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Date Posted: 12:41:04 11/17/07 Sat
Author: p
Subject: Re: 2 years and still wondering ?
In reply to: Liz 's message, "Re: 2 years and still wondering ?" on 09:30:42 11/17/07 Sat

I rhink you intended this message for the original poster.
My husband told me he was gay. He just chose to wait 30 years.

As is said here often, "if something doesn't feel right, it isn't". A "good father" doesn't make him a good husband.
A good example doesn't deceive; either a wife or children.
He can still be a good father whether he's a husband or not.

At the end of the day what matters, in my opinion and my experience, is what YOU need from the relationship. Having to wonder on a regular basis, having to repeat HIV tests, having to exist with the denial and the excuses is a great deal of pressure. Children know. Children listen. Children sense the not-rightness in the home. They also assume that anything wrong is their fault and will do anything they believe they can to "fix" it.

What do YOU want in a relationship?
The fear of being alone and lonely is a powerful motivator to remain in a circumstance that requires more and more loss of self. In reality, you have been/are/will be alone and lonely with him in bed beside you. (I know. I lived it...before and after he came out.)

Best of luck.

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Replies:

  • Re: 2 years and still wondering ? -- lisa, 12:43:10 11/17/07 Sat
  • Re: 2 years and still wondering ? -- p, 01:19:15 11/18/07 Sun
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