation from human to goat took place before charges can be made and added that they cannot base their actions on mysticism, reports Reuters.
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Humour -- Jimbo, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 7:00:23 (NoHost/120.152.45.224)
Jo Pete is a sadza snake, and he's got a shit sence of humour.
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The Many Lives of Roger Casement -- bob, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 4:56:12 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
The Many Lives of Roger Casement. - part 2 of 2
In Part 1 we heard how Casement became a pioneering crusader for human rights in Africa and South America.
But Casement's reputation as a humanitarian has been overshadowed for many years by the story of the Black Diaries.
The Black Diaries are a kind of gay Decameron - an explicit record of Casement's sexual encounters with young men in the Congo and Peru.
They're a secret, parallel narrative to the official record of his human rights investigations.
Scotland Yard got hold of the diaries during Casement's trial for treason in 1916, and leaked them to politicians, religious leaders and the press.
For decades after Casement's execution, it was widely believed in Ireland that the diaries were a forgery, concocted by British intelligence.
Most, though not all historians, now believe the diaries are genuine.
But the prominent Irish writer Colm Toibin thinks the popular memory of Casement has been sanitized.
Those who revere him as a secular patron saint of Irish independence, says Toibin, don't want to admit that Casement was also an Edwardian sex tourist.
Tom Morton takes up the story as Casement returns to Ireland at a crucial moment in modern Irish history - the Easter Rising of 1916.
Listen|Download
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/hindsight/stories/2009/2686304.htm
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The Many Lives of Roger Casement -- bob, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 4:55:06 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
Roger Casement is one of the most enigmatic and controversial figures in modern Irish history. As a young man, in the 1880s,he went to work in Africa, and later became British Consul in the Congo Free State - a colony personally owned by King Leopold II of Belgium.
In 1903 Casement travelled up the Congo River to investigate reports of atrocities against native workers on the rubber plantations.
What he discovered was the first great crime against humanity of the 20th century. Between 3 and 4 million Africans were killed, starved to death or perished from disease under the cruel rubber regime of Leopold II.
Later,Casement became a leading figure in the Irish nationalist movement. On the eve of the rebellion of Easter 1916 he was captured, spirited out of Ireland to the tower of London, and later hanged - but not before the British authorities had leaked Casement's private diaries, the so-called Black Diaries, which contained explicit accounts of his sexual encounters with young men in the Congo and the Amazon. Casement's supporters claimed the diaries were forged - and to this day there's controversy about the secret self they reveal.
Part one of this two part series examines Casement's early life, as a crusader in what he called 'a movement for human liberation'.
Listen|Download
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/hindsight/stories/2009/2683292.htm
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Snake Humour -- Ray, Wed, 07 Oct 2009, 4:23:16 (adsl-75-56-198-28.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net/75.56.198.28)
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit.
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Satanyoka -- f'ever, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 22:30:41 (v05-16.opera-mini.net/80.239.242.95)
Every snake I met had a sense of humour until they got clue-batted or shot. Best one was a mofo 6 ft
plus cobra, parked ön the grass by the tobacco barns, all coiled up, head on its' coils, totally dead. Yes, even dead nyokas have a sense of humour.
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Snakes alive! -- James, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 17:10:24 (21Cust138.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.138)
___________________________________________________________
RAY: I once had a night adder as a pet until my Dad set it free. It had an attitude problem and, as far as I could tell, no real sense of humour. Come to think of it I also kept a ground hunting (trapdoor) spider as a pet and he (she?) had no sense of humour either. I kept it in an enamel bucket and it killed everything I threw in including a lizard. At first I wasn't sure who was chasing whom, but it soon became clear when the spider got the lizard by the eye! The lizard died quite quickly.
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off to zambia -- dawie, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 14:59:58 (vc-41-28-222-170.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.222.170)
iam off to zambia for a few days they now want yellow fever injections for there or rather you need it on your yellow card when you return to south africa or they wont let you back in. does the uk require that from returning residenceand aussie as well dont know. they only wanted yellow fecver for the drc uganda etc before. does this mean yellow fever is on the up, the injection lasts ten years.
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Crap is Crap -- Jimbo, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 9:10:56 (NoHost/120.152.26.60)
Snakes have dry black humour, get your facts right!
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Snakes and Hank. -- Ray, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 4:49:51 (adsl-75-56-198-28.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net/75.56.198.28)
James did you hear they actually did a study on snakes to find out if they have a sense of humor.
Finding??
Snakes have absolutely NO sense of humor. Whatsoever.
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He lives! He speaks... -- James, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 3:50:12 (21Cust194.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.194)
Hank the Wanker lives! Praises be given! Now we are in for some honest-to-goodness clean adult humour, AND not only that, we will soon be privileged to see his burning intelligence at work!
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... -- f'ever, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 1:11:06 (t12-04.opera-mini.net/94.246.126.195)
Hank, wb,well, I could put a trace on the phone, or just google the numbers. Their Mom is going well pissed off. Maybe I should ask Ray to have a word, 'splain how it works. sometimes.
Good post, MgmBob, however the earnings ratio vis-a-vis rich/poor has changed vastly since those days and the ndt just gives us int. I bet if the tax-payers stopped paying tax, a lot of politicians wouldn't be eating dinner tonight either.
Compare: UK/World prices/wages now against Rhodesian. Whatever is said, society out there was a lot more equal than anyone gives credit to.
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pathetic -- hank, Tue, 06 Oct 2009, 0:10:10 (host-72-175-125-231.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/72.175.125.231)
Does infantile humour always have to be filthy?
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. -- ray, Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 20:26:52 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with triplets.
Her husband was in such a hurry that he took a short cut to the hospital through a gang infested neighborhood. A car with gangsters drove by and shot three shots at the car, hitting the woman in the stomach.
When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?"
"What?"
I pissed out a bullet.
So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."
So the mom told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"
The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."
