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Date Posted: 00:15:33 05/24/09 Sun
Author: DianeS
Subject: Re: My wife came out, badly.
In reply to: Kev 's message, "My wife came out, badly." on 05:35:02 04/21/09 Tue

You said, "I should just pick myself up, forget the last 7 years and get on with it." As difficult as this is, 7 years is much easier than staying another 7. Take it from someone who knows. I kicked him out after 7 and then because he promised to change (again), wanted our family to stay together, agreed to counseling (again) and convinced me to renew our vows, since he'd changed so much and knew that part of his life was finished. I made it another 6 years, but let me tell you, the first 7 years were hard, but the last 6 were much worse. The longer you stay, the more damage there is to everyone involved. And why is it different from a heterosexual break up? For me, I felt it was worse because there was absolutely no way for me to compete with a man. When it's a heterosexual relationship and there's infidelity, you at least feel like you stand a chance of competing. This way, quite literally you don't have what it takes. That's so defeating. Living that way chips away at your self esteem and for me, I became someone I didn't even recognize. As difficult as this is now, let it be over with and then you can begin to heal.
Best wishes.
DianeS

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Replies:

  • Re: My wife came out, badly. -- Bob, 00:04:58 06/22/09 Mon
  • Re: My wife came out, badly. -- Liz (ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!), 03:02:53 06/22/09 Mon
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