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Date Posted: 04:55:05 04/13/08 Sun
Author: difflurker
Subject: Re: need some support
In reply to: sophie 's message, "need some support" on 00:10:53 04/12/08 Sat

“What he said tonight....I just felt crushed. I can't shake this feeling that I am not enough...that I am not good enough..that I am just really bad at sex...that I've had too many babies and am no longer what I used to be....that I am just not the right gender for him.”

Here is my take. If you are not in consoling please do so. I think you may have some unrealistic expectations about this relationship. He isn’t bi. He is gay. In my travels I have meet bisexual guys and there was attraction to women aplenty. Those three guys showed interest in girly porn and showed interest in dating women. They were like the straight guys I used to work with.

Anyway your feelings are true. You are not enough because you are a woman. Not because your figure isn’t quite what it once was. You are just not the right gender for him period.

If you keep expecting intimacy from this guy, you are going to keep getting feelings like that. It is an unrealistic expectation. He is gay and you’re not a guy. There is no lingerie you could put on. No diet you can try that could make you irresistible to him.

Someone once said that they choose the wrong product and I think that is correct. If you wanted someone to keep you company and discuss the latest in politics or nuclear physics and perhaps be a good dad then a gay guy is not a problem. If you want someone to chase you around the house with lustful glee at the merest glance of your flesh then you have a big problem.

Being gay or straight is pretty hardwired I think. I used to work in an all male environment and whenever a woman would go across the factory floor work would stop. Guy would gawk as if they had never seen one in their lives. While the straight guys were gawking, I would usually be wondering what happened? Why did everyone stop? Lacking attraction to women, I was unaffected by the distraction of a woman walking through.

That is also why there is a lack of intimacy. He might try or come when called, but the low level primitive animalistic desire is missing. That is also why masturbation works not that his had is more attractive than you, but he can imagine the perfect guy.

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