"No I was jacking off and I shot the dog!"
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Joke... -- James., Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 17:01:37 (21Cust91.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.91)
_________________________________________________________
DUCKS IN HEAVEN.
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on
a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter,who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,
is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The fellow says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
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bob bob -- dawie, Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 14:49:10 (vc-41-26-55-159.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.55.159)
yip bob you right boet.then they start the crime hijacking house robberies blah blah. latest here is the kidnapping in joberg, they talking of armed guards at the nursery schools. land grab in natal has started. world cup i would not come to south africa for it and i live here. how the hell vistors could protect themselves.
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Tax Cuts -- John Sandford (Right on Target - Tax Cuts), Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 11:43:49 (tvwt-ip-ccache-1-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.182)
Bob, your article from Time Magazine, 1958 is excellent.
If only this "Dawn of Understanding", had been implemented by the British Government in 1960, then we would all have had a great Rhodesia today!
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TAX CUTS -- BOB, Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 10:25:14 (mk-airlines-rtr-e1.hiway.co.uk/195.12.0.225)
OK I have decided to put a South African spin to an old story so Blacks can understand what happens to taxes, tax cuts and what happens when Whites leave….Also check the 1958 article below…From Time magazine.
Suppose there are ten men who go to dinner every night. Six of them are Black, one Coloured, one Indian and two Whites. The one White guy is middleclass and the other is rich. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The bill comes to R1000, but four Blacks pay nothing, they eat for free every night. Two Blacks pay a share of R20 and R30 each. The Coloured guy pays R100, the Indian pays R150, the middle class White guy pays R200 and the rich White guy pays R500.
Everything went well. The ten men ate happily every night until one day the restaurant owner said that they were such good customers he was going to give them a break so he reduced the bill with R200. (In tax language a tax cut).
So the first four Black guys were basically unaffected by this and still ate for free, but the six others started thinking about how they would split the R200 cut in the Bill so everyone would get his fair share.
R200 divided by six would mean R33.33 each. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the two paying Blacks would end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant own er suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
So the first paying Black guy that night only had to pay R16, the second paying Black guy only paid R24, the coloured guy paid R80, the Indian guy R120, the middleclass White guy paid R160 and the rich White guy paid R400 instead of his usual R500. Each of the original six paying ones were better off than before. The first four Black guys still got their meal for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. The first paying black said he only got R4 from the R200. The second Black guy said he only saved R6. The Coloured and the Indian guys were a bit grumpy that they only got R20 and R30 off their usual bill, but otherwise they were happy that they paid less that night.
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four Black men in unison, “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The Blacks looked at the middle class White guy who got R40 from the R200 discount and the rich White guy who got a wopping R100 and they became bitter about it.
So the six Blacks surrounded the two White guys, beat them up and stole what they had on them.
The next night the men met again for dinner, but noticeably absent were the two White men who decided to go to another restaurant and not eat with them anymore. At first nobody missed the two White guys and they all sat down and ate without them, but then the bill came and to their horror they discovered that they were now R560 short of paying their bill. Imagine that!
And that dear fellows…. is how it works when you tax White people to death, beat them up and steal from them. They will just not show up at the table anymore and will just decide to go have dinner somewhere else,… which means that you will be on your own and will have to pay all the bills yourself…and there will be no more free lunches, you will catch rats and scratch in dustbins just like in Zimbabwe after the Whites have left.
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laffing boy -- f'ever, Mon, 05 Oct 2009, 2:11:25 (t04-12.opera-mini.net/94.246.126.75)
Did your Zimbo site get hacked again whilst your Mom was out doing tricks and left you alone with the keyboard again? Grow some tits and act like a real woman for a change.
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Sik Joke -- Don Bezedenhout (laffing), Sun, 04 Oct 2009, 23:24:42 (92.40.33.171.sub.mbb.three.co.uk/92.40.33.171)
Mummy mummy the guys at school are saying that Fever has sex with himself
no he's just a bit of a w'nker
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Guy Fawkes and Colonialism -- John Sandford (Concerned), Sun, 04 Oct 2009, 14:46:41 (tvwt-ip-ccache-1-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.182)
The previous weeks copy of the Bulawayo Newsletter, The Morning Mirror, advertisers a 5th of November Guy Fawkes fire works display to be held at Ncema Dam and Bulawayo residents are invited to attend.
Comment; -
English traditions such as Guy Fawkes, Queen's Birthday parades, flying Union Jack's, etc., came to an end in Africa, with Macmillan's "Winds of Change' speech, marking the end of Colonialism in Africa in 1960.
Those who persist in staging events like the above, put themselves and others at serious risk, facing eviction and confiscation of their properties. A fire works display is quite OK, but definitely not the English tradition Guy Fawkes.
Regretably, those who voted for the Roy Welensky 1961 constitution, did not want an Independent Rhodesia in 1960, and did not want an Independent Zimbabwe in 1980. It suggests their mind set remains fixed as Illegitimate English settlers in a land they are attached to, but alienated from.
The above assessment is made taking into account the politically situation prevailing since 1980.
Comments from readers would be most welcome.
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Queen Mother arrives in Salisbury -- Bob, Sat, 03 Oct 2009, 6:58:55 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
Salisbury, Rhodesia / Zimbabwe. Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother arrives in Salisbury.
MS Guard of Honour presenting arms. Salisbury airport building in background. MS VIP's including Lord Malvern, Prime Minister of the Federation of Rhodesia in centre. LS BOAC Britannia aeroplane taxiing towards camera. MS Queen Mother at aircraft door - then proceeds down steps. MS Queen Mother being greeted by acting Governor General Sir Robert Tredgold. CU Queen Mother greeting other Governors etc. MS Ditto from end of line. LS Back view of Queen Mother at saluting base Guards present arms, airport building in background. MS Queen Mother inspecting Guard of Honour. MS Federal coat of arms, Union Jack and two spectators. LS Crowds of all races waving. MS Car with Queen Mother approaches camera, pan with car and end with view along 1st Street.
http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=66756
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van -- dawie, Fri, 02 Oct 2009, 9:43:40 (vc-41-28-107-141.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.107.141)
two father xmas on a roof which one is van, the one with the easter egg.
