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Lost son at 2 months and 1 week -- Shandi Hunter, 21:49:34 10/31/05 Mon
On April 1st, 2005 I had a wounderful, handsom, little baby boy. He was the center of my world. He was born into this world 3 and 1/2 months early. I had toxcemia, preeclampsia, along with HELLP syndrome. He had made it through kidney dialasis surgery at only 20 days old. In June the doctors found that his intestens had a hole in it. He went in for surgery on the 7th of June at 11:00 p.m. The doctor was to remove the part with the hole. He was having complications. On the 8th he had to go in for another surgery early in the morning. Around 1 o'clock that afternoon the doctor told me that his heart rate was falling. His chance of surviving was slim. I preyed like I never had before. At 2 o'clock I removed the life support. He was already gone. He was with God. At 2:14 he was pronounced dead. I held him the entire time, untill after he was pronounced dead. I gave him a bath, which was only the third for me. I dressed him, and walked him down to the cornors office. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. Deep down in my heart I knew that he wouldnt want anyone else to do it. One of the hardest things that I deal with is the fact that I gave concent for the surgery. Also that I gave concent for the removel of the life support. It has only been 5 months since his death. He would have been 7 months old. I cry more and more and no one knows it. He was in the hospital the entire time. I am having trouble dealing with this. I am so angery with God at times it is unreal. I was only 17. I have dealt with a lot for my age. No one really knows how I feel. If someone can relate please reply. It will be much appreciated. Thanks So Much Please prey for me and my family to get through this hard time.
In Rememberance of my angel, Nanthaniel Michael Hunter
WE LOVE AND MISS YOU DEARLY, MOMMY WISHES SHE WERE WITH YOU. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. YOU ARE THE CENTER OF MY WORLD, MY LITTLE SWEET PEA!
:~(my little angel -- Melissa, 17:36:46 07/04/05 Mon
I just lost my baby last week at only 6 weeks. It's the worst feeling that I've ever felt. It was my first child and I don't know how to go on. Everyone says that I can try again or it's for the best, but I don't feel that way. All I want to do is join my baby in heaven and feel the happiness that I felt when I was pregnant. How do I get past the crying and the anger of having something so wonderful taken from me so suddenly?
:~(my angel above -- sharee, 18:51:16 10/27/05 Thu
I am still grieving over the loss of my only daughter who died from med. malpractise. she was only 9yrs old when she left us alone with her 2 brothers who at the time where 4 and 6 its been 7yrs now and a new brother came along who is now 16mos old. how do you still go on and remember? how do you go on and tell your youngest (when its time) that he lost a sister that he will never get to see? I cry all the time now. its prpbably due to close of the holidays. any suggestions?
I lost my beautiful 11 year daughter -- virginia sanchez, 21:09:47 04/07/06 Fri
I can understand everybody about the same feeling. My daughter died on Feb,16, 2006 not even 2 months,,,and for me is like yesterday...i miss her so much...I know she is in heaven but I cry because I miss her...my heart is broke and never will be the same,,I hace 3 more kids one boy 19 and 12 and a wonderful daughther 9 years...I need to hide to be able to cry..I still thinking this is not real..she will be here...please pray for me and my family...this kind of pain only God knows why we need it...God bless all of you ....my e mail email@example.com if will like to share feelings..
:~(Missin my baby girl Sam -- Tammy, 10:41:46 02/12/06 Sun
I lost my baby girl on June 12 1998 it was my very first funeral never dreamed it would be my child. I really miss her and feel i should be further along in my greif now but it feels like i just lost her yesterday i need a friend someone that has been through the same thing i have it feels like no one understands me and when i try to talk about her they just change the subject. I have done tried to overdose cause i want to be with her it's been 2 years since i done that no thoughts on it as of right now. She will be 8 yrs old this year and i have had another baby since Samantha. It's hard to raise another baby and give that baby the love she needs when you're still grieving over the baby in heaven. I even find myself calling Brittney by Samantha's name it's it really hurts me. My daughter now says that she plays with Samantha when she doesn't have anyone to play with. Brittney has her own little personallity. She was born premature weighing opposite of Samantha (Sam was 5 lbs 4ozs and Britt was 4 lbs 5 ozs) When she first said mama(first word) i cried cause i never got to hear Samantha say it. I feel sometimes that Britt has some of Sam in her. Me and my husband just bought a house and we had an extra room so he let me make it Samantha's room it's helps sometimes i just sit there like quiet time. Britt one day was in that room and i heard her crying i went into the room and she was looking through Samantha's box that i have with her stuff in it and she had Samantha's birthstone ring on her finger holding it. That's why i feel like she is some part of Samantha. My Britt has red hair(fire red and temper too) and baby blue eyes i said the whole time i was pregnant with her i hope she has blue eyes(got my wish on that too). Britt even told me that Sam had blue eyes like her(i never saw Sam's eyes). I know that i shouldn't be comparing Britt to Sam but it's just like something is there I don't know what it is. So if anyone can help please email me. I want to stop comparing. Tammy
How to cope with multiple losses??? -- kristi, 22:46:14 10/26/05 Wed
as i sit here trying to type everything i want to say i just keep wiping the tears wondering if they will ever dry?? and i will apologize in advance for this being so mumbled together as i am not a very good writer.This past June on fathers day my 15 year old son Britt and my 13 year old nephew Nick died of accidental drownings in a local parks small pond.they took their younger brothers 9 and 10 to go fishing when they decided to get into the water to race across both of them got to the middle and did not make it out.we dont know why and we probably never will as the pond was only approx 150 ft across.I feel so lost and alone even though,i have many people supporting me,they just dont understand what its like to lose children,,,i say lose children because not only have i lost my son and nephew ,,also in june, and one day before on the 18th but in 1991, i lost a son as he was born still.to make this all worse Britt died on the 19th and he was born on the 19th of the month in January he was exactly 15 years and 5 months old..i miss all of these boys so much,,and i just dont understand why out of the 4 children i have had,, 2 of them have been taken from me plus my 13 year old nephew,,,what do you say to people when they ask how many children you have???how do you explain these tragedies to the living children who dont truly understand why they were taken??all of these questions i used to think i could somehwat answer beings i have had a stillborn child as well as the tragedy on fathers day..and at times i feel so guilty for not feeling like i grieve my stillborn son as much as i do Britt ,,but i also realize more time has passed and i had the pleasure of being able to mother britt for 15 years as where i only got to hold my stillborn child for a few minutes not that i love either one of them any differently ,,it is two totally different experiences for me,,,i am so confused as to what some of the feelings i have really are...i have become numb and feel as if i am not being the mother i want to be to my two living children who are a girl 13,and a boy 9,,,i guess only time will tell for me but ,,i have endured alot but i am still in no way an expert on this awful hurt we all feel,but,if someone needs a friend or someone who truly knows what you are feeling please feel free to write.the loss of a child is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to endure,,but,,we all must remember our angels have no more heartache and pain from this ,at times, cruel world we live in and we will all sooner or later be reunited with our chosen children and we will ALWAYS have the wonderful memories our little ones have given us, not one person ,or thing, can ever take those from us!!,,,,,,,,,
in loving memory of my boys
ALWAYS LOVING,ALWAYS LOVED,FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS!!!!
:-)Miscarriage-May2,1996-(We love you&Miss you) -- baby edge-May2,1996, 15:42:37 11/28/05 Mon
My dearest angel mommy&Daddy loves you &misses you with all our hearts.I was eight weeks pregnant when you died.Don't know what happened or the cause of your death but it took a piece of my heart with it.You were suppose too be born on December6,1996.You would have been ten years old this December.But God needed you in his beautiful angel garden instead.I wanted so much too hold you and cradle you in my arms.But it wasn't meant too be.Were still praying for another angel to come into our lives.Your aunts and uncles love you and miss you also.Grandma&Grandpa will take care of you until we get home.also my brother or sister who died between my brother and me.I miss them as well.I am still thinking about you each and everyday my baby.Go play and we will join you later.Love always Mommy&Daddy
New Angel in heaven -- Dawn Juliano, 05:47:13 11/28/05 Mon
The world needed a a bit of help and one more angel, so he came an took her by the hand, November 4, 2005,at 4 month plus, our daughter, Kaitlyn Heather was guided to the heavens,and she is now watching over us, guiding us through this very tought time. Her passing, is a day We will never forget, but a tree of life is growing in her honor. I pray everyday, and I hope the lord above blesses us with onother chils, but our beloved will never be replaced! We love you wee one!! Love MOM & DAD
Miscarriage-May2,1996 -- debra&Alan Edge, 20:07:01 11/26/05 Sat
Our dearest angel we love you and miss you with all our hearts.Its been ten years now and the pain doesn't get any better.I don't know if you were a boy or girl but the good Lord knows but we know you are in alot better place and that you don't have too suffer any more.Mommy and Daddy loves you very very much and always will.We lost you at 8 weeks of pregnancy.Grandma&Grandpa will take good care of you.You died on May2,1996 and your Grandparents died in 1999.We miss you all very much and waiting for the day when we all can be together again.my email is firstname.lastname@example.org if anyone wants too talk.
