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Date Posted: 21:50:48 06/10/08 Tue
Author: Liz
Subject: Collateral Damage

In our spouses quest for their sexual identity it occurred to me only yesterday that we and our children have become collateral damage in the warring factions that goes inside their heads all these years of trying to figure out who they are. It's too bad we didn't get the same information. I may have helped him make up his mind and not wasted 18 years of my life and the loneliness I felt most of those years.

One friend recently told me that she didn't want to hurt my feelings but she often noticed the way my ex looked at me and it was often with contempt. She rarely saw warmth and love coming from him. Was I an idiot! Boy that hurt!

I sometimes wonder if my youngest daughter who is my most sensitive daughter would have been spared a mental illness if he could have been more present for us and loved us like a happy human being can. She felt so unloved, rejected and neglected by him and very frightened of his moods and angry outburst.

I feel so badly about this. The guilt never ends does it.

Liz

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