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Aussie Braai -- Caro, Fri, 02 Oct 2009, 8:07:32 (77-100-197-31.cable.ubr07.wiga.blueyonder.co.uk/77.100.197.31)
Passing this on for ORAFS and AFAZ please pass onwards anyone who may be interested.
Air Force Association of Zimbabwe
P.O. Box 367
Springwood
Qld 4127
Australia
Fax 07 32080279 eMail: nigel@merlynproducts.com.au
AFAZ DOWN UNDER 2009
The venue is in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on: -
Date - Sunday 8th November 2009
Venue – Residents Facilities, the driveway after 71 St Andrews Drive, Riverlakes, Cornubia (for GPS enter Loganholme), Qld 4130 (site will be signed).
Time – 11.00am to 5.00 p.m.
Lunch – BYO braai or Picnic Lunch and drinks. A Gas braai is available on site.
Desert, Tea & Coffee will be provided.
Drinks – BYO.
Dress – Comfortable.
Cost – Free.
Accommodation – Can be arranged.
If you are coming from out of town and require a BBQ pack, this can be arranged for a cost of $10.00. RSVP by 1st November 2009 so that we can arrange the packs. We will require payment with your request.
There is a bottle shop as you drive into the estate if you require drinks.
Please note that this is a reunion for all so please pass this on to all ex Air Force personnel and their families as well as anyone who has an interest or has had anything to do with Air Force in all of its forms over the years.
Please eMail Nigel and Jenny and advise if you will be attending and also give numbers and names of friends going with you.
We look forward to seeing you there.
Nigel and Jenny Fotheringham.
[Edit]
Joke -- Jo Pete, Fri, 02 Oct 2009, 7:46:41 (vc-41-29-184-120.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.29.184.120)
Pretty little girl is sitting on a park bench with her Daxie. Nun walking past.
Hello little girl. You are so pretty and what a pretty dress you are wearing. What a nice dog. What's his name?
Porky.
Oh is he called Porky because he's so fat?
No he's called Porky because he fucks pigs.
[Edit]
little red riding hood -- dawie, Fri, 02 Oct 2009, 6:03:06 (vc-41-28-7-38.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.7.38)
little red riding hood is running in the forest iam off to see my granny iam off to see my granny.suddenly she stops and sees the big bad wolfs hideing behind a big tree just his head showing. what big eyes you have she says, fuck off iam haveing a shit.
[Edit]
Sick jokes? -- James, Thu, 01 Oct 2009, 23:19:17 (21Cust213.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.213)
__________________________________________________________
RAY: Ooooh! These 'sick jokes' (I think they are called) enjoyed great popularity in the 1960's).
-Mommmy mommy, why am I going round in circles?
Mother: Shut up or I will nail your other foot to the floor!"
-Cross your feet Jesus; we only have one nail left...
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Thu, 01 Oct 2009, 16:08:14 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fool!"
[Edit]
Pielie Joke -- Pete Nel,ex Que Que. (Lekker), Thu, 01 Oct 2009, 15:28:09 (CPE-124-182-40-195.sa.bigpond.net.au/124.182.40.195)
A guy goes into a barber's shop with his young daughter wearing a short dress sucking on a lolly pop, the girl drop's the lolly pop and bends down to pick it up, the barber says's, have you got hairs on it love! the girl say's! fuck off I am only five.
[Edit]
JOKE. -- James., Wed, 30 Sep 2009, 23:48:39 (21Cust86.tnt3.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.17.86)
___________________________________________________________SIPPING
VODKA
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning
of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off
his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper
he said, 'Take this and eat it for this is my body.'
He did not say 'Eat me'.
12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
Meraai was reg . . . -- Pam, Wed, 30 Sep 2009, 22:38:32 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
Wie sou die Blou Bulle wil ondersteun?
[Edit]
Pielie -- Jo Pete, Wed, 30 Sep 2009, 10:27:02 (vc-41-31-245-161.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.31.245.161)
Yo BT. Seems I have mis identified Nellie and attributed the nanny remarks to that fine old Rhodie Pete Nel,ex Que Que. First off profuse apologies to my old gabba.
To the other aresehole using the original N D P, get a life.
Go and cause your shit elsewhere.
[Edit]
WeePee Rugby Joke.. -- Ray, Tue, 29 Sep 2009, 22:56:32 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Meraai is die klaagster in 'n verkragtingsaak teen Gatiep.
Sy lewer getuienis in die getuiebank soos volg:
"Nei djou Onner, ek staan nogal soe en eitkyk by my venstetjie na onne toe en ek sien die "Blue Bulls bus" verby kom. Skielik, voor djy kan sê HABANA, verskyn Gatiepie hier vlak agter my. Hy klap die venstetjie van boe af agter my nek. Vas! En daa staat ek toe - ek kan nie bewieg nie.
Djou Onner, (en sy pik 'n traantjie) toe violate hy my somme van agter af!"
Gatiepie se prokureur kom aan die beurt tydens kruisondervraging en vra vir Meraai waarom sy dan geensins geskree het tydens die daad nie.
Haar antwoord volg ewe kordaat:
"Nei djou Onner, netnou dink die mense ek support die Bulls!"
[Edit]
Pielie -- Jo Pete, Tue, 29 Sep 2009, 20:21:09 (vc-41-28-64-2.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.64.2)
Yo BT. Pielie sometimes I really wonder about your brain. You calling my ex wives nannies??? If you can only make an arsehole when you open your mouth best don't open it. But in fairness I think that sometimes you don't realise what kak comes out of it sometimes.