:~(My Heaven -- Angel, 22:27:18 01/18/05 Tue
I was pregnant with my second baby and I couldnt be happier. I prayed for it for so long and a week or so before christmas I found out I was. But a very short 6 weeks after I lost my baby from a miscarriage. It has been one of the most hardest things I have ever went through. And reading this msg board my heart goes out to everyone who has lost a child. Everyone says looseing a child at 6 weeks still in the womb should be something I get over easy. Buts its not. I feel alone and I want more than anythign to be in heaven with my baby. I hope there is someone out there can be sum kind of support.
i lost my stillborn baby girl -- Tammy Sloan, 03:23:14 10/30/05 Sun
on june 30, 2000, i delived the most beautiful and precious little girl into the world after only 26 1/2 weeks in the womb. Aimee maree never took a breath on this earth, i pray every day that she is safe in heaven. She would be 5 now, and still the pain doesn't get any easier. does it ever? can someone please tell me because even though we have two beautiful children now, there is still a huge emptiness in my life. please contact me if you have been through something similar. It seems like nobody here understands.
:~(Lost my son Brent, age 25 -- Donna Lawlis, 12:09:28 08/04/05 Thu
My husband and I lost our youngest son (we had 2) on May20, 2005. The pain is so sharp and I think most of the time I won't make it through the day. He died in his sleep with a heart attack. He was supposed to graduate college this summer. He was in pre-law. Spoke spanish fluently (even though his parents can't) loved everyone and everyone he met loved him.
Death seems so cruel. How do we make it through this? We are going to grieving classes, but it seems I take 2 steps forward and 3 back at times.
:~(MY BIG BORTHER IS GONE..... -- Amanda, 12:44:40 12/19/04 Sun
my big brother was killed in october. he birthday was december 15 2004, he would have been 21. im righting because my mom reath needs some one to talk to. no one eles truly nos how she feels. PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE FOR HER TO TALK TO. PLEASE RIGH BACK TO ME AND I WILL ELT YOU NO EVERYTHING AND HOW TO EMIAL HER...THANKS!
Our Children originally posted by Karen -- El, 14:37:35 11/15/05 Tue
How right you are - this hell on earth! Time will never erase the pain, the grief which comes from somewhere so very deep inside. Anyone who has not suffered the death of a child cannot possibly understand - we all lose our grand parents, then our parents - it's THE order, it's sad but it's natural - but not a child! no one should ever have to experience the passing of their child, not matter what their age. How can u 'pick yourself up' 'get on with your life' 'about time you...' NOTHING will ever be the same because that child is missing. Missing from your world but not missing from your heart. The empty bedroom, the toys not touched, the clothes in the cupboard - never to be washed again, the shoes never to be worn again - total emptiness engulfs your heart. Knowing they will never feel the sun on their face, the rain on their head, the snow underfoot....... why do we carry on? I have absolutely no idea - can we? can I - I don't know!
All the things you do from the moment you know you are pregant - you nurture - eat the right foods - don't drink or smoke - make so many plans... then, it's constantly on the watch - don't touch that it will hurt you, don't do that its dangerous - teach them to swim so they don't drown, teach them road safety and, how to ride a bike, play ball, be kind to animals and other people - all this and so much more BUT, you don't have to teach them how to love.... why?.....
Are this rantings from a mum so bereft - probably....
my precious Elijah -- Becca, 16:54:37 04/27/05 Wed
my husband and I lost our son on Feb 1,2005. Our son was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy on Jan 7,2005 and we were told we had 3-6 months but we didnt even get one month. Our son was at home surrounded by people that loved him when he passed. This has been the hardest thing to live with because I no longer get to see my son's beautiful blue eyes and big smile and I will never get to hold him in my arms again. Just pray that it will get a little easier to bear because i'll never get over having to watch my son die and know that there wasnt anything i could do to make it better.
My Second Son -- Lynn Smith, 05:31:23 10/06/05 Thu
On Aug.21,2004 I lost my second son in a car accident,he went to sleep while driving. He called me three times the day before to see what I was doing and to tell me he loved,if only I had of known it would have been the last time I would here his voice,to talk to him,to tell him I loved him. We were suppose to have my only grandsons' B-Day party on Sat.Aug.21 @ 2pm and instead we were sitting in the funeral home planning my son's funeral at that time. I believe God gave me signs all of Jason'life and I never saw them and now it's to late. It's so hard to talk to people I know because I'm afraid they'll say something about the accident so I hide from the people that was once my friends. The pain is so bad,I would have never dreamed that people live with pain like this. I had a four sons but the last one was stillborn and that pain was nothing like the pain of losing a child you loved for 27 years,sometimes I feel like maybe God is punishing me for not hurting enough from my last one so he took my Jason.
I still have two sons still here but when I look into there eyes and see their pain that I can't make go away and the hurt goes on. Jason use to joke with me that he would always be my baby and I was suppose to take care of him and now I feel I felled him,I always told him that a Mother always knows when her child needs them the most and I would always know and be there but the day he left this world I didn't know,I didn't have a clue it was like any other day but that's the day my life changed for ever and will never be the samr again.
:~(I need someone to talk to -- Mary Newberry, 18:31:32 03/19/05 Sat
I really need your prayer. My 2 1/2 month old son passed away from SIDS on march 1, 2005. It hurts so bad. I feel like i'm going CRAZY. I'm scared to death, that he is coming to get me because i let him die. PLEASE HELP!
:~(I lost my 2yr old to a doctors mistake -- Melinda Simon, 16:38:35 02/11/05 Fri
I lost my son on Dec.31,2004 Devin Thomas Simon Born Nov7,2002. He was diagnosed with Idiopathic Epilepsy at 4 month old. He was put on a medication not recomended for use in children younger than 2, when he was 8 months old and was on it untill the day he passed. The last increase in meds was toxic. I have an empty hole in mychest that hurts and I would really like to find some one to talk to.
my mommy needs to be strong. -- kylee woodward, 09:42:37 10/01/04 Fri
i lost my baby sister three months ago to sudden infant death syndrome when she was two months old. my mom will have to pack up all her clothes soon because we are moving. she will also have to pick out a head stone some day. please pray for her.
:~(The loss of my only child -- Renee Gray, 10:46:20 10/17/04 Sun
I feel as though I have been buried alive. I had only one child, and I lost my beautiful son of 19 years on June 19th, 2004, due to an accident. I had been a single parent from the time he was 10 mos. old. He was the only grandchild of my parent and the joy of their world. He was adored by my only sister, whom has never married. Our world has been ripped apart. We made John the center of our lives. He would tell his friends that his mom was his best-friend. I don't know what to do without him. I have closed myself off from the world. I have never in my life felt such pain and hurt. I miss my baby boy so much.
Please, I need someone that understands what I am feeling to help me. Thank you and keep me in all your prayers.
Remembering my beautiful son, John Ethan.
Oo.Zane, Lola, Nate, Helen, Oola and my 4 other unnames babies I do this in Rememberance on you. -- Brie Darnall, 23:43:33 10/23/05 Sun
I have had 9 miscarriages in 10 years due to a chromasone abnormality. My first loss was after being raped at age 14. My last was on April 25th, 2005. My heart aches for my babies and I know that one day I will see them in heaven. On September 27th, 2005 I had a tubal ligation after getting a second and third opinion from specialists. By being able to grieve my losses and accept them, I am able to have hope for my future, I am no longer in dispair. Zane, Lola, Nate, Helen, Oola and my four other babies who remain nameless except in the eyes of God I will remember you today and forever. May God bless you and keep you.
My angel and angel twin -- Colleen, 21:31:57 10/18/05 Tue
My second child Nathalie (I named her to make me feel better) died due to a ectopic pregnancy. I felt shattered and to make things worse, people including my family were like "you have one, what is your problem". She would have been 7 years old on July 23rd.
It took three years and a ton of infertilty tests to get pregnant again. We were so excited and then to find out it was twins. We thought God was giving us back our baby. That was not the case, they turned out to be identical twins (that is me, not the fertilty drugs) and they had Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. Morgan died in utero in the second trimester and it became a fight to save Meghan. She is healthy and doing well. She turned 5 years old on July 12th. Again I got, "you at least have one of them, what is your problem". My attitude towards that is you have two arms, cut off one. "You still have one arm, what is your problem". Bad attitude I realize, but it makes me sad and angry to have my precious angels blown off like they do not count.
I can also no longer have anymore children, we tried for five years. It did not work. Due to family cancer history I had to have a complete hysterectomy two months ago.
I thought I was handling things pretty well, until Meghan started Kindergarten. There are identical twin boys in her class and she is asking why they have each other and why Morgan died. My oldest remembers Nathalie and Morgan both. Now she is asking as well. It is bringing it all back with a flood of emotion I do not know how to handle. I am looking for support and suggestions, I need to know I am not alone and that I can get through this.
