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Date Posted: 13:32:57 07/01/09 Wed
Author: p (custody and "justice")
Subject: Re: Is My wife having an emotional affair with her best girl friend of 25 years??
In reply to: Liz 's message, "Re: Is My wife having an emotional affair with her best girl friend of 25 years??" on 12:23:47 07/01/09 Wed

Not sure where you live, but there are few if any states that consider adultery (and it is) a factor in custody issues.

One thing to do right away is begin keeping a journal of her behavior. Unless she is neglecting the children, the fact that she has been having an affair (and it IS, no matter what she calls it) has little or no legal bearing.

You may need to adopt the "count to 10" mantra sooner rather than later. I can promise you that unless she is willing to behave better than some of our gay/lesbian spouses, she may become someone you hardly recognize. Whatever you do, don't lose your temper...walk away.

You don't deserve this. Your children don't deserve this. If you are expecting that "justice" will be "just". I hate to disappoint. There is precious little that is either "just" or fair about any of this, unless she makes the choice to be more engaged in the process of being adult in this.

Make choices, when you can, that are in YOUR best interest, in the best interest of your children. They have likely been watching this whole thing unfold with you gone. That's alot, depending on their ages. They are going to want a Constant in their life. Given that mom has behaved in a way that is contrary to a loving and supportive wife, they need you to be as steady as possible.

I wish there were words that could make you hurt less.
Know that you will move through this. Know that it will not be easy. Know that you deserve more.

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