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Date Posted: 00:28:56 02/08/08 Fri
Author: Jeremy (lonely still)
Subject: Update (For anyone interested)
In reply to: Jeremy 's message, "My Marriage is Over" on 06:47:24 10/24/07 Wed

Well, it's a new year and I've made some major changes. I live in Utah now, instead of California where I was. I was suffering panic attacks at work just knowing that she was in the same city as me, so I knew I had to leave. I quit my job and moved in with my sister and her husband for a while. I just recently started working again after two months without a paycheck. I live with 3 roommates in a pretty nice townhouse in the Salt Lake area. I haven't gotten back into school yet (I missed the deadline) but I will this summer.

My 'ex' called me recently, after no contact for the last two months; just to tell me that she received a gas bill for the last 6 months that we didn't know we were supposed to be paying. I told her that I'd be happy help out, but I have my own debts right now from the move and from taking care of my bills for the last two months with no income. She said that that's my problem and that I better help with the bill.

She's become so mean spirited and so unlike the person I fell in love with in the first place, that it's like the woman I loved is dead.

The worst part now is the loneliness. I have a couple of family members out here, but no real friends. My roommates are busy with their own lives and so we don't see much of each other. I hate going to bed; it's the worst part of my day. I keep expecting her arms to enfold me as I lay down or that I'll wake up in the morning to find this has been the more elaborate nightmare I've ever had.

How long can it take to get over the lonely feelings? How long before I'm comfortable not sharing my bed anymore? How long before I can expect to not be thinking about her all the time? Why can't I be as happy as she's making out to be, I'm not the one who destroyed someone. I'm sorry for the rant, these are just some of the questions that seem to weigh heaviest on me right now. Any help is always appreciated.

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