Friday, May 2, 2008 - New servers are in! Click-in for more info!
VoyForums

[ VoyUser Login optional ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 09:51:07 04/30/08 Wed
Author: beamer
Subject: Re: need some support
In reply to: Elise 's message, "Re: need some support" on 20:55:29 04/29/08 Tue

Confidence is a state of mind and unfortunately the sense of self worth is worn away at in marriages where the other partner is unable to be forthright about the deeply basic human issues we discuss here.

If a person could say to the other ... I love you but I am just not able to change my sexual oriantaion and I need to be sexually satisfied by a member of my own sex, and this has nothing to do with you, perhaps we would have blamed ourselves less, had less rotting going on in our deepest places from the doubts that cause that kind of self rot.

Confidence is something that can be built in many ways.
Experientially we can learn to overcome self limiting thoughts and see how it is the wrong thinking that we have come to practice regardless of the root cause ( justified or not). We can also continue to suffer from the original low self worth that sometimes we brought the seeds of to the relationship we are in and even those we manage to move beyond. ) We can make changes, but first we need to believe one thing... Have you ever seen anyone else CHANGE?

Yes you have...

Ok... so what is different about YOU that would make you unable to learn how to change and enjoy whatever benefits and costs that would come along with that.

Nothing is all good or easy. Anyone who has ever been into therapy knows that it's work. Work is not easy but we get things out of hard work and we are able to feel good about ourselves for having done that work and for what we derive from it.

It's the waiting, the non doing the waiting for the train to roll over us that makes us feel less and less worthy...we begin to believe we are not even worthy of change...

One BELIEF is all you need... to help you to create that first STEP in a direction... That is the beginning of your momentum that is directed by your thoughts and choices that leads to sore muscles, letting go of dishwashers in some cases ( private joke) and the deep feelings of triumph and satisfaction in being a woman ( or a man).

Love is the light that allows us to grow in our own realm and we can still love those that were unable to be for us what we wanted but had the courage to be able to seek in life. Love is not limited... its' not like money...there is always enough to go around .. You can love, forgive, move on discover, grow... and what is today your full life soon becomes a chapter in the book of your life that has taken on a new direction, some of which you have had power in setting the course on. Which makes you have CONFIDENCE.

Love and Light,
Beamer

Your wrote:

But I can't seem to get past the thought(due to my lack of confidence)that I will somehow end up worse off if I end this.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

  • Re: need some support -- p, 13:03:02 04/30/08 Wed
    [ VoyUser Login ] Not required to post.
    Post a public reply to this message | Go post a new public message
     * Notice: Posting problems? [ Click here ]
     * HTML allowed in marked fields.
    Message subject (required):

    Name (required):

      Expression (Optional mood/title along with your name) Examples: (happy, sad, The Joyful, etc.) help)

      E-mail address (optional):

    Type your message here:


    Notice: Copies of your message may remain on this and other systems on internet. Please be respectful.

    [ Contact Forum Admin ]

    Forum timezone: GMT-4
    VF Version: 2.94, ConfDB:
    Before posting please read our privacy policy.
    VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
    Copyright © 1998-2008 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.