Christine -- Stella, 20:42:39 05/13/05 Fri
It's been fifteen years since she died in utero in the eighth month. Nobody remembers; nobody talks about it. I almost forget, and then my body remembers. I start to go into a depression and at first I don't know what it's about. Then it hits me: it's May, almost the 16th. I don't know the exact day she died, just that they took her from me on the 16th. It still haunts me to think she died inside of me, the one place she should have been safe.
It's been fifteen years...and suddenly I'm crying my eyes out. Thank you for this website. I wanted to cry but my eyes felt frozen until right now. Thank you again. This moment is a gift from God, who I know, also cried with me. However, I do know for certain that this child was born in heaven and one day I will see her and hold her.
fly my angel -- corinne, 19:59:33 10/12/05 Wed
Happy Birthday My dear Matthew 24 years old left us all just 4 months ago, six years ago you lost you ability to walk and run on that sunny summer day on a week before your last year at high school, what a big future you had with your ability in sports. But little did any of us know the real hero you became in the fight to live and go on with life with all the stuggles you faced, my love you never were a burden as you thought at times, my son it was an honor and i thank you today for teaching me more then i could have ever taught you in a life time, my precious young beautiful, funny loving man run, laugh, jump, and sing through the clouds we all miss and love you forever my child,,,,mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Dannyboy -- linda, 18:29:40 06/23/05 Thu
I lost my 21 year old son due to a snowmobile accident he was only 21 18 days. He would of graduated from college this year he is the love of my life my bestfriend I don't know how I will ever go on without him my life my family my whole world stopped on January 24,2005. I have a 15 year old daughter who I adore I feel so bad for her because I will never be the mom I use to be. If not for her I would join my son in a second. My life is nothing but pain and saddness. I miss him so much.
:~(loss of stillborn son -- Amy Frawley, 09:37:53 08/04/04 Wed
Hi, I'm a 22 year old mother who lost a son. He was carried for 7 1/2 months only to be born lifeless with the cord around his neck. Doctors tell me and my fiance that it wasn't our fault but it still feels like it though. We are trying to help each other and be there for each other but there is only so much we can do for one another. We both cannot sleep for fear of nightmares and in my case fear of seeing his angelic face all over again. i'm living a constant nightmare wishing that somehow i'll wake up and i'll have my little ethan. But i remember that this is real life and there is no rewind button or erase button. And i just keep reliving that day over and over again. and it feels like i'm slowly dying inside. I know i have to be strong for the son i do have but i can't help being filled with loss and greif. So if anyone can help me i would really appreciate it. even if it is just to talk through emails. I would grately appreciate all of the support i can get. Thanks.
Ethan -- Dawn, 09:58:16 10/07/05 Fri
I'm the mother of an angel baby named Ethan ,He came into the world a wounderful gift from God , He was only here 70 days but he touched so many ,and God's love was all over him . THis is in memory of my sweet baby Ethan . I love you !
Ethan was born on April 29/2005 he weighed 1 pound 6 ounces he faught for 70 days untill God took him home on july 9th /2005 . He had an infection in his intestines that was too bad to fix after trying with several surgerys .
Ethan was the best thing that ever happened to me im so proud of him .
I would love to talk with other mothers of angels please e-mail me if you need me ,Love Dawn Ethans Mom
memorial -- claire hinchliffe, 01:44:36 09/30/05 Fri
my daughter was born still due to a cord accident i have lived my worst nightmare i am living my worst nightmare i will never get over her she was perfect i miss her everyday there is not a single day that goes by when i dont think of her or shed any tears she was born on 17.6.05 weighing 1lb 6oz.
:~(you have to go on -- Marjorie Curtis, 21:10:59 09/24/05 Sat
I to have a child to,he past away Feb 21/03,at first I didn't want to go on,but I had two other chidren that I had to be there for.I'm having a hard time coping with his death,like you are,no one understands,I can't talk to family because I'm afraid I'll upset them,I try to be strong for everyone.I miss him so much,I have a hard time coping sometimes and I feel I'm not there for my other two children,but I can't seem to snap out of it.I tryed to keep busy,I went to work and everything,but it seem to just compound the problem.i feel like I'm all alone,It would be nice to have someone to talk to who was going through the samething I was.Maybe we can help each other
:~(Lost a baby -- Regina Thompson, 14:42:13 05/26/05 Thu
I just lost a baby May 20th 2005. It was born with the cord around it's neck. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. I really wanted this baby because I'm 42 and have no children. I did cry a lot at first. Now I'm angry because I feel that it's not fair. We named the boy Junan after my Mother in law that's in a nursing home. Her name is June. I've been praying to God to give me Strength. I feel a little better. When I wake up in the morning I feel so sad because the baby's not here. I was 36 weeks when I noticed that the baby hadn't moved much. I think when the baby dropped and was ready to be born the cord got tighter. Me and my husband want to try to have another one in a few months. I know that another baby will never replace this one. Even though the baby died I still felt that closeness after I had him. He'll always be my Angel baby.
:~(So Very Sad -- Mary St. John, 10:28:35 11/02/04 Tue
I lost my son a little over two years ago and I am in so much pain. He was 19 years old and he died of a medication interaction I found him in my bed and he had been gone for several hours. TThe shock of finding him was such a shock. A shock that I don't think that I'll ever get over. I had support at the time of the services but that all went away in a few weeks. I do have a daughter that lives with me. She doesn't even understand at times. I sleep with some of his clothes under my pillow since he has passed away. I miss him so much and feel so alone. My sisters don't understand. They think I should be over it by now and getting on with my life. I had to go into a psychiatric hospital for 3 months after he died. I had a completer nervous breakdown. Nobody seem to be able to understand what a terrible tragedy I have been through. I guess you can't understand unless you have been through it. My daughter gets jealous of my grieving so much for my son. I love her and shes all I have left. MY husband died 5 years ago so it's just the two of us. I would like to meet other mothers who know what I am talking about. I need a friend who can understand. Please help me.
my precious son Michael -- sheri, 20:41:09 09/01/05 Thu
on 6/3/05 my youngest son, at 25 years of age, passed on to be with the GOOD LORD. he suddenly passed a blood clot to his lungs while mowing my mom's grass. he survived three weeks after that. i am very, very blessed to know where he is for a couple of weeks before he died he told me he'd rededicated his life to GOD. i know he's far better off and in a better place, where by the great grace of GOD i'll see him again,but i miss him so very,very much and it hurts so very, very,very much. i have three other grown children- another son David and two daughters Sarah and Necole, as well as 8 grandbabies, 3 stepgrandchildren, three adopted stepgrandchildren ( Michaels fiance Marie's three children- Matthew,David and Kimberly ) and one more on the way. GOD is so good HE has blessed me tremendously. i feel as if i am hanging on by a sliver of a thread and i know it's only by and through GOD's great grace that i am hanging on ! thank you all for obeying GOD by doing all of this. it is bringing alot of comfort ! sometimes i feel as if i cannot handle this - this thing called life and living ! please pray for all who love and miss Michael. he was a great son and a great kid with a heart of gold. he was always trying to help someone. he loved children and was a huge child advocate. he was Mr. fix it ! Mike the mechanic ! Mickey Mouse ! Mikey Ikey ! M & M ! HE WAS (IS) SON, BROTHER, GRANDSON, NEPHEW, COUSIN AND FRIEND ! whenever he drove or rode down the road he'd have to stop whenever someone was broke down. he'd do all he could to help even if it meant spending or giving all he had. in return he only ask they'd do the same whever they saw someone in need. recently my oldest son David went to the store and when he tried to start his truck to leave it hesitated. then two rough looking guys started aproaching him. he felt uncomfortable and tried to wave them off but they kept coming toward him when they reached him they offered to help him but he refused, thanked them telling them he was ok. they persisted talking to him and said " we saw you and just wanted to say thanks " David ask what for and they said for helping them. he told them they were mistaken, they persisted and said he'd stop on the side of the road when they'd ran out of gas. they said he'd gotten them gas, cigarettes and had taken them to a job they were late for. David told them it wasn't him. they persisted it was him only he hadn't had an earring in his ear that day and they rememinded him he was driving a little blue car. then David realized they were talking about his baby brother Michael he drove a blue mustang and he and Mchael looked alot alike, people mistook them for one another quite often. he explained to them they where talking about his baby brother and told them of his passing. they gave their condolences and expressed their shock. long story short that was Michael, he never worried or cared what someone looked like the way he saw it if they needed help he was going to give it !
