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Date Posted: 20:17:02 06/16/08 Mon
Author: Cherrie
Subject: Just a thought re "trauma"

I ran across an article on post-traumatic stress disorder and was pondering my own feelings of having been "traumatized" and "shell shocked" when my husband came out to me. So, I looked up the disorder on the internet and ran across something called chronic PTSD. It really hit home. I think I spent all my non-work hours (and quite a few work hours) for six months on my kitchen floor curled in a ball. And I don't remember much of that time at all. Lost tons of weight (the only positive side-effect of the whole thing :-)).

And it's not the first time I've been "there". I grew up in an emotionally-abusive home, and much of my emotional reaction to my husband's coming out was a replay of my reaction to childhood emotional abuse. So, it may be a pattern of sorts.

Anyway, I thought it might be a useful thought to throw out there in case anybody else feels like it might be helpful.

PS: I have an actual live boyfriend these days. Sweet as sweet can be... so he scares the shit out of me. :-) One of these days I may actually relax, trust, and simply love, but it is definitely a process that takes time.

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