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Date Posted: 01:40:50 10/24/08 Fri
Author: Cherrie
Subject: Kids

I think this whole issue, what we beat our heads to death about, really hurts out kids a whole lot.

I have this issue, where I feel duped. It's a biggy. Massive. It yeally has hurt me horribly.

But imagine feeling the same way about your own father. That he duped you. That he presented himself as "this person" you identify with and then identified himself later as "somebody you never knew."

I don't think my ex gets that, but if he did, he would be horrified, but that is actually the sort of conversation I have had with my adult son.

His father was "someone". Then, being out of the closet gave him permission to be "somebody else." And "somebody else" is not in any way, shape or form better. It's not like he "reformed" in any way. This "sombody else" is kind of trivial to the extent that his previous self would have screamed "trivial" to his present self. I kid you not at all.

Ok. Confusing. Point blank. But "I'm gay" is not an excuse to be a seemingly-10-year-old nipple-piercing sex-obssessed 40-some-year-old.

And, well, show that to your kid, that that's what they see.

I am less angry now. Ok. But "coming out" needs to work better than this. It really does. "Coming out" for me has been "you're trivial." I hate that, but that's what it's been. And, for my son to see this thing is far worse. He really loves his father a whole lot.

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