Re: Can we go back -- SSN Forum

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Date Posted: 09:32:18 05/09/08 Fri
Author: Beamer
Subject: Re: Can we go back
In reply to: Cara 's message, "Can we go back" on 16:56:54 05/01/08 Thu

Hi Cara,

I try not to judge people, I think that we all do the very best we can under the circumstances and I have a lot of empathy and understanding for why people remain closeted in our society.

My husband has a gret closet, almost bullet proof I'd say, and it makes people question what I've done and who I am. I guess he likes people to think I'm the bad guy... that's ok.. I can take it... becaues I don't care what anyone thinks which I believe is in fact more healthy!

When I left my "poor man", closeted, latent homsexual husband, he became self destructive and amped up his drinking got scripts to all of the anti depressant blah blah bloo bloo bloo he could lay his hands on . I hated that doctors gave him things that made him much worse than he had ever been. I think it was all a scream for more attention that he was such a P O O R M A N.... finally after I REFUSED to aknowlege that he was poorer than anyone else " including ME"... and I told him that if he wanted to kill himself, then to keep it up ( thus LETTING GO) , he stopped it for the most part. (stopped the anti depressants and major drinking)

I used to work with addicts online and was addicted myself once in my life , long ago so I do understand some of the paths and roads that people can travel and how to get off of some of those paths and roads as well.

I think that people who have sexual conflicts about their own sexual satisfaction who are unable to or refuse to act on them for whatever reason create tremendous depression in their own lives. I personally don't believe that any amount of pills will cure a problem for which the root is not "addressed". That doesn't mean that sometimes someone can't benefit from anti depressants, but they are not a cure in themselves and people who don't preform introspection and gain a new perspective of the potential for their lives are just kidding themselves is my personal belief.

I think too many doctors prescribe these drugs without mandating the other kinds of help that people need to find a way to move ON with their own lives.

Could it be that moving in with the other person became simply not an option because the other person had something "else" going on? Of course when a man has been living with a "family" for so many years he is used to his comforts.

I think of it like this... my X husband was drowning in his own little mental muddle and using me like a "tube" to stay afloat. That worked GREAT for him... but I was having trouble to breath in my own life... and THAT is NOT ok, but I was so used to being the "tube"... I couldn't know that..

Now I am floating my own life... and it's been not easy but oh SO worth it... I've found out that my core is SO much deeper than I knew... I feel SO good about myself... and it continues to grow and I know moments of just sheer satisfaction that the tube used to know even dream of.

Love and Light,
Beamer

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Re: Can we go back -- Liz, 16:59:10 05/09/08 Fri

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