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Date Posted: 18:49:59 11/17/07 Sat
Author: Yolagirl
Subject: Re: For jeremy
In reply to: Beamer 's message, "Re: An Update" on 08:05:10 11/14/07 Wed

Hi Jeremy,
This is my first time posting, but your message about your wife accusing you of abuse, sounded so familiar, I had to write. I, too, just found out that my boyfriend/fiance of 3 years is gay, though he is still in denial. He, too, used my anger to accuse me of abuse, when it was he who cheated, lied, drugged me, tapped the phone and generally made me feel as though I was going crazy. Luckily, I grew up with a mentally unstable, abusive sister, so I eventually read the signs. The reality is that you are not an abusive person. You are a caring person who happens to be justifiably angry. She is most likely hurting very badly inside and is filled with tremendous fear and self-hate. To deflect those feelings, she abuses you emotionally and mentally. In the end, you can empathize with her pain, but, as others have said, that does not absolve her of responsibility for her actions. The best way to deal with your anger? For me, at lest, I think it's to write in a journal.

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