[Edit]
back from zim -- dawie, Sun, 27 Sep 2009, 7:17:58 (vc-41-28-215-232.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.215.232)
hello to all , seems quite here for a change did another zim trip things going on but now theres talk of bee movements starting up in the companies and investors back off again. thousands of trucks carring good to who knows where from mining equipment to farming. passed on the way back 50 40meter trucks with copper on. ant sent you the pics of umvuma.had no power cuts this time but harare still has no water in most places. from print in zim len barnes died last week heart attack wife found him in front of the tv in harare good one len way to go. dawie
[Edit]
Voyeur... -- f'ever, Sat, 26 Sep 2009, 19:15:59 (t07-14.opera-mini.net/94.246.126.125)
Geez, Obs, that actually happened to you? You are such a whore for nothing, in that case.
[Edit]
Fever might argue -- (an observation), Sat, 26 Sep 2009, 1:20:16 (host86-128-58-173.range86-128.btcentralplus.com/86.128.58.173)
probably poke a stick
but then she might say ARR ELL EYE
SMAAK TO NIGH BUT DONT SSMAAK TO PAY
...as you were
[Edit]
finding a long lost friend -- pam lynch formely lakey, Thu, 24 Sep 2009, 21:14:13 (5ac09a9b.bb.sky.com/90.192.154.155)
Iam looking for Karen Makin,we worked together at the Reserve Bank Rhodesia Salisbury WAY BACK.... If you or anyone who knows of her where about, please let her know her mate Pam is trying to get a hold of her.Please get in touch,via this site, or Face book Thanks Pam
[Edit]
Sex Degrees Of Separation -- Nellie, Thu, 24 Sep 2009, 12:51:10 (CPE-121-221-129-172.wa.bigpond.net.au/121.221.129.172)
And then at the opposite end of the scale, Jo Pete has done more nanny's than you could poke a stick at.
[Edit]
Sex Degrees Of Separation -- Nellie, Thu, 24 Sep 2009, 11:25:16 (CPE-60-231-242-122.wa.bigpond.net.au/60.231.242.122)
This count's Jimbo out, he has only ever had D.I.Y sex.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Wed, 23 Sep 2009, 16:26:42 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Actually correct website is
http://calculators.lloydspharmacy.com/SexDegrees/index.aspx
Even if you had only one sexual partner starting age 28
the number is 150,000 for the AVERAGE person.
[Edit]
Sex Degrees Of Separation. -- Ray, Wed, 23 Sep 2009, 16:15:13 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
it has been calculated that if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone, there are only six degrees of separation between you and every one else in the world. In a new twist, a calculator for Sex Degrees of Separation has been made by Loyds Pharmacy.
The average Brit has had about 2.8 million sex partners if you include the partners of partners of all the persons they have had sex with.
You can calculate how many direct and indirect sexual partners you have had in your lifetime on this website. You must know the approximate ages of all you sexual partners. The calculator allows for a maximum of 50 partners, and only allows entry of age 16 or higher.
If you have had male male sex, the number skyrockets.
If you have had more than 50 partners and you are over 50 then don't bother. You have had direct and indirect contact of over ten million.
Here is the website.
http://calculators.lloydspharmacy.com/SexDegrees/results.aspx
[Edit]
Great jokes - thanks -- Pam, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 22:17:52 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
Thanks for the excellent humour - Ray.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 21:12:02 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve some bad news. You have cancer and you’d better put your affairs in order.’ The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. ‘Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. Let’s head to the club and have a martini.’
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old lady friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. ‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’
The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman’s daughter
leaned over and whispered, ‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.’
The women said:
All I am doing is putting my affairs in order.
‘I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 21:04:38 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
No girl should be without her cuchini this summer..
https://www.cuchini.com/
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 20:52:14 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Ok Pam!
A guy orders a beer…The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits a blonde’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the guy calls for another beer this happens. So after his third beer he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs the man jumps up and starts to lick her tits… SHE DECKS HIM! He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning.
“Damn lady, why do you let the bartender do it?,” the man asks.
“Because,” says the blonde, “He has a lickor license.”
[Edit]
Monday humour -- Pam, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 3:35:50 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
TWENTY DOLLARS...
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed..
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $10 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $20 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the result of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $30 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him..
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut...
[Edit]
Jislaaik - James and Ray muddle my history . . -- Pam, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 3:30:55 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
Interesting ideas you all have about British history.
Nice jokes too.
[Edit]
Hail! -- James., Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 3:14:15 (21Cust142.tnt3.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.17.142)
_________________________________________________________
Hail JIMBO! King of Scots! All we have to do is,
-FIND A WEE STANE WI' A RING,
-THEN SIT DOON AN' PROCLAIM YERSEL' KING!
I don't think one is elected King of Scots - you just grab the throne using strong-arm tactics like The Bruce or Wallace... I read that Wallace could swirl that great sword of his so fiercely that 'heid and hat did fly' on one occasion.
RAY: I recall that Smuts had an unsuccessful go at flushing out the wily von Lettow-Vorbeck in the Great War.
Thinking a bit futher back, wouldn't de Wet have made an effective King of Scots!
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
When is the election -- Jimbo, Tue, 22 Sep 2009, 3:01:57 (220.253-231-50.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.231.50)
James I would be happy to stand for King of Scotland, when is the election. I reckon I could beat Idi's muntu son.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Mon, 21 Sep 2009, 21:03:06 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
The Afrikaner is closer to the German in language and culture, so when Smuts sided with the English against the Germans, the conservative Afrikaner considered him to be a traitor.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Mon, 21 Sep 2009, 20:55:17 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
James you think you are kidding, but if you check the wikipedia biography of Jannie Smuts you will see he was the shadow prime minister of England, in case a bomb dropped on Winston Churchill. This did not make him very popular with hardcore Boere, that hated the British.
I think it is great that a Boerseun was 2IC of England.
