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Date Posted: 13:43:39 02/08/08 Fri
Author: Bob
Subject: Re: Update (For anyone interested)
In reply to: Jeremy 's message, "Update (For anyone interested)" on 00:28:56 02/08/08 Fri

Hi Jeremy, I can't say how long it will be before you feel "normal" and good about life again. Some people seem to recover much faster than others. It seems to me you are doing a pretty good job so far. The key I believe is recognition of the truth as it is. When you said it seems like the woman you loved is dead, in fact that is the truth. Physically she is alive. Yet the emotional ties that you and she shared and the love you experienced; that is what has died. That is what no longer exists. You and she made much different decisions when you had common goals and a shared life. Today your decisions are "what's best for me" because the new reality is you are not connected and your shared goals are history.

Keep doing what you are doing. If there are still legal connections, and finanical connections deal with cutting them off too. Pay the part of the heat bill you feel is your responsibility. Have you divided up your joint assets already? Does she owe you anything? Such as a car you left behind, or furniture? Close out any joint financial accounts you had together. Have you filed for divorce? If not, get it started.

You are still mourning for the old life you had, which is in effect dead. This is normal, but don't let yourself get morbid as you mourn. Your new life is still developing and you will start to feel better when you start to see the future as a better place than today. Just keep going, live one day at a time. Put yourself in places where you will find ways to make some new friends. Join things, like a YMCA or health club. Keep busy, and don't spend too much time alone in your apartment. Go to the movies, go to church, go skiing, go to the lake. It does get better, but you have to be active in moving forward with your new life as you let go of your old one.

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  • Re: Update (For anyone interested) -- wicked, 20:17:20 02/24/08 Sun
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