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Date Posted: 22:56:16 06/13/09 Sat
Author: DianeS
Subject: Re: My apologies to all...
In reply to: Thomas 's message, "Re: My apologies to all..." on 09:49:57 08/31/08 Sun

Thomas,

I can't disagree with you when you say, "I truely feel that if society would have a different outlook on the gay issue and show acceptance then it could change the outcome and have a greater impact in preventing the make believe marriages. Just my own opinion." The problem is that that is not the case, at least not yet. It may be some day, but in the meantime it is going to come down to honesty and compassion on the part of the gay person. Honesty to admit that they should not get married to someone when they know they are gay. Honesty if they are not even sure, but they are struggling with it. And compassion for the straight person they are in a relationship with. I say compassion because if they knew what they were going to put that person they proclaim to love through in the years ahead, they would never do it. They also do not think of the possible consequences for any children who are caught up in the middle of such extreme turmoil, often for many years.

My ex-husband had struggled with his sexuality for a number of years before he met me. He did not tell me this though. What he did tell me was that he'd "had a couple of experiences with a teenage boy" when he was a teenager. Having recently read that this was not all that uncommon for teenage boys, I was not worried. What he neglected to tell me was that he'd actually been sexually abused along with many other boys by the chief of police in his hometown from the ages of 8-15 and that after that time he had had sex with boys or men almost exclusively. That's a far cry from a couple of teenage experiments. Had I known the WHOLE story, it would have been a different story than the story that is now a painful part of my past.

DianeS

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