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Date Posted: 13:48:22 04/28/08 Mon
Author: Tina
Subject: Re: Transgender Husband?
In reply to: Confused 's message, "Transgender Husband?" on 05:07:05 04/22/08 Tue

Dear Confused,

My husband came out to me as a cross-dresser also considered transgendered 5 years ago. I had a very difficult time in the beginning but over time after reading both online info, books, talking to my husband, and soul searching I have come to accept this side of him. There is so many different types of transgendered individuals and degrees of how far they go into the other gender from just crossdressing as my husbsnd does to wanting a sex change. You didn't say much about where your husband feels he fits? Also in reference to him saying you wanting another woman that really has nothing to do with the transgendered side of him and sounds more like his own ideas about what women want possibly stemming from his ex-wife. I have come to a point in our marriage where I accept and participate in my husbands dressing but from what I've learned I'm more or less in the lower percentage. It really depends on how much you personally can tolerate, like me you were not given the choice of marrying a transgendered man I wasn't told until 5 years in either. I was very angry at first and felt betrayed like I had been being cheated on and the other woman turned out to be my own husband it really is a screwed up situation. We too have children one son of our own and three kids each from prior marriages at this time my three older kids know but our son and his adult daughters don't know and I don't think he has any plans on ever telling them. I think that because my kids know and have no problem with it now (time seems to make it less of an issue to all) that he should inform the rest as I feel it is best he tell them than they somehow find out themselves. Anyway I know how hard this is and the best advice I have is to go online and read as much as you can there are some excellent groups for women in your position. Also as hard as it may be to accept this listen to what your husband believes is true with himself and remember you only just learned about this side of him he's probablly known about it since childhood, so remind him that when he tries to tell you how you should feel. If you want some one to talk to you're welcome to e-mail me anytime.

Tina

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Replies:

  • Re: Transgender Husband? -- Karen, 23:37:10 08/16/08 Sat
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