:~(My beautiful son Ryan -- Angela Firkin, 23:40:17 08/09/05 Tue
In 1986 my son Ryan was born, he was my 2nd child. He was beautiful, but he was not perfect. He was born with a heart disease called tetrology of faillot. He grew so fast and he was such a joy. His older sister Nicole and he used to love to sit and watch MTV video awards. (She was 4, he was 7 months. He did everything early, he rolled over early, at 5 mos he was pulling up to furniture and walking around. He was doing great. The doctors were amazed. Then on the morning of August 9th, 1987 he took sick. By the time we got him to the hospital the next morning, he was unconcious. He never again woke up. They worked all day trying to get his heart to beat properly, but at 8:30 on August 9th, they stopped. 1/2 hour later as I held him in my arms, God took mine and his angel back home!! Its been
18 years this year, and I still hurt on this date. I just wish I could have 1 day with him, to make sure he knew how very special he was and how much his mommy and his family loved him. His sister Nicole, has never forgotten the little brother she had such a little time with. Please my prayers go out to anyone who loses a child, and anyone who ever feels the need to talk to someone who has lived with the pain for a long time, feel free to contact me. It helps talking to someone who really knows how you feel!! God Bless!!
:~(grandparents hurt too -- kathryn rhoades, 14:04:55 05/24/05 Tue
March 28,2005 we lost our little David 17 mo His mommie put down for a nap and when they went to get him he was with Jesus, We know that but our hearts are just broken. Beautiful little fellow with eyes that smiled at you. My heart aches for my daughter,her husband and Steven 5, Caleb 3. I would love to make the pain go away for them. Meme and Pappy are hurting so bad too. No answers he was healthy Pray for us it seems to get worst instead of better. My heart ached as I read the other letters here Thank you
:~(MY FIRST BORN -- KAREN LONG, 11:40:09 11/29/04 Mon
I LOST MY SON DUSTIN MY FIRST BORN OF EIGHT CHILDREN TO A DRUG OVERDOSE WHILE HIS COUSINS LOOKED ON, THEY LEFT MY SONS BODY ON A FILTHY BASEMENT FLOOR FOR 5 HOURS AFTER HE DIED. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT HIM .EVEN WITH MY 7 OTHER CHILDREN HERE ON THIS EARTH I CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT HIM
:~(My Precious Daughter Jen -- BRENDA, 03:55:34 07/29/05 Fri
I miss you, i miss you, i miss you, you were my best freind, my sounding board, my daughter, i miss our shopping trips, i miss the way we would laugh until our sides hurt, i miss going to lunch and stuffing ourselves and still ordering a sundae.i miss calling you 5 times a day, i miss seeing you every day, i miss you coming over and telling me
what was going on in your world and you taking the time to listen to what was going on in mine. i miss your big bright smile and your long curly hair and your big browm eyes and your beautiful hands, and i miss how you made the whole house smell so fresh when you came in, how could this have happened? you were only 27 and were going to have your 2nd child , my 2nd grandchild, no one should ever have to feel the pain of losing a child, it just should not work that way, and losing my grandchild along with you is just more than i can bare. I know you are watching over your son, he miss's you so much and we are all trying to make this as easy for him as we can, he keeps the pictures of you and him next to his bed and looks at them every night. He just finished baseball and will start basketball in a month or so, i know his birthday is going ot be very hard for him because you always made it so special, we are being the best grandparents we can possibly be for him, i wish i would have gotten to know the sweet baby that left this world with you, Be at Peace sweet Baby, till I see you again , you are in my heart ALWAYS....I Love You, and Miss You more than words can say. Jen's Mom
:~(HeavyHeart -- Jennifer, 10:39:16 07/27/05 Wed
July 2 2005 my son Damion was born into this cold world lifeless. He passed in the birth canal..he was premie at 22 weeks. I miss him so much that sometimes, I feel as if I can not go on. Please pray for my family and I, as I am praying for yours!
A Broken Heart...... -- Jenn, 19:36:53 11/01/04 Mon
I lost my 21 year old daughter September 19th, 2004....She was my only child. The death was sudden, unexpected. She was in the hospital for non life threatening treatment. She was found, already gone. They worked for an hour but got nothing. She wanted to donate her organs but they could not due to the fact that she was already gone when found.....I was able to partially fulfill her request and donate her corneas in the hope others might see......I miss her so......how do you go on when your heart has died? I always told her that she was my heart, on the casket spray, the card read, "she was my heart" and she was......in a million ways. I always told her the story of the day she was born. The day before her funeral I told her the story once more.....after everyone left the funeral home and it was just the two of us. Then I sung Good Night Sweetheart as I did when she was younger. One day she told me, "Mom, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you don't sing very well". I smiled and said, "then you need to go to sleep soon".......I miss her so much.....There are no more children. There will never be any more children. The dream, my baby is gone......
:~(Always in my heart -- Ms. Shandell, 19:39:17 07/13/05 Wed
On April 26, 2005 I lost my 13 month old baby boy. He went into the hospital on 2/8/05 to have what I thought would be a successful kindney transplant. Oh how I was wrong. I miss him dearly there is not a day that goes by and I wish that he were here with me. I love him but GOD loves him best. I will never forget him he will always be in my heart. Until we meet again.
?Who gets the ashes -- Les Ridley, 19:22:12 06/26/05 Sun
My husband and I Lost our son Stephen David (during Delivery) on July 20 2003.
We chose to have him Cremated, and have kept his ahes at home. In addition we have a Bundle the hospital made with his hair, quilt, outfit ect.
My husband has just asked for a divorce. - So Now what happens, Who gets the Ashes? Who gets the bundle? I don't want to fight over my dead Son, but ...
Any suggestions would be greatly apperciated.
Please keep me in your prayers
Loss of my Son -- Christi, 09:01:15 07/12/05 Tue
I lost my beloved son, Dean, in a one-car automobile accident on April 2, 2005. He left behind a wife, 3 beautiful young children, 3 sisters, his father and myself. At the time of Dean's death I was still grieving the sudden death of my father on 12/31/04. I was getting to a point where I could get through the days without crying or being angry, but now my pain is tenfold. I have good days but even those are rarely without tears and heartache and grief. I miss my son terribly and grieve for all of those who loved him and I grieve for all of the days to come when we will each have to deal with his absence. Holidays have always been such a time of joy and happiness in my life, and I find myself dreading the pain I know I will feel in celebrating without my beautiful son. I find myself remembering his amazing smile that could light up a room and, instead of being filled with wonder at how infectious it was, my heart breaks with the thought of never seeing it again. I find myself praying that I will dream of him at night, but I have no dreams at all. I find myself sobbing at the thought of never having his arms engulf me in one of his love-filled hugs. I find myself reaching for the phone to call and say I love you, and instead, reaching to wipe away the tears when I remember he is gone. I find myself thinking of little things about him that always made me smile and having trouble breathing. I find myself asking why and knowing there is no answer or reason that will ever be enough to satisfy my need to understand. I find myself longing for the day when I find the peace within myself, the strength from a higher power and the acceptance of the love of those around me to accept this terrible tragedy. I pray that I will find the courage and the determination to find a way in my life to honor Dean's memory and to always be the person that he always was so proud to be his Mom.
STILL GREIVING -- ANNE MCGUIRE, 20:09:33 07/09/05 Sat
I LOST MY WONDERFUL SON BILLY ALMOST 10 YEARS AGO,IN FACT AUGUST 12 OF THIS YEAR IT WILL BE 10 YEARS. HE WAS ONLY 24 YEARS OLD AND KILLED IN A CAR CRASH,HE HIT A TREE AND WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. I MISS HIM SO VERY MUCH. HE WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN IN HEAVEN MY BEAUTIFUL BOY I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH. LOVE ALWAYS MOM.
:~(loss of daughter -- michelle, 15:59:30 07/08/05 Fri
We need your prayers that our daughters killer will be brought to justice. Right now he or they are free to walk the streets. she, along with 3 friends were in a mobile home arson fire.I need to know how to live with this pain that is always with me.we miss and love her so much. I can't wait to get to heaven to be with her again.She was'nt only my daughter, she was my best friend.
Emmalee Roze Loschiavo -- Jennifer Freireich, 11:00:30 07/08/05 Fri
Emmalee Roze Loschiavo 11-21-04 to 2-22-05
we lost Emmalee early in the morning while we were asleep there was nothing wrong with our little angel. she had to be proped up and she would not sleep on her back only her belly she turned her head just right and she sufficated in her sleep. we miss her very much we love her very much
missed by her brother phil jr and sister amber daddy and mommy.
:~(My Red Head, Blue Eyed Angel Boy -- Ashley Leland, 06:55:30 06/23/05 Thu
I lost my son Kodie James at the age of three on november 9, 2004. His father put him in the front seat of his car with no car seat. Thank God my two year old daughter lived. I wonder everyday why God had to take him away from me, and how long will it be before I ever feel normal again. Will I ever. It makes things twice as bad when my two year old daughter asks about him everyday, and wants to cover up with his blankets and wants to use his pillow or wants to put his socks on everyday. She is still to young to understand anything yet but she wants to know why kodie is in the clouds and not home in his own bed everynight. Sometimes I feel that I will not make it another day and yet somehow my daugher pulls me through it. I thank God for letting me keep at least one of my Angels, or I would not be here today. Thank You Lord for all you have given to me, letting me be a parent not once but twice I am grateful to you everyday for you miracles.
