| Subject: Racism and discriminations |
Author:
Maryse
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Date Posted: 00:20:15 09/21/08 Sun
In reply to:
Maryse
's message, "The Company « Little Red Riding Hood »" on 19:17:05 09/20/08 Sat
Mark,
I am born in a country of black natives, in the south hemisphere of this planet. The white people there were practicing racist discrimination as something natural.
Once, when I was eighteen years old, as I wanted to make some money, a French friend of mine asked me to sell some educational books, and he told me that the different Ministries, and especially the National Education Ministry, should be the places where I should propose the books.
So I asked for an appointment with a Director in the National Education Ministry. I entered in his office; a fat black guy invited me to sit in front of his desk, and asked me my reasons for visiting him. So, with a lot of insurance…and naivety… I talked about the books and presented them as very good interesting books newly published. He said nothing, took the books and began to read some pages… Then I have received the greatest slam of my life! This cold shower made me realised what racism is, and how racism can be practised by many people with a lot of arrogance, without them to realise how serious and painful it can be. Many don’t even realise that their behaviours are very racist. He told me: « Oh Yes! You came in my office. You thought here is a stupid black guy that I shall be able to fool; I shall roll him into the flour with my nice sweet speech, then I shall sell him easily my junk books because the blacks are all stupid. »
Then he asked me: « Have you read these books? »
Fortunately for me, I have been frank; I answered: « No, these new books have been given to me only two days ago, so I did not have the time to really look at them ».
So he softened his tone a bit, but not too much and told me: « Ok, even if you have been arrogant in coming here, I shall take for your credit that you have been frank! Look at these misspellings! There are misspellings almost in each paragraph. Seriously, how a Director of the National Education Ministry can propose such books of poor standard to the schools? » Then he went on again about racism, that we, the white people were very arrogant, that we knew only to walk on the head of smallers, that we have had since many centuries this attitude against the blacks that we call sometimes by degrading and insulting nicknames, etc.
I agree that he might have exaggerated a bit his severity and his so-called insulted feelings, as a very good actor, but the cold shower has been for the good cause: he wanted to awake my consciousness and to teach me something important about the phenomena of racism that is a FACT.
Racism is very hurtful. Same for any kind of discrimination. I left his office very sad and thougthful because I have hurt someone I did not want to hurt. And even at eighteen, the last thing I would have like to do was to hurt any one who have done nothing against me, be a black, yellow, red or white skin. Even to my worst enemy, I would not wanted to consciously hurt.
Not long ago I have witnessed for few days terrible scenes where an English mother was cuddling her daughter of 8 years old all the day long, and was totally ignoring her 10 years old son. She was ignoring him probably since few years. The boy was bad with the kids and teachers at school, but the mother has decided that she did not want to be involved with him. What ever could happen to him or whatever he was saying, she had simply decided that he was not existing… As a result of this indifference and lack of love, the boy was expressing his suffer by telling to the father that he prefered him because he has a higher value job compared to the mother who is a simple house cleaner. The boy was the double of the size of kids at his age, because he kept eating junk foods, cakes, sweets, fries, etc… and the mother simply didn’t care ! It was not her problem ! They were not communicating to each other anymore, since few years. Not knowing that the boy was her own son, we would have thought that the father had this boy with another woman. Every body is slim in their family apart the boy.
Frankly, I don’t know how a mother can be so cruel to practice discrimination between her own children. Never we should say that we prefer this one or this other.
As all the members of this family were not good at psychologically handling such situation, every one was making the situation even more serious. The grand-mother on the father's side, for example, has said to the boy : « Don’t worry if your mother does not love you. I am there. You are my favourite and I love you ». The grand mother wanted to appear the angel, the only one who is able to love ! On the expense of someone else of course ! No tact, no intelligence.
The father, him, was allowing everything to the boy, giving to him anything he wants, any expensive toy, and in their house the situation is totally reversed : it is the boy who is opening his big mouth, commanding and imposing his dictatorship to the adults in the home, when the parents should have been strong and tell him with great firmness : « Here in this house, it is the adults who are commanding, and not the children ! » . On purpose also, the boy imposes what he wants to eat, and controls everything in the kitchen.
It is strange how people are feeling guilty to be firm when educating kids, as if it was very bad and a crime or hate to be firm. Discrimination and indifference are certainly worse than to be firm with a kid. We have to give our time and energy in educating and nurturing the young souls. With the kids who have strong character, it is absolutely necessary that the adults are firm and to not change their decisions every five minutes. Changing of decisions creates great confusion in the mind of the kids who have to learn the limits and the respect. Many modern parents are feeling guilty to work and to not be all the times at home with the kids, so they compensate in giving too much gifts and treats to them.
.
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