VoyForums

[ VoyUser Login optional ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 18:16:48 05/19/04 Wed
Author: Bar
Author Host/IP: user-0cal2o3.cable.mindspring.com / 24.170.139.3
Subject: "Four All Who Reed and Right"

Speaking of something to ponder:

Four All Who Reed and Right
> ===========================
>
> We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
> but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
>
> One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
> yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
>
> You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
> yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
>
> If the plural of man is always called men,
> why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
>
> If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
> and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
>
> If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
> why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
>
> Then one may be that, and three would be those,
> yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat
> is cats, not cose.
>
> We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
> but though we say mother, we never say methren.
>
> Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
> but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
>
> Let's face it,
> English is a crazy language.
>
> There is no egg in eggplant,
> nor ham in hamburger;
> neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> English muffins weren't invented in England.
>
> We take English for granted.
> But if we explore its paradoxes,
> we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
> and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
>
> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
> grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
>
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,
> but not one amend?
>
> If you have a bunch of odds and ends
> and get rid of all but one of them,
> what do you call it?
>
> If teachers taught,
> why didn't preachers praught?
>
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
> what does a humanitarian eat?
>
> Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
> should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
>
> In what other language do people recite at a play
> and play at a recital?
>
> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
>
> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
> while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
>
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
> your house can burn up as it burns down;
> in which you fill in a form by filling it out
> and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
>
>
> ~Author Unknown~

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
[ VoyUser Login ] Not required to post.
Post a public reply to this message | Go post a new public message
 * Notice: Posting problems? [ Click here ]
 * HTML allowed in marked fields.
* Message subject (required):

* Name (required):

  Expression (Optional mood/title along with your name) Examples: (happy, sad, The Joyful, etc.) help)

  E-mail address (optional):

* Type your message here:

Choose Message Icon: [ View Emoticons ]

Notice: Copies of your message may remain on this and other systems on internet. Please be respectful.



Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 2.94, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2008 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.