[Edit]
Slow, but I generally get there... eventually. -- James., Mon, 21 Sep 2009, 2:16:25 (21Cust141.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.141)
__________________________________________________________
And here's me thinking about the lad who poisoned his wife in 1945... And then the Reichsmark finally dropped! Ain't that a reference to Herr Hitler? I'm slow, but I generally get there in the end. Yes, maybe he did have designs on Scotland; maybe that's why Herr Hess flew over on a visit during the War. Crikey! I think we'd sleep better o' nights with some benign fellow like Jimbo on the throne.
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
King for a day? -- James, Mon, 21 Sep 2009, 2:02:09 (21Cust141.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.141)
___________________________________________________________
JIMBO for KING! The English seem to get on fine with
Germans on the throne. Or what about a Boereseun? I think, however, that if it came to a vote, the majority of Scots would not go for a king, foreign or not.
[Edit]
Scotland -- Dougall Stewart (Scotland), Mon, 21 Sep 2009, 1:36:20 (CPE-124-182-23-57.sa.bigpond.net.au/124.182.23.57)
Hamish Amin the elder son of Idi, is the official King of Scotland.
[Edit]
Scotland -- roger, Sun, 20 Sep 2009, 9:12:56 (222-152-254-15.jetstream.xtra.co.nz/222.152.254.15)
James. the Bavarian claimant actually died in 1945, he apparently poisoned his wife and shot himself.
A truly tragic end to a model who may have transformed Scotland (not)
[Edit]
Too many foreigners -- Jimbo, Sun, 20 Sep 2009, 4:23:41 (220-253-23-107.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.23.107)
Too many foreigners in Scotland nowadays James. Who would want to be King, we will do what the wee Bonnie Prince Charlie did and stay away.
[Edit]
Die droogte in die Karoo... -- James, Sat, 19 Sep 2009, 17:54:02 (21Cust225.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.225)
_________________________________________________________
Die droogte in die Karoo het so erg geword dat daar niks meer oor is van Oom Sarel se plaas nie. Hy het al sy beeste laat slag, al sy skape verkoop.
Die veld is so droog soos hy dit nog nooit in sy 65 jaar gesien het nie.
Die plaaswerkers het verlede maand getrek om te gaan kyk of hulle nie kan werk kry in Zimbabwe nie, so sleg het dit gegaan.
Oom Sarel sit een oggend op die stoep, verby moedeloos.
Skielik kom daar 'n helikopter oor gevlieg. Nog nooit tevore het hy 'n helikopter gesien nie. Hy kyk die helikopter so, draai na Tant Sarie en se vir haar: "Daar fokof die windpomp ook nou!"
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
Righ on... -- James, Sat, 19 Sep 2009, 17:50:47 (21Cust225.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.225)
__________________________________________________________
RAY: I believe the first Elizabeth of England bumped off her sister Mary just as soon as she presented a threat to the staus quo, so I can imagine that the Bavarian chappie is indeed wise to keep a low profile meanwhile... Someone suggested Sean Connery might make a decent king of Scots! I think I could thole the job myself, but no one has asked me. I wonder about the Bavarian claimant - what kind of fellow is he, I wonder?
__________________________________________________________
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Sat, 19 Sep 2009, 2:42:37 (nv-71-50-73-130.dhcp.embarqhsd.net/71.50.73.130)
James:
Franz, Duke Of Bavaria, is a great-grandson of the last King of Bavaria, Ludwig III, who was deposed in 1918. He is also the current senior co-heir-general of King Charles I of England and Scotland, and thus is considered by Jacobites to be the heir of the House of Stuart and the rightful ruler of England, Scotland, France and Ireland as King Francis II, though he himself does not advance the claim.
If he did pursue his claims it is clear that Elizbeth would not be amused, and might arrange a little car smash for him somewhere, mebbe in Paris where the ambulances are really slow.
[Edit]
Last king... -- James, Sat, 19 Sep 2009, 1:01:55 (21Cust103.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.103)
ANGUS: Apparently, Idi Amin did offer his services to Scotland - I think he offered to head up the SNP (Scottish National Party). They wisely rejected his kind offer! Can't recall who the present King of Scotland should be - Rupert of Bavaria? Somewhere there is a linear descendant of the Stewart (Bonnie Prince Charlie et al) line.
NELLIE: All is goed my vriend.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Fri, 18 Sep 2009, 8:50:02 (nv-71-50-73-130.dhcp.embarqhsd.net/71.50.73.130)
Ok Jonni you're asking for it and you're going to get it.!!
Dad is overjoyed to hear his new son is being born, but the baby is born without a torso, arms and legs.
After much difficulty, he raised his son spoon feeding him. When his son reaches 21, he decides to take his son to the bar for his first drink. He puts his sons head on the bar, and orders a double vodka with a long long straw and puts the straw in the sons mouth. The son takes a sip. All of a sudden a torso pops out. Everybody in the bar is amazed. The father urges the son to take another drink. All of a sudden an arm and a hand pops out. With another drink a second arm and hand pops out. Everybody in the bar is now cheering. With both hands the son grabs the double and swallows it. A pair of legs and feet pop out.
The son attempts to walk but staggers around. Lurching backwards he staggers right out the bar and onto the street. He is struck by a bus and killed.
Tsk tsk mutters the barman to himself:
He shoulda quit while he was ahead.
[Edit]
Ray -- Jonnie, Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 17:16:55 (CPE-58-167-244-132.wa.bigpond.net.au/58.167.244.132)
Ray that is bloody piss weak!
[Edit]
More Humor -- ray, Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 15:48:02 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Johns workmates were planning a golfing weekend in Las Vegas for the office but his wife said absolutely not he cannot go.
So John was sitting at home all despondent drinking a beer and sulking.
But when his friend got to the vacation condo they found John there with his clubs, happily waiting to go golfing.
"What happened" asked his friends.
