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Date Posted: 23:54:27 06/29/09 Mon
Author: Maxpain (Very depress)
Subject: Is My wife having an emotional affair with her best girl friend of 25 years??

When I left for a year deployment to Iraq what I thought I had a marriage with two loving sons, caring wife, and the love of my life. We both cried for a long time when she left me at the armory the day we left. When I return home being of June, she was cold, distant and angry for reason I did not know until day after I got home. She told me she is emotional drain and does know if she has it in her to continue with the marriage. After a few days of talking and crying a whole bunch, she told me she has these not normal feelings for her best friend of 25 years and she was the maid of honor in our marriage. These feelings were more than sister loved or best friend love but what I said to her she is now the love of her love. She said what if she was and I told her if there is someone else, I do not want to compete for your love and nor should I. She must be sending at lease 40-60 text messages a day, hour on the phone before she goes to bed when she doesn’t go over to her place at night couple times a week.

Last week I called my wife out on this relationship and told her after she spent the entire day with her to spend the night at her place and see if your relationship goes to the next level. She back off quickly on this proposal and she had to think about what I had said. I don’t think its cold feet but the implication it may have if we start divorce procedures so she came home and she blame me or spin the story to justify what she is doing based on the emptiness she had during the past few years in our marriage. I had no clue and we went to separate counseling for few years with the same person none of this was brought up at all. I did not argue with her because I am waiting for my time.

Well because I was just getting off the plane from Iraq with all those issues from deployment and the nuke she did on me the first day back, by the end of the week I was in the hospital due to chest pains and my blood pressure went through the roof 165/115. They put me on anti depression medicine and sedative to help me sleep. After all this, our talks and her asking what I want from her she is still doing this stuff of walking out of the room or even the house when she wants to talk to her and the 4 or 5 dozen text messages a day. She also said she is extremely piss at me, angry and morning these past few years because I did not fill her emotional. I even got some marriage help books which she even got more pissed off at me.

I did a 180 on her and she did not expect this at all. She discounted me and how much I changed for the better because of the deployment so I think she is even pissed off about that reason why she keeps throwing the past feelings in my face to justify what she is doing. She realize how much I change for the good but she will not let me back into her heart or have any loving emotional feelings towards me because she is spending all of it on her best friend.

She said she is not gay. Because this is a total new realm I am in, is my wife bisexual? I saw it with my own two eyes the way my wife touch her best friends face going from check to check, holding hands, and my wife place her hand part way down her shirt maybe close to the based on her breast. Is she having an emotional affair and would this hold up in a court of law as cheating spouse? I don’t think they are having sex. I don’t know how to approach her or what to say, can someone give me some advice? Is getting a lawyer the next step or should I give it more time? She is not going to counseling or nor she is in favor in going to marriage counseling or read any help marriage books with me.

Thanks

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