:~(Hi -- Alma, 18:36:32 01/23/05 Sun
I lost my baby 15 days ago. He was 24 months. I do not know yet the cause of this death.
I Do not have any family close to where I live or friends since I moved here 8 months ago.
Plese pray for me.
Our Daughter NETTIE MAE REESE HARPER -- Charlott Terry, 19:13:16 06/16/05 Thu
My girlfriend and i and my 6 year old child was driving from the doctors office we got great news that we had to wait or more week then we would meet our daughter Nettie, named after my mother which whom passed away in 2002 at the age of 43 from cancer, we needed and wanted this child so much it was taken away from us be a SLEEPY driver who feel alseep at the wheel and hit us head on and killed our sweet baby on impact we suffered some serouis injuries, and we are still suffer in the of our daughter she was in 2003 Oct, 7th, me miss her so much my Girlfriend Lindsie may not can have anymore kids because of this its kinda of funny that we get hit by a sleepy drivers when you know its mainly drunk drivers that kills but now i am more scared to drive and worry about the sleepy ones then the drunk i am asking you to please pray for lindsie, help her have a warm heart she means so much to me and oneday i want another child with her she will make a good mother she is a very wonderful person i charish deeply she is my angel on earth and my mother and daughter is my angel in heaven keep them in your thoughts as well thanks
Our children -- Karen Jenkins, 15:20:09 04/04/05 Mon
Dear friends in grief: Nothing will ever stop our love and
grief for our children. We live a parent's worst nightmare
and we have no choice in the matter. My prayers go to all
of us in our sorrow. May God bless and comfort us all
and may He grant us some peace of mind and heart. I have
heard it said that time helps us to heal the tragic wounds
in our hearts, it gets easier with time but we never forget
and we never "get over it." We get over the death of a pet
not the death of our beloved children. I just am waiting to
go to Heaven to be with all of the loved ones I have lost.
We, unfortunately, live in hell on earth. There is one
solace: I would rather grieve this way than never to have
had the joy and love of my son. I wish it could be different and that he was here but I can never regret having
had him in my life. I know what true love is - the love
of your children.
Lily and Logan Baldwin -- Kym Baldwin, 19:52:07 06/14/05 Tue
I lost my precious twins Lily and Logan Baldwin at 12 weeks on June 3, 2005. I thought I had passed the critical 3 month period and that I would soon have a bundle of joy to care for! I was wrong. During a routine ultrasound, I was told I had twins and that they had died. I cannot tell you how empty I feel! My husband left me because he cannot understand my grief! I feel as if a piece of my heart was torn out! I pray that God will bless me with more children, but with my husband gone, I cannot see that happening. I feel so empty inside and no one wants to talk about it anymore. If there is anyone out there that has had a similar loss, please feel free to contact me if you need a friend. Also, please, please, everyone, pray for my babies and for my husband's return. I love him so much too, trying to bear all this loss at once is killing me!
My beautifull Tommy is gone @ only 18 months! -- Tina Marie Jackson, 18:55:10 06/14/05 Tue
I'm really lost! I need help! My third child Tommy past on June 3, 2005. I'm an EMT I started the training to help my children and others all it did was confirm the worst. I went from MOM mode to EMT mode he died of traumatic asphixiation when he climed into a small (a little larger than a nightstand) dresser and it slowly tipped on a 45 degree angle he was 18 months old it had child safty locks on it untill my oldest son broke them off he did it in the middle of the night when my oldest was at his dad's house (they share a room) I saved my son an autotopsy by taking photos before EMS arrived and ruined the scene (crime scene integrety is part of the training) I speak about it as if he was another patient but I can't look at clothes and we were talking about having my IUD pulled in order to have another child in november (tommy was born november 11 right before my birthday on the 30th) but now my daughter is 4 my son will be 6 in august I'm thinking about having one now not that it will ever replace tommy. letting him go was horrible I just want to keep everything. OH and SOMEBODY REALLY needs to come up with another alternative other than burial or creamation! I really freaked out the funeral director. I need help and people to talk to me email please as I like private converations this is hard enough oh and if you have a similar experience with a youger sibling passing I need insight to my 6 year olds mind he is so.... frank everything just comes out of his mouth with no emotion
My precious daughter, Sam -- joyce sullivan, 20:35:31 08/13/04 Fri
I lost my precious daughter Samantha in a tragic car wreck on November5,2000. The day before her 16th birthday. My heart is broken and will never be healed.Even though it will soon be four years,to me it happened minutes ago. People say I need to go on with my life,that I have three other daughters that need me.I know the last part is true,but these people have never lost a child.It's so hard to move on,my heart and my mind is still back there that night,November 5,2000. I need a lot of prayers,and I need to be able to freely talk about my little Sammy Jo and about what happened.But most people avoid talking about her for fear of upsetting me.But I need to talk about her! Ilove and miss her so----much!
Even after seven years, what do you do to cope? -- Krista, 21:08:20 11/19/04 Fri
My first baby (Lynnessa) was born on Aug. 24, 1997 and died Aug. 25, 1997. It's now Nov. 2004 and that makes it 7 years since she died. I often find myself still in a daze when it comes to the thought of her. I guess my question is, even after seven years of her being gone, how does one cope with it? I still cry when I think of her or when a song reminds me of her. Mother's Day is the big one for me. Yeah I have three children now since Lynnessa but there is still that missing gap. I had the support of family and friends when Lynnessa first passed away, but after a while, they all just quit talking about it. Now when we bring her up, the subject gets changed real quick. It's hard to explain my feelings but how do you cope with the sometimes depression that sets in? I know the depression comes from Lynnessa. People have told me 'go to a doctor' or a councelor. Yeah a councelor is a good thing, but what if the councelor has not experienced this loss? How will that councelor help me? And what if someone like me doesn't have the money to pay for a coucelor? I've talked to my Pastor, but again, he never experienced anything like this and doesn't know what to say.
:~(My Angelic Angel Angelica -- Michelle & Tony, 21:50:28 05/16/05 Mon
Our Daughter Angelica passed away of a brain aneurysm this was unexpected to us scence we were told that her kidney's were not working correctly but we were getting her treatment and she was doing fine untile April 15 at 6:15am when my mother my daughter's grandmother called and told us what had happened we got her to the hospital and told them of her complaint about her head hearting and I think they were to slow and things just went bad from there. After a few hours we found out that she was bleeding in her brain and how we prayed and prayed but she was not to survive and I feel so lost I mean we all do she touched us all with her smile and love I just can't believe this has happened to us and me my baby is gone even though she was 18 she my child and I am lost I want to see her and hear her again my child. I try to be strong for my other kids who are 15 and 10 but it so hard to be strong when all you want todo is cry and cry I know she's with god but it's still hard not having her here to talk to, to kiss and to hug I would have gladly given my life to let her live she had so much to do so I thought but God had other plains for her. I just want to touch her once more she was my first born and she gone this is a hard thing in my life to deal with but I pray every night for God to help me. My heart is breaking every min of the day and night please everyone pray for me and my family.
>:-(Two Angels -- Jennifer, 03:31:29 05/10/05 Tue
My beautiful angel had her third birthday March 28th. She only lived to be two and a half months. Last November I lost my husband to Cancer. I have so much pain and anxiety some days it hurts to get up in the morning but before my husband got sick we had another baby and she is 20 months old, healthy, hapy and an image of her daddy and sister. I don't know what to do I'm lost and scared. Please pray for some peace
My Erin -- Erin Virginia, 16:06:17 05/05/05 Thu
Erin was 20 years 2 months and 9 days old when she died in a car accident on Jan 19th 2004. Erin changed my life when she was born. Erin turned our house into a home. I miss her, I will always miss her. I love her, I will always love her.
:~(Loss of twin girls -- Jennfier, 18:09:54 04/25/05 Mon
My babies would have been five years old today, April 25, 2005. I wonder if it ever stops hurting this bad? I was 24 weeks pregnant with my twins Madison and Chloe, when Madisons water broke, everthing kinda fell aprt from there. I miss them both so much and wonder what they would look like. I never knew you could love some one so much that you never really knew. I pray that the angels are watching over them:(
:~(Fidel Jr. -- lupe, 16:40:31 11/18/04 Thu
My sister lost her baby while she was 25 weeks pregnant. It's been hard on her as well as for myself because I was really looking forward to being an aunt. I am trying my best to be there for my sister but it's kind of hard because I am dealing with my own pain. My sister is diabetic and they had been trying to conceive for many years. I believe they said that she had developed an infection in the placenta which caused the babys organs to fail.I wish they would of caught things sooner. Nevertheless sometimes God does things for a reason. I just hope that she will someday be able to heal her pain. If anyone has any suggestions as to how to help me help her cope please let me know. Thanks.