Well my wife decided to cheer me up so she came to me naked with some rope and said, "Why dont you tie me to the bed and then you can do absolutely what you want."
[Edit]
lol, Pam -- Nellie (Pub sign), Thu, 17 Sep 2009, 2:32:08 (NoHost/121.215.41.148)
Liquor upfront,Poker in the Rear.
[Edit]
lol, Pam! -- fever, Tue, 15 Sep 2009, 20:30:59 (t09-16.opera-mini.net/94.246.126.159)
Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 1664. I hope he was buying a class beer, but I doubt it.
[Edit]
. -- ray, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 22:22:43 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Jean De Villiers brother Andre is playing here in the USA. When we asked him how Jean learned that famous intercept in this past saturday's game, he replied, well I taught Jean that. I intercepted his girls in the bar..
[Edit]
. -- Angus, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 19:58:29 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
The last King of Scotland was Idi Amin.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 16:12:33 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Or maybe Hank should take up painting??
[Edit]
Last King of Scotland -- Pte Nel(Nellie) (kak), Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 10:04:08 (203-59-36-45.dyn.iinet.net.au/203.59.36.45)
B,tears et al,
James ,
that would of been funny if it was me, I cant claim the credit,it has gone to the no brainer trying to shit stir, poor bastard, Hau.
Cheers.
[Edit]
James s -- Nellie, Mon, 14 Sep 2009, 8:38:39 (CPE-124-185-103-157.qld.bigpond.net.au/124.185.103.157)
Stop behaving like your last King of Scotland.
[Edit]
Humour? -- James., Sun, 13 Sep 2009, 17:43:10 (21Cust167.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.167)
Yo HANK the W. Instead of carping, why don't you post a better joke and show us you have a sense of humour?
[Edit]
artist -- hank, Sun, 13 Sep 2009, 2:37:05 (host-72-175-125-231.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/72.175.125.231)
Even for you, that is pathetic.
[Edit]
. -- Ray, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 22:35:00 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Hi Pam,
How about..
An artist holds an art show to sell her paintings.
She goes out to lunch and when she gets back her assistant tells her she has good news and bad news.
Your doctor bought all your paintings.
And the bad news?
He asked if your paintings will go up in value. I said somewhat but after your death they could easily quadruple in value.
[Edit]
Weekend humour -- Pam, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 12:30:00 (d24-150-28-95.home.cgocable.net/24.150.28.95)
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.'
[Edit]
Tri Nations -- Jo Pete, Sat, 12 Sep 2009, 10:36:43 (vc-41-28-4-85.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.28.4.85)
Yo BT. Salute the Clutchplates. Tri Nations champions 2009. How often arwe the All Blacks beaten by a team 3 times on the trot?
[Edit]
Looking for an old friend -- Jan van Gelder, Fri, 11 Sep 2009, 7:21:06 (proxy01.mel.iprimus.net.au/210.50.228.4)
I am looking for an old friend and workmate who was stationed as I was at the LLEWELLIN BARRACKS RHASC ARMY SERVICE CORPS.
His name is: ARISTOFOLIS KATOUNGOUS and his wife MARGARET.
I was godfather to one of his children at the ceremony at the Greek Orthodox Church in Bulawayo.
If anybody remembers him or his wife and there whereabouts please let me know at my e-mail address.
Thanks
Jan van Gelder
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Thanks -- Jimbo, Fri, 11 Sep 2009, 2:02:06 (220-253-113-24.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.113.24)
Thanks for the info dawie. Frank and Val's daughter is Hazel your old drunken mate Pete's shamwari. They used to farm south of Hatfield on the other side of New Sarum. Good people.
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Best lottery? -- James, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 21:50:35 (21Cust93.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.93)
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Best 'lottery' in my opinion is the Brit Premium Bonds one.
The interest goes to make the monthly prizes and there is a million quid win once a month. Usual wins are £50. But the great thing is, you can get your original wager back in full at any time! You canna beat that kind of gamble. Winnings are tax free and you can hold up to £30,000.
Bonds are sold in units of £100. Anyone can buy them but I have a feeling that one needs to pay using funds drawn against a UK bank. Until the recent recession which has affected the prize money available I was winning a dozen times a year which is the statistical average for wins considering the amount of bonds I hold.
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dawie in zim -- dawie, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 12:36:55 (vc-41-26-187-212.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.187.212)
jimbo ja fred died of cancer but frank is still alive liveing in harare i met his wife about 2 years back and said he still had the plot in greendale i think it was. that old mann is still running was there a few weeks back iam up on monday for a week any one want some pics shout.
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MSL -- bill, Thu, 10 Sep 2009, 5:30:37 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
Massachusetts lottery games are open to all, you don't have to be a resident of the state.
These are the games:
Megabucks Doubler are drawn two times a week (Wednesday & Saturday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $100 (104 drawings)
Mass Cash is Drawn 3 times a week (Tuesday, Friday & Sunday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $150 (156 drawings)
Cash Winfall is drawn 2 times a week (Monday & Thursday) 1 Year Season Ticket = $200 (104 drawings)
All draws at 11:20pm
Season Tickets can be purchased via phone from out of state
Season Tickets Line 1-800-222-8587 (Business Hours Local Time)
http://www.masslottery.com/games/seasontickets.html
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. -- Ray, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 16:22:08 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
At 09.16 hours on 7 Aug, 1943, the Umvuma (Master John Newby Gibson), dispersed from convoy DN-54, was hit by one G7e stern torpedo from U-181 and sank after 11 minutes southwest of Port Louis, Mauritius. 17 crew members, one gunner and four passengers were lost. The master, 72 crew members, eight gunners and eight passengers were picked up by the salvage tug Maurice and landed at Port Louis.
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. -- Ray, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 15:55:44 (NoHost/66.251.102.206)
Sorry Ant, the only Umvuma with chimney picture on google is this one:
http://www.photoship.co.uk/JAlbum%20Ships/Old%20Ships%20U/slides/Umvuma-01.html
Doesnt look like it has much vuma tho'
Hi James welcome back.
