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Date Posted: 17:52:34 05/07/08 Wed
Author: Liz
Subject: Re: Can we go back
In reply to: Cara 's message, "Can we go back" on 16:56:54 05/01/08 Thu

Hi Cara,

Kayhs response to your is spot on. As women how often do we sacrifice our lives for our loved ones. For me the answer is very clear--- too often.

It's sad your husband feels depressed, on anti-depressants and feels isolated but think about how he may have isolated you.

My former husband lied over and over again and then has the audacity to feel sorry for himself when I hold him accountable for his lies. It's always poor me, look what I've gone through. Look what I have done for you. I'm such a good guy even though I lied to you throughout our marriage. What about us as women. Do we not deserve joy and happiness.

I've been active on a gay site because I'm trying to understand men who aren't hiding in the closet and are out and not afraid to be gay. I respect that, but there was one thread where one man made some very disrespectful and rude comments about women who are or were married to gay closeted gay men.

Many women go to this site to try to understand the gay point of view and so they have a lot of questions. Understandably some men are offended by the generalization but I found enough anti-women views that made me sick to my stomach. The moderator has now banned straight women looking for answers from the site, which is fine. So, to get to my point... one man wrote... I don't miss the scorned women and other piped in with the same sort of answer.

With the exception of a few men, there was absolutely no compassion for the women who have been lied to. Basically they were told... don't bother us... its not our problem that you were scorned --- it's your closeted gay husband we will help.....but you keep out ---- we feel for your husband's confusion.....Those were not the words used but what I read between the lines.

Liz

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