BEAUTIFUL BOY -- GINGER, 16:18:22 03/16/05 Wed
ON MARCH 5, 2005 MY BEAUTIFUL SON'S HEART JUST STOPPED. HE DIED IN HIS SLEEP. MY HUSBAND AND OTHER SON FOUND HIM IN HIS APARTMENT. I JUST CANNOT ACCEPT HOW A HEALTHY BOY(I KNOW HE'S A MAN BUT HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY "BOY" TO ME) CAN SUDDENLY JUST DIE IN HIS SLEEP. I AM SO TOTALLY DEVASTATED AND IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY OTHER SON I WOULD BE IN THE GRAVE WITH HIM. HE WAS MY HEART.
My Blue-eyed Angel Boy -- Danielle, 16:51:37 04/05/05 Tue
I lost my first born 1 year and 4 months ago to Sids.He would of been 2 this month. I find it hard on holidays and his birthday and mothers day. I have learned to cope with it but there are days when I have my days to where it hurts so much that I brake down in tears. I was scared and thought my world would never be right again. I now have a 1 year old little boy. But I wish his brother was here to play with him and just to listen to them talk to eachother right now would be so nice. Even though I believe there is a connection between my two boys sometimes. He will always be my angel from above. If anyone wants to talk please feel free to email me maybe we can cope together and talk.
In Memory of Corey Edward
April 12th, 2003 - June 8th, 2003
My Angel -- Danielle, 17:31:37 04/04/05 Mon
I lost my son 1 year ago. I now have a 13 month old. But I miss my son more and more each day. He would of been 2 years old on the 12th of this month. I wish sometimes I could bring him back but I know I can't and that whats hurts that most.
My son, Geoffrey P. Edwards -- Karen Jenkins, 15:26:10 04/04/05 Mon
Dearest son: It will be three years in May and not a day
has gone by that I don't think of you. My heart is broken,
my life is as ashes. I miss you so much and wish so much
that you are with me. I saw a beautiful red bird today
when I was walking and I knew that you were saying "hi, Ma."
Thank you, my son, for thinking of me. You are the best
part of my life and the most wonderful thing I ever did
was to be your Mother. You gave me such great joy and
put such a sparkle in my life. You made it all worthwhile,
even while I feel this grief, I can never regret having
had you. Beloved son, you are my heart.
my lost child -- Laura, 18:37:35 03/28/05 Mon
I lost my son matthew in july of last year at approx 28 weeks. I have been having a hard time lately as i also lost my dad last year and it was recently the one year anniversary for this. i just found out that i am going to be an aunt again and am having a hard time dealing with this. this was our first child and my husband and i had been trying for several years we had given up on having children and wonder now if there will ever be another
Oo.I LOST MY 5 MONTH OLD SON -- REGINA PAGE, 21:20:33 08/17/04 Tue
I LOSE OUR 5 MONTH OLD SON 4 MONTHS AGO.HE WAS SO SMART AND BUSY FOR HIS AGE.I AM STILL HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING TRU THE DAY WITHOUT CRYING.I HAVE MADE A GARDEN IN HIS NAME.AND STARTED COLECTING ANYTHING WITH ANGELS.I WOULD REALLY BE GLAD TO HEAR FROM ANYONE THAT IS GOING THOUGH WHAT I AM
?pregnacy loss -- corinne, 21:37:25 03/22/05 Tue
i was to be married to a man i thought i loved. little did i know his jealous rage would end my child's life. the man became abusive. he hit me in my tummy i tried to block it and i had an order o fprotection put on him. but it was to late. a few days later i started spotting. i than had to go a sonagram. the baby was to small to see. but the dr. said i should be fine. i was put on bed rest and later release to go to work. almost in my 3rd mounth i started bleeding woarse. i was order to bedrest. and i did everything the nurse told me. i read my books on pregnacy i took my vitmins. i was a healthy 21 year old and did everything wright! i later had blood drown out. again my dr said i would be fine. the next day i started cramping and it would not stop. i began bleeding. i paged my dr. and called my sister. i arrvied at the er. i knew somthing was horribly wrong when i did not have to wait for 3hours to be seen. they rush me in. they took my blood. and made me change. they did amother sonagram. i prayed the rosery prayer we wouldsay durning church over and over. as they searched for my baby. i remember everything they listen to the blood in my overies. and i knew that something horrible was happeing b/c of all the blood. they left me an hour before the dr. would say anything. the wait the mess the heartache. b/c i was not far along and the baby was so small...they said i would not know if the baby would pass b/c it would just be a big blood clot. he checked me and it was hard for him to see my cervix. they had a tube that was sucking my blood. then he pulled out a "clot" that could have been my baby. that i loved. sobbing threw the hole thing i just could not imange why?finally they decide not to do a d.n.c. i was in a catholic hospital, and they do not want to do those things inless you have to. well the next say my sister had dropped my off. she had just said good bye and i had to run to the bathroom. my 2year old son running be hind me. all of the sudden it looked like a jello egg red the size of my fist came out. as i am sobbing my son says mommy ok? i said mommy ok. luckily my dad came over shortly afterwards. he watch my son as i grieved. i called my dr. the next say. they said it could have been the baby if they did not get in the hospital or it could have been the plasnta or both.
the horrible part is idid not have a chance to hold her or him. i did not even now what he or she looked like. and i have no where to give them a proper barrible b/c i am not even sure if i lossed it at home or the hospital. it is a horrible thought to now what remains of human life can be in the hospital disposal or your sewer. i know that i ended up with the wrong guy. it dose not mean that this work out for the best. it dose not mean that i should have lossed my child. i am afaithful women. i love me son who is with me and i love the child that i carried. not my dr but the er dr. said look on the postive side, at lease it you did not go full term and have a headless baby!? and how i could have had problems down the road. and maybe i am to upset but that did not help at all. i do not understand! and i have nightmares over and over. sometimes i hear a child cry. or i donot even sleep all i can think about when my son is asleep and i am in my bed alone is the child i will never get to hold. the clothes and dipers and things to return. at 3mos preg. there was not a lot but still there were things given to me already. how do i deal with the pain? how do i recover? i still have horrible cramps that luckily are comming to an end. i have moodswings that i hate. and horrible headaches! my skin is broken out and i find my self either not eating or non stop eatting. i just want to get my self together so i can be a good role mdel for my son. luckily family has been supportive with him and tried to help me. no one will talk about it. and no one understands. what can i do to make myself healthy? my heart is brokeni feel like i will always be empety. and i never want to see or date a guy again................little loan trying for a 3rd since i loss my 2nd. is there any help?
My 9 year old Angel -- Yvonne, 07:16:14 03/20/05 Sun
My son Brian drowned if you have gone through this please e-mail me. He is forever in our hearts. Please visit his site to read his story www.coldwaterwarning.com If you have the same date 4-30-04 please e-mail also. If you need a prayer e-mail. Brian I love you, love mom
What can I do? -- Debbie Conner, 15:13:14 06/27/04 Sun
Two of my very dear friends just lost their 20 year old son in an accident. My heart is so heavy with grief for what they're experiencing right now. I want to help... but I'm not sure how I can best be of help for them.
For those of you who have experienced this tremendous loss, please help me to help my friends... What can I do?
my angel Dominic -- casey pannell, 17:09:42 03/09/05 Wed
i was 5 months when i was hit head on by a suv. the baby was okay that night and i thought it was a miracle because i hurt from head to toe. the doctor told me to keep my regular appointment which was 6 days away. that was the appointment in which i was to find out the sex and get a recording of the ultasound. instead i was told the placenta ruptured and my baby was dead. my next appointment was 4 days later to induce labor and i delivered the following day my baby boy Dominic. i miss him so much and i am a different person now,i have panic attacks and sleep like you wouldn't believe. it's going on 2 years now and i'm just now starting to get info on the web on things i can do and such. i've seen alot of sites but i just want to know is there anyone that was pregnant and involved in a car accident and lost their little angel? i feel so alone and although i don't wish this on anyone it seems someone might have gone thru this experience and i would like to hear from them. i miss you nic-nic!!!!!!!!
child loss -- Stephanie, 20:12:57 03/06/05 Sun
My husband and I lost our 3rd son from SIDS on 1/21/05. My grief was suffocating at first, but through a wrenching journey of faith I have found comfort. This is a beautiful site. If anyone who has lost an infant would like to talk (perhaps someone who doesn't have support readily available), feel free to mail me. Perhaps I can offer some comfort or at least an understanding ear. "...For I will turn their mourning into joy and make them rejoice after their sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13.
child loss -- Stephanie, 20:11:18 03/06/05 Sun
My husband and I lost our 3rd son from SIDS on 1/21/05. My grief was suffocating at first, but through a wrenching journey of faith I have found comfort. This is a beautiful site. If anyone who has lost an infant would like to talk (perhaps someone who doesn't have support readily available), feel free to mail me. Perhaps I can offer some comfort or at least an understanding ear. "...For I will turn their mourning into joy and make them rejoice after their sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13.
request for help and guidance -- PatriciaBonifield, 12:40:05 03/06/05 Sun
I lost my son on February 2nd of this year. I have no support living close to me. A friend in Erie, Pennsylvania (three hours north of me) gave of her time and drove here to be with me when I couldn't move. She continues to support and minister to me by phone and mail. She told me of a support group in Erie called Empty Arms. She said that it helped her many years ago when she lost her daughter. Her church had a memorial service for all mourning parents and there is an existing support group for mothers who have lost babies. I am looking to do the same here in Cecil, PA. I spoke to my pastor and he gave me the "go ahead." I am in the searching stage--gathering resources and help using the loss of my son as momentum to do something good (the only good that could possibly come from his loss).
