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Date Posted: 07:51:36 12/02/07 Sun
Author: Elly (Faith will heal you)
Subject: Re: My Marriage is Over
In reply to: Kris 's message, "Re: My Marriage is Over" on 01:59:35 10/27/07 Sat

Hi Jeremy,

I know exactly how you feel and the terrible heartbreak and pain you are feeling because I am still going through it myself.

My husband and I have been married for 25 years and I still wake up each day hoping it is all a bad nightmare or dream but the reality is it isnt. Just to think that the person you love has hidden behind this facade makes us feel such betrayal. Look at it from the point of view that your wife at least did not action her feelings as my husband obviously has for some years now. No signs, we still had a great sex life, great marriage so that is often no indicator.

Your wife has at least told everyone so they know which eases the burden of leaving close friends wondering why such a great marriage has broken down as is the case with me because I am not allowed to tell anyone my husband is gay.

I have found that trying to build a small network of supportive friends and family is the best way to try and deal with this empty void and broken dreams . I know what you mean by feeling alone in a room full of people but that will start to pass . Last night I went to my first party with lots of our friends alone and it wasnt easy but I did have a good time just getting out the first social event in over 2 months whilst my husband has been out from the very beginning. We are the victims but so are they.

Nothing will change your wifes feelings so you must move on , move out of the house get someone to share with you for some company or move in to a share accomodation. You can still have your own space then when you need it.

Join Straight 8's and you will meet someone who understands and in time you will find love again and learn to trust that person.

Find peace by getting in touch with the spiritual side of yourself it does help to make us realise that whilst we have been dealt a terrible blow there are so many more people in the world who's ordeals , illnesses, poverty and hardship are far greater than ours.

Let go of your wife and perhaps keep her out of your life for a while and then later be friends. I must make that terrible break myself because seeing my husband when he drops in for a brief few minutes of duty call sets me back even further and I find myself getting worse with the heartbreak not better.

I feel your pain Jeremy and will pray for you to find strength and happiness. Pray for me because I need it too.

Sincere wishes to you for a happy future

Elly

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