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Date Posted: 22:03:47 09/01/08 Mon
Author: Alison
Subject: Re:No apologies just an ear to listen
In reply to: Thomas 's message, "Re:No apologies just an ear to listen" on 19:01:58 09/01/08 Mon

Hi Thomas
Well I wish that my now gay ex had have been as upfront and honest as you were. But he never possessed that strength of character!

But then saying that I wouldnt have the same two daughters that I have today, i cant imagine them being any different but they would be if borne to a different partner but then I would never have known any different and i wouldnt be without them.

All I know now is that his actions have left two young girls devastated and they both refuse to have any contact at all with their father, or in fact, acknowledge him as such. This may change in time as they further come to terms with it but I will not waste any time feeling sorry for him as he saw fit to enter a li[f]e of lies so whatever happens now is on his own head.

For me, altho devastated at first when it happened as i thought we had the 'perfect' relationship now i am actually grateful to him as i am in a new relationship and have never felt so fulfilled on every level. So i guess sometimes it takes something like this to happen to make you sit and realise just what was lacking from your relationship. Our once great sex life i now realise wasnt so great, yes it was frequent, but not great by any means! In truth we were two best friends who fell in love but now looking back see that it was more of a comfortable thing rather than true physical attraction.

For what he has done to his daughters, his own flesh and blood, I will never forgive him. Maybe they will and I will not force my feelings on them but wont lie that i am happy that they dont want to see him for the moment as they need time to get their own feelings on what has happened into perspective. We split in January of this year and the girls were not told initially, They found out at easter that their dad is bi/gay and that his boyfriend was our 17 year old lodger who they both didnt like much and thought of as an annoying elder brother they have not seen him at all. [why do gay men say they are bi when in fact they are gay? My ex told me that he wants intimacy with a man not a woman so how is that bi?]

What I dont like now though is due to their fathers actions and deceit, their attitude to gay people has changed dramatically. They are scornful and seem to detest anything 'Gay'. I try to tell them that most gay people are honest and do not do what their father has done as admit their sexuality even though they have the fear of rejection from their family and friends.

So I just want to say thank you for posting your initial post, I will ask my girls to read it [they are 12 and 9]. Hopefully it will point out to them that gay people are not bad after all.

luv Alison xxx

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