Is there a list of resources you could pass along to me or a Bible Study curriculum that you have already invented that I could use? Any help would be appreciated.
mother of my dear baby boy, Keegan Franklin
:~(Loss of my angel, daughter and best friend -- Kim Crowley Cersey, 20:06:23 02/15/05 Tue
ON November 17, 1991 I lost my only child to train accident. She was on her way to church. It has been 13 years and I still cry for her every day. She was my best friend and my soul mate. It is still hard to beleive she is gone. But she does live on in my heart. I dont't know how to let go and get on with my life. I want her back so bad I can'6t hardly stand it. She was the center of my universe. The only consolation I have is she was a Christian and and I she is now with Jesus. I just don't know how to let go. I need help. Please help me. I don't want to forget me, I never knew I could love the way I loved her.
:~(Want to help a hurting friend... -- A caring friend, 19:01:33 07/25/04 Sun
My friend lost her first baby 3 months ago. A freak birth defect, intestinal malrotation and volvulus, took him from her 3 days after his perfect entrance to this world. She is so sad and I know nothing can really ever change that, but I just wish so that something I say or do will help. She is questioning her and her husbands choice to remove life support and I know it's tearing her up inside. But they made the right choice-he had no intestine left. My friend is such a giving, caring person, and I just don't understand why this happened to her-I hurt too. I just wish Noah was with us all, here. Is there anything I can do to help her pain, does it ever get better? Thanks.
Loss of my dream -- Rachel Diaz, 16:15:35 02/04/05 Fri
On January 5th 2005 I lost my 19 weeks 4 days little son Kevin. Everything seems that it was due to the amnio test that it was done. Tomorrow it will be one month of my loss and I still cry every single day. People is telling me that if I keep crying it will not be good for me. I am 38 and I have been trying to have a baby for 10 years. Kevin was the dream I ever wanted and he is gone. I pray to God every day to give me another chance.
:~(My Sweet Baby -- Beth Zaayer, 05:59:00 01/24/05 Mon
I was 7 weeks pregnant when we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy. I am 42yo and this was my first pregnancy. My husband and I have been married almost 18 years and trying to conceive 16 years. I am really saddened by the fact I will not have this baby to hold in my arms and will never be able to get pregnant again. I had surgery 1/12/05 to treat the ectopic pregnancy before it ruptured. This has been a great, great loss for my husband and I. Please pray for us and our lost baby. My faith in Jesus has helped me greatly during this time.
Madison Jean -- cindy greaves, 18:45:14 07/29/04 Thu
Our hearts were broken when we lost are beautiful Madison Jean on 3/12/04. Madison was my daughters first baby and my first grandbaby. We know that she is in heaven, she helps pour out the rain. The song by Buddy Jewel was played at our angels funeral. It wasn't suppose to rain that day, but it did, almost all day. That gave us peace to know that she was in heaven and she was helping to pour out the rain on us. We will always love her.
When someone comes into our lives and they are too quietly and quickly gone, they leave footprints on our hearts and their memory stays with us forever.....
:~(Loss of Granddaughter -- Granddaughter--Ambreliyah Jessie Sypolt. I am T. Maxwell, 23:40:50 01/03/05 Mon
We just lost our first grandchild on December 13, 2004, she was born on November 14, 2004, she died of whooping cough. She was a beautiful little angel. We know that when she closed her eyes here on earth, she opened her eyes and was in Jesus's arms. So we will hold her in our hearts and Jesus will hold her in his arms till we can hold her in ours again. Ambreliyah you are Nanny and Pappy's special little angel and will always be in our hearts.
:~(Loss of our son -- Jason Michael Reinsch, 09:46:02 12/08/04 Wed
Our son was shot on May 9th, 2003 and did not survive. He is
one of those stars in the sky I pray to and cry to each night. He was 29 years old and when we got to him he was already brain dead and we did not get a chance to say goodby or we love you. I miss him so.
:~(Loss of my stepson -- Karen, 13:25:55 11/30/04 Tue
My husband and I had 8 children between the two of us until the day of March 5th. This is when we lost his 19 year old son, my stepson by an unexpected accident. Our lives have changed so much. We trust in God, however there is still so much pain. I want to help my husband, but I don't know what to do or what to say. I can feel his pain. I pray that he will receive the comfort of our FATHER. Our other children try not to show their pain thinking this will help their father. What do I do???
Home at last -- Trini, 20:27:10 11/23/04 Tue
Angela Joan left us all on November 17, 2004.
Finally finding Peace within her heart, accepting all our love and leaving oh so much love behind.
She returns home to God with a happy heart.
I love you sis. I miss you Ang. Til we meet again.
xoxoxo Trini xoxoxo
Still hurting after 2 yrs & 9 mo. My Angel Lee -- Carolyn, 12:16:05 11/18/04 Thu
I lost my daughter Lee at the age of 36. She had a heart attack which was drug induced I strongly beleive. This was due to her doctor giving her narcotics for pain. She was scheduld for back surgery one moth after she died. She left behind 4 children. I miss her so very much and the sadness never goes away. We had a troubling relationship for many years but we became very close the last 6 months of her life. So I feel guilt,among many other emotions. I write poems to her and that helps occasionly. My family and friends think I'am doing fine, but they just dont know the tears I shed in the darkness of night, missing Lee so. She was on life support for 3 days. So beautiful as she lay there. All the family decided to let her go. This was just the shell of her. I'am a nurse and knew she was brain dead. It was time to let her go.I just wanted to say that I still hurt with missing her.A part of her will always live as she was a donor. Please hold your children close. Tell them you love them everyday. You know that in the blink of the eye, they could be gone.
Lost 3 1/2 yr. old son & don't know why -- C. McGuire, 20:50:44 11/13/04 Sat
3 months ago (July 26, 2004) I laid my 3 1/2 yr.old son, Nathan, down for nap & about 2 hrs later I went to check on him & he had passed away! No symptoms, he had been very healthy, normal dr. visits etc... He was the most beautiful & sweet little boy I had ever known! I love him with all my heart & am just devastated by his passing! My heart is broken forever! I definately need prayer. Thank you.
For more info on Nathan I created a website for him at: www.nathanmcguire.com.
~Nathan's loving mommy, Christie~
Can't forget -- Mary St.John, 08:00:33 11/06/04 Sat
I'M A SINGLE MOTHER WHO LOST MY SON 2 YEARS AGO DUE TO A DRUG INTERACTION. I WALKED INTO MY APARTMENT AND FOUND HIM AND HE WAS GONE. I CAN'T GET THIS MEMORY OUT OF MY MIND. I MISS HIM SO MUCH. HE WAS ONLY 19 YEARS OLD AND HIS NAME WAS BILLY. IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED AND CAME AS A GREAT SHOCK TO ME. MY OWN FAMILY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND AND I CAN'T REALLY TALK TO THEM ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. IT SEEMS THAT AS TIME GOES BY THAT I FEEL WORSE. I DO HAVE A 29 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND SHE FEELS JEALOUS THAT I KEEP GRIEVING FOR MY DEAR SON. I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME PERSON. I WISH SOMEONE COULD UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL. I COULD USE A FRIEND AND SOMEONE WHO CAN VALIDATE MY FEELINGS. I FEEL SO ALONE AND SO DEPRESSED. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I SEE HIM AGAIN IN HEAVEN. I KNOW THAT I HAVE A DAUGHTER TO LIVE FOR AND I LOVE HER VERY MUCH BUT I MISS MY SON SO MUCH. CAN SOMEONE HELP ME WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. THANK YOU.
:~(i lost my baby sister -- kylee woodward, 11:42:33 11/04/04 Thu
i lost my three month old sister to Sudden Infant Death Syndrom in june. my step mom is having a tough time. their marrage is falling apart. please pray long and hard for us. thsnk you.
:~(my best friend mick -- michelle copeland, 14:12:58 10/29/04 Fri
mick my best friend and daddy to michael our son whos in heaven with you.its been nearly two years march 29th 2005.since cancer and pain took you away from us.you was only 44 to young to be taken from us but god only picks the best to join him in the garden of rest.mick we still miss you the pain is still raw.hope you and our son are happy together.michael john copeland 25.09.58 till 29.03.03.we love and miss you both lots of love michelle luke(lukie)and adamxxxxx
My little sister.... -- Nicole, 17:36:23 10/23/04 Sat
My little sister passed away July 3. I don't know what to do. I think of if I could have done something she would still be here and I wish it was me instead. She was only a kid and didn't deserve to die, exspecially under the circumstances. I don't know what do I miss my sister. The feeling is driving me to do some things I shouldn't...If you get what I mean.
