Run like your hair is on fire.... -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 12:08:11 01/14/16 Thu
Author: Kel
Subject: Run like your hair is on fire....
In reply to: Lynn 's message, "suspicions" on 20:12:04 01/13/16 Wed

First of all, The Gay Thing (TGT) is like an iceburg - you only get to see the little portion sticking up above the water. And you think, "Well, that's not.... SO bad". Only that's not the whole truth. It's only what he's failed to HIDE from you. And he's failed to hide it because he for some reason didn't think it'd be seen. Maybe because he's been doing it for so long without you seeing the evidence that he became comfortable that he was safe. Trust me when I say that there is LOT more - for a LONG time - than you know about.

NO, straight men are NOT interested in watching gay sex. EVER. PERIOD. The only men that say that are gay men that want to keep doing it without losing their "straight" card. I've seen some things over time (with regards to porn) that I viewed only out of curiosity - I can remember watching fisting when someone mentioned it at a party while drunk. We booted the laptop up and bam - we were all watching (and turning our heads away from) fisting. Have I EVER gone back to repeatedly watch it? No. Why? Because now I know what it is. I understand it. And it doesn't excite me. You don't go back and repeatedly view something unless you're INTO it. Ask any man who is a regular viewer of porn. They'll tell you that there are a few things that they're excited by, and they go to those things over and over again. They may occasionally check out something else that caught their eye. But unless it excited them, they're not hitting that as their regular spank bank. They've got their go-to stuff, and THAT is what they GO.TO. So if you're seeing gay stuff, it's a go-to. Because it excites him. Because he has same-sex attraction. PERIOD.

And I don't care what anyone says, you DON'T look on Craigslist for hookups unless you're cruising for something you like. Even if a case could be made that the CL personals are highly entertaining (they can be), you should have seen traffic in ALL entertaining areas - M4W, W4M, W4W, T4M, etc. Not JUST M4M. That's very telling. And NOT in a good way if you're claiming to be straight.

What about the rest of your intimate life? Is sex infrequent and/or perfunctory? Does he seldom do things like chase after you or show his desire for you? Are there bedroom problems like a complete lack of creativity, erection problems, and delayed orgasm? Are you often rejected when you make advances? Do you feel ugly and unwanted for the complete lack of sexual attention coming your way from him? If so, then there is more here than just a porn habit. These are all classic symptoms that the man is NOT straight.

Get out before it gets