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I knew him well -- Jimbo, Tue, 08 Sep 2009, 0:22:15 (220.253-233-229.VIC.netspace.net.au/220.253.233.229)
Ja dawie I remember Fred Sweet very well, foreman of the Binding Dept. at Mardons, and Frank Edmonstone's boss (JoPete for your info). Fred and Frank used to make life as difficult as possible for me when I was a lightie chasing up jobs. I think we had a few f... you sessions. Good foreman though. I think Fred also went the way of the bigC.
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27 beers -- dawie, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 19:13:20 (vc-41-7-161-217.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.7.161.217)
joe pete 27 beers not counting the ones at the lion and elephant hotel if the powers on and they cold. iam in cape town tonight everytime i come here its cold and raining terrible place to live. the building in green piont and sea point have come on for the 2010 hey and they have cleaned the place iam with an old printer buddy chris sweet ex of harare and mardons think jimbo knew his old man fred. chris is recovering from cancer his too stupid not too so off for beers and jowel with him . dawie
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Chimkuyu -- Jo Pete, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 14:50:36 (41-208-48-160.mtn.co.za/41.208.48.160)
Yo BT. Jou Gat not sure about that particular chimkuyu. Whilst resident in Lalapanzi I stopped there often en route to Harare. It was the only place to buy food that wouldn't kill you. Nonetheless it was definitely made out of donkey. Thing is Mvuma is about 25 beers from Beit Bridge. Undoubtedly this has affected Dawie's judgement.
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China Safari -- Bob, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 10:07:32 (macanp1.lnk.telstra.net/203.45.105.55)
The authors of the book, China Safari: On the Trail of Beijing's Expansion in Africa, say that the Chinese have turned a blind eye to the poverty, Aids and wars in Africa and are instead building restaurants, dams, infrastructure and even TV stations. So is China transforming Africa?
Guests
Serge Michel
Freelance Journalist
Publications
Title: China Safari: On the Trail of Beijing's Expansion in Africa
Author: Serge Michel and Michel Beuret
Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
listen now | download audio
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/saturdayextra/
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DAWIE -- Ant Brooks, Mon, 07 Sep 2009, 4:41:05 (adsl-144-228-117.aby.bellsouth.net/70.144.228.117)
A picture would be appreciated. murungu@mindspring.com
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Howzit BT -- John W, Sun, 06 Sep 2009, 22:55:18 (adlgw1.baulderstone.com.au/203.37.164.2)
Umvuma chimney was also used for target practice by the Gooks.
dawie it's good to see you can still get good chimkuyu on the roadside stall at Umvuma.
TTFN
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What have I been missing? -- James, Sat, 05 Sep 2009, 15:28:11 (21Cust106.tnt1.toronto.on.da.uu.net/216.95.14.106)
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Hello Ray, Hello Jimbo and other good pals! Been away for a couple of months and wondered what I had missed. My Kind Regards to you.
Just checking the waters, as it were, I typed in 'Hank' in the 'Search' gadget and it only found 1 entry but a huge pile of 'tHANKS' - is the machine trying to tell me I ought to be grateful that he is now but a wisp?
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Umvuma Chimney -- Jo Pete, Sat, 05 Sep 2009, 7:10:46 (vc-41-26-203-237.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.203.237)
Yo BT. What I know about the Umvuma chimney is that it was built in the early 20th century by artisans from UK, especially imported for the job. It was for the roasting plant at the newly opened Atens Mine.I was always told as a Gwelo kid that the chimney was within kess than a mile of the exact geographical centre of Rhodesia. Looking at a map now I do not think that this is correct.
As far as I know it is still a national monument and has been for many years.
It was used by the RRAF as a waypoint in cross country exercises. Pilots had to pass the chimney at a precise time. In the 90's the top was quite severly damaged by lightening. This has obviously caused the collapse of the top of the chimney. When I lived in Lalapanzi I would pass the chimney weekly en route to Harare or Masvingo/Beit Bridge.
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. -- ray, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 19:19:06 (adsl-76-240-82-58.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net/76.240.82.58)
Hank be nice now or I will toss a piece of chromium ore I got from Petes mine on your roof (sinkplaat I presume) in the middle of the night.
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Umvuma -- hank, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 14:11:33 (host-69-144-201-162.static.bresnan.net/69.144.201.162)
Ant, don't expect a "short" history from JouHoPete, after all he built the blerry thing, operated the smelter and bliksemed it a couple of years ago. (He built Kariba at the same time, working late into the night.)
pip pip.
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Just for Jo Pete -- BOB, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 12:15:09 (mk-airlines-rtr-e1.hiway.co.uk/195.12.0.225)
Never let it be forgotten that it was the British Left who gave succour to the monstrous Mr Mugabe
Robert Mugabe will not go quietly.
Tyrants never do.
But it no longer seems absurdly optimistic to suppose that the long domination of Zimbabwe by this evil man may gradually be drawing to a close.
Now, of course, everyone agrees he is a monster.
How could it be otherwise?
David Milliband, the Foreign Secretary, was yesterday full of righteous anger in the Commons against this dictator who has ruined his country and tried to fix the elections (again).
Who could have guessed that until recently this appalling person was succoured by successive British Governments?
In 1994 he received an honorary knighthood from the Queen on the recommendation of the then Tory government.
Beast: Robert Mugabe has left Zimbabwe, once Africa's breadbasket, starving and ruined
Dear Robert. What a faithful friend to Britain he has been.
The Foreign Office is particularly expert at doling out baubles to despots.
Nicolae Ceausescu, the communist ruler of Romania for many years, was guilty of numerous crimes against humanity.
The Queen was required to invite him to stay at Buckingham Palace, and to bestow an honorary knighthood on him, though he was subsequently stripped of the honour.