[Info]I Lost My First born and only son 9 years ago today -- Carmin, 00:31:11 10/19/04 Tue
I love you so much, I hope that you can see your sisters baby Charles Corey Hartwell. He is so beautiful. Your family misses you so much, can you believe that they are playing my favorite song on this website? Your Mom will never forget you, neither will your sisters. Happy 20th b-day on los dias de muertes. Corey?
I Lost My First born and only son 9 years ago today -- Carmin, 00:26:58 10/19/04 Tue
I love you so much, I hope that you can see your sisters baby Charles Corey Hartwell. He is so beautiful. Your family misses you so much, can you believe that they are playing my favorite song on this website? Your Mom will never forget you, neither will your sisters. Happy 20th b-day on los dias de muertes. Corey?
14 week miscarriage -- Sabrina, 20:06:54 10/15/04 Fri
I lost a baby on june 9, 2005. I was 14 weeks along and thought that I had made it past that crucial 3 month mark.It's been 3 months and i still hurt so much but feel like i have to hide my pain so i don't upset my husband or children. On oct 6 the hospital held a memorial service for all miscarried, stillborn, and newborn deaths. All the babies were cremated together and brought to a tomb at a cemetery nearby. It seemed to have brought all the pain back. I brought my children who are 8 and 5, and although i did my best to explain to them what was going on my youngest kept asking when the babies were showing up and i could feel my heart break right there. I'm scared that the pain will never fade. I don't want to forget, I just want to be able to think of my baby without feeling so much pain. I feel so guilty for being so angry for my baby leaving me. I loved this little person so much already.
My Firstborn Devi -- Linda Morgan, 10:54:20 10/15/04 Fri
3 years ago I lost my son Devi after 8 weeks <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=pregnancy&v=56">pregnancy</a>. I was raiped when I was 14 and before I even knew I was pregnant I miscarried. At the <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=time&v=56">time</a> I didn't want to think about the child I lost, i was angry en confused. Now I know he is my son and I learned a lot in de past couple of years. I miss him every day and especially today. Today it's <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=pregnancy&v=56">pregnancy</a> & infant loss remembrance day 7 I seem to be the only one who cares. I know I'm not alone but there is so little support...
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=Baby&v=56">Baby</a> boy I will alwayz remember you. One day We'll be toghether again.
I miss you our angel -- Patricia Jones, 05:11:26 10/11/04 Mon
Our little Suzanne died 11th October 1986, We know it is 18 years. It only feels like yesterday and the memories so clear, She was a very ill child and required so many operations, It did not make it any easier when we lost her, she died at home in my arms and there was nothing We could do, I still see her tiny face, she looked so peaceful, asleep.
With Suzanne a part of us died too,On the anniversary of her death the pain is all to real,
My Guardian Angel -- Kristie Feldt, 08:55:54 10/02/04 Sat
My baby wasn't given a chance to roam this earth. He was taken from me after only 15 and 1/2 weeks of being in my womb. Needless to say, I love him very much. He was my first baby and I don't ever want to forget him. I just feel so sad, like somehow I let him down. That's the part i can't get over. I need all the prayers I can get!! So if anybody reads this, please pray for my baby David. I will deeply appreciate it.
:~(Lost daughter at 6months gestation -- Trish, 12:00:13 09/21/04 Tue
I lost my baby Hope 2 years ago to severe preeclampsia. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and I am currently 8 weeks pregnant but they are not able to find the heartbeat, so sadly I may have another angel in heaven. My husband is too grief stricken to try again. So I guess Our beautiful miracle of a daughter will be are only child. The pain is so deep I don't know how to hold my head up some days, except I know I have to be there for my living child. God Bless all of you, you are in my prayers
How Do We Go On??? -- Jane St.Germain, 13:34:56 09/12/04 Sun
On March 28,2004 our only child, Chantalle 22 yrs. old was killed in a tragic car accident. There is so much that went with her that nite - her future,our future, our grandchildren's future. I need to talk with someone that has gone thru losing their only child - I feel as if i am in a big black hole and there just is no getting out. I feel like i am losing touch sometimes with reality - my friends, family, Chan's friends have been wonderful but it just isn't enough. Where do we go from here? Can anyone answer me?
:~(my only two kids -- beth, 01:00:16 09/11/04 Sat
My name is Beth i lost my only two kids ages 9 and 11 last year in a tragic car wreck i also lost my brother in law im having a very vary hard time this just sems to be gettig harder everyday i dont no how much more hurt i can take
I lost my daughter -- Bonnie Malone, 20:25:43 08/30/04 Mon
I lost my only daughter(17 yrs old) on August 5 2004. She was in a auto accident. She was pronouced brain dead at 5 pm. Her dad (we are divorced), brother and I decided to donate her organs, something she had just a few weeks before told her brother she would like to do if anything ever happened to her.
I am so lost without her. She was my best friend. We told each other EVERYTHING. I cry constantly. I ramble around the house feeling so alone. Everything reminds me of her. Her pictures are consoling but they make me ache for her. I feel as my heart as been jerked out of my chest.
I have lost a father, a brother, both sets of grandparents and even had my mother in law take her last breathe in my arms after along bout with cancer. I moarned them. But this is s different. I feel like I have been hit by a bolt of lighting.
They say it gets better with time. I don't think so. I think I will get "accepting" of this feeling and learn to live with it. I do not know if that is even possible.
I am mad at God right now and they say that is normal. It is very upsetting to me that I feel this way. They say God has a plan. They say you are not suppose to question him, how do you not?
I know I must go on because I have my son and daughter in law who are expecting my first grandbaby in December. But I don't know how to go on without her.
A friend asked when a wife loses a husband they are called a widow, when a husband losses a wife he is called a widower. What do you all a other who has lost a child? The only thing I could say was " a lost Momma!"
Everyone here who has lost a loved one has my prayers and thoughts.
Giulia -- Gaby, 00:15:06 08/20/04 Fri
Today is the 6 month anniversary of our first born child our daughter Giulia. She was born full term on the 20th of February 2004 but died 7 hours later. The Doctors have no answers for her death - they just don't know. It has been 6 long months - it feels longer but yet I can not believe it has been this long. I remember Giulia each and every day but today of all days she is closer to me and I want to share her with others. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen with porcelain white skin and round rosy cheeks - the most perfect little chin and the cutest nose but most importantly she was mine and she was perfect and I loved her from before I met her - my baby, my child my little one. Today Mommy remembers you my little Giulia - today Mommy shares your memory with others. You my little Giulia have taught me more in your short life than I could have ever wished to teach you. Carry my love with you in Heaven as I carry your memory with me on earth.... Arriverderci my baby - till we meet again ... TI AMO TANTO !!!!
:~(Loss of First born son -- Jennifer P, 11:51:17 08/19/04 Thu
My husband and I lost our first born son May 9, 2004 (Mother's Day). I carried him for 29weeks.
I went in the morning of mothers day and they couldn't find a heartbeat, they then confirmed by ultrasound that he had died. I was put into labour and had him 8.5 hrs later. He was stillborn due to Placenta Infarction.
We had a service for him and he was burried with my Grandmother.
Connor Thomas will always be in our hearts.
My Angel -- Robin, 08:46:25 07/04/04 Sun
On July 2,2004 we learned that our 8 week 3 day old unborn fetus' heart stopped beating. This would have been our first child. My husband is a new Police Officer and I believe this baby went on to be an angel to watch over him for me. We are sad since we are only married 2 months, but we pray God will one day give us the chance to be parents.
:~(Loss of Daughter -- Therisa Bush, 10:27:16 04/13/05 Wed
I lost my baby girl on February 24 of 2005. That day was the hardest day of my life. Being only 16 i have been through more than any1 can imagine and since that day its been the worst. Taliyah Syann Henry my baby girl she was the most beautiful person I've ever saw and will always be. To every1 who have lost sum1 for u i think that if u keep in your mind that u for 1 especially know that our lil 1s r sumwhere where no1 can hurt them. They r in a place called perfect. God did it for a reason they were 2 special 2 be livin in this cold world. I know it's hard 4 me n every1 else but maybe sumday we will c them again. From Feb.24 2005 i have never gotten a perfect nights sleep. I wake up every night 2 get a bottle ready until my baby father stops me n makes me n then i realized it over again ever night what happened.Taliyah Syann Henry born August 20, 2004. i only had her 4 6 months of her life but those few months i will never 4get. There will be no 4gettin about it but remembering the good times will keep us surviving.I am now pregnant again although i didnt want to b right now but my next baby will never replace her. I think looking towards God is the only way to get through times like these. Note:2 any1 who have lost a lil1 i have 1 name GOD!!!!