Often, during these periods of self reflection it seems that many of my positive deeds can be either due to selflessness or to ego (wanting to appear to be good, or the expectation of the reward of feeling good).
I have compassion and empathy in spades; in fact since my sudden "epiphany" about 7 or 8 years ago, I find that happenings both joyous and sad that I see on the TV will often move me to tears.
It is just self reflection that is the problem
We are told that for a positive act to be truly valid, the person giving kindness should not do so out of any expectation of reward.
However, do we not all expect that living a kind and just life on Earth will ensure that we cross over to a higher and therefore better realm in the next life? A reward for our actions?
Therefore can we attribute all our good deeds and learning to the expectation of reward, thereby negating what we hoped to achieve in the first place?
This is the place I am in at the moment.
I scrutinise all my actions and reactions most carefully and always, somewhere down the road I see a potential for ego or self to have guided my hand.
