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Date Posted: 19:53:56 02/24/08 Sun
Author: wicked
Subject: Re: My Marriage is Over
In reply to: Jeremy 's message, "Re: My Marriage is Over" on 08:52:49 10/25/07 Thu

Jeremy -

My ex said the same thing to me. HE wanted to remain friends, he wanted to train/workout together. I am a WIERD one. . .I don't surround myself with friends, business associates and especially significant others that lie to me, hurt me or that I can't trust.

I was a hermit for almost a full year after I found out, maybe 18 months. I woke up, went to work M-F and came home and basically "hid". I thought the entire world could see right through me and know all that had happened and I didn't want to face the human race. I went back to school so I was basically working 70-80 hours a week between school and a FT job. My way of hiding, but it kept my brain from being idle. When the brain was idle I constantly thought of him. It probably wasn't the best way to move through the process but it worked for me until I had healed enough not to care what the world thought and until it finally sunk into my skull that it wasn't my fault, what he did to me, who he was. . .was not my fault and I was ready to move on with my life.

For me I cut off all ties, the day I broke it off with him was the last day I saw him. I had all of his stuff packed and met him in a parking lot and handed it over. I cried all the way home wondering if I would grow to be an old spinster with 90 cats. For the record I only have two, the same two I have had for 5 years.

TRUST that you will work through your pain, you will grow from this in ways you didn't think possible. It has been 4 months since you originally posted and I hope each day gets a little better and a little brighter for you but you have to understand and be patient. It will take time.

I bought myself a spiral notebook and took 15-20 minutes each day to write down what I felt. Oh the cusswords my momma would be proud (actually it wouldn't even phase her considering). I was so angry and in such a rage. . .also part of the process. I look back on those pages that are now 2+ years old and can't believe where I had been and how at peace I am now.

Hang in there and take care of you, make yourself your number one priority and do what is right for you. I FINALLY learned this after 36 years!!

W

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