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Date Posted: 23:28:29 07/18/09 Sat
Author: Maxpain (Its over)
Subject: Re: Is My wife having an emotional affair with her best girl friend of 25 years??
In reply to: Tim 's message, "Re: Is My wife having an emotional affair with her best girl friend of 25 years??" on 18:33:59 07/16/09 Thu

The white flag went up today and I knew I was fighting a losing battle as soon I got back from Iraq. I am hoping I can wrap the end of this marriage up within a couple of months and start the healing process. I have a long painful road ahead of me. It’s like going back to military basic training were the drill sergeants break you down and then slower build you back up again which in turn you will be a better, stronger and instilled with all those values that I talked about. The path I am undertaking is breaking old codependent habits that made survival each day a joke in relationships. I see now that I attracted unhealthy relationships and try to make the best of what I have. I even help self-destruct the relationships as well saying when this relationship will end. This is my new basic camp. If that is a BIG IF, I hope when I am done with blazing a new path of unknown destination, there will be someone very special out there for me. However, after having two marriages ending up in adultery affairs, it is going to be hard to break that self-destructing mind set.

I have two wonderful, exciting and loving sons that I hope I will not lose the faith. These past few days tested my will to keep the faith and not lose the love I have for my boy, my drive to be with them, the drive to keep living. I had a friend, a civilian that I worked with over in Iraq and I told him the week when I got back what was going on in my life. He told me as thou he had a crystal ball and said point blank, get a lawyer, take care of those boys, and take care of yourself. It’s not worth hanging on; no point in changing her, she cheated on you no matter if it was a guy or female and only you can change yourself. He knew the marriage was over in his first email I got back from him because he went through hell in his first failed marriage and also a codependent to a T. His first wife was cheating on him for 2-3 years with his co-workers and she blamed everything on him until he realized after months of therapy it was not his fault. He just attracted unhealthy relationship.

I believe Kevin summarize it all up by saying we demand more, we expect more, we deserved more because we are good people and we have a lot to offer in return. This will be my battle cry going forward.

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