Oh, but the FO's mandarins will say, Robert Mugabe used to be a good chap.
This is not true. He has always been a bad chap.
In 1982, two years after winning power, he sent the notorious North Korean-trained Fifth brigade into southern Zimbabwe, where they killed untold thousands of Matabele.
But the victims weren't white, you see, so we could go on being friends with Robert.
And how we did!
In 1984, the Tory government sold him lots of Hawk fighter aeroplanes, which were later used in an illegal war in the Congo.
As recently as the year 2000, Tony Blair personally decided that Britain should supply spare parts for these aircraft.
This was after Mr Mugabe had already embarked on the illegal seizure of white-owned farms, which he has handed out to his cronies who do not have much interest in, or knowledge of, farming. The upshot has been near starvation.
Then there were the 1,500 Land Rover Defenders sold at half price to the Zimbabwean government during the mid-1990s for use by the police.
What a very useful addition these have proved to be, as the police have attacked squatters or suppressed demonstrations or shut down independent newspapers or indulged in a spot of torture. I am not aware that HMG has ever conceded that selling these vehicles to Robert at a knock-down price may have been even a slight mistake.
Let's not pin all the blame on the Foreign Office, though.
Mr Mugabe had his fans on the Left of British politics even when his gallant "freedom fighters" were raping nuns and killing civilians in the "liberation war" of the 1970s.
Shameful: Tony Benn, an icon of the Left, gleefully endorsed Mugabe despite his soldiers' record of rape and torture
Because he was opposed by Ian Smith and the white settlers, regarded on the Left as the epitome of evil, the occasional lapses of his spirited boys in the bush were generally overlooked.
When he was returned by a huge majority in 1980 in British-sponsored elections, many in the liberal media were delighted.
The then abrasively Left-wing Tony Benn (today rebranded as the nation's cuddly grandad) wrote rapturously in his diaries that he "could not remember anything giving me so much pleasure for a long time".
Not even the massacres in Matabeleland really shook the confidence of his admirers on the Left.
The BBC, which had covered Ian Smith's much less shocking excesses in assiduous detail, largely ignored Mr Mugabe's genocide against his own people.
Even now it is seldom referred to, no doubt because it explodes the myth that Mr Mugabe used to be a good guy.
Even someone as normally thoroughly sensible as John Humprhys (a former BBC correspondent in Zimbabwe) was able to say in an aside on Radio Four's Today Programme earlier this week that when he assumed power Mr Mugabe was not a bad man.
He was.
If he has got worse in recent years as he grew reckless, the proof of his badness was always there.
This blindness to his obvious faults had its roots in colonial guilt, and the Left's hatred of the white settlers in what was then called Rhodesia.
Because Mugabe was their enemy, he must be a decent chap.
So the thinking went - if it can be characterised as thinking - and continued even when he soon started killing his own people.
If Mr Mugabe should be forced to stand down in the next few days or weeks, I shall rejoice.
Certainly, I would not be starry-eyed about Morgan Tsvangirai, the man who has beaten him squarely in the presidential and parliamentary elections, but there must be cause for hope that, with financial assistance from the West, he will be able to lead Zimbabwe back towards something like its former prosperity.
But in these (I pray) dying days of the monster Mugabe, when he stands in the way of the hopes of most Zimbabweans, we should not forget the support he has received over the years not just from British governments but also from many on the Left.
Nor should we be taken in by the lie that he was once an heroic and praiseworthy figure who just happens to have been corrupted by too much power.
And I also hope that, whatever settlement may be possibly hammered out between him and Mr Tsvangirai, Mr Mugabe will not be allowed to retire, as though there were nothing amiss, to the grotesque 25-bedroom mansion he has built for himself in a Harare suburb at the expense of his impoverished people.
Slobodan Milosevic, the former Serbian dictator, was required to stand trial in the Hague, charged with crimes against humanity.
Saddam Hussein was subjected to a more brutal process in an Iraqi court, and hanged.
Though he is 84, and possibly not very long for this world, Robert Mugabe should not be spared exhaustive investigation.
The charges he must face include: genocide against the Matabele people in the early 1980s; the systematic use of torture in countless instances; the illegal seizure of property; the suppression of a free Press; corruption and the misuse of State funds; and fixing at least two elections.
That should keep investigators occupied, whether at the war crimes tribunal in the Hague or elsewhere, for a considerable time.
You can bet that no restitution will be offered to the families of civilians in the Congo who have been killed by Britishmade aircraft, or to Zimbabweans mistreated by police using British-donated Land Rovers, but the British Government can at least deprive him of his honorary knighthood, which should never have been bestowed in the first place.
What a shaming episode this has been.
Throughout his 27-year rule, Robert Mugabe has been cosseted and petted by successive governments. All this indulgence did not prevent him from ruining his country. It helped him to achieve his ends.
He still clings to power, but the British Government and the Left may soon have the opportunity to atone for appalling past misjudgments of this evil man by ensuring that he pays for the terrible crimes he has committed.
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fallen off -- dawie, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 7:53:51 (vc-41-26-36-139.umts.vodacom.co.za/41.26.36.139)
dont know about the history but the top of the umvuma chim has fallen off. there is still a mine there and in the last three years has grown some what well the buidings around the shaft that is. take a pic next week if you want ant and send it to you. theres a small biltong shop about five kilos down the road on the harare road always stop there the farmer does not know the price of tong sells it for nothing all game tho. gets even with the price of a coke tho.
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Umvuma chimney -- Ant Brooks, Fri, 04 Sep 2009, 3:23:00 (adsl-217-200-247.aby.bellsouth.net/68.217.200.247)
Howzit Jo-Pete
Can you give a short history about the chimney on the hill outside Umvuma?
Cheers
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Canada -- Wens, Thu, 03 Sep 2009, 8:56:27 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Ja quite a story about this in SA. I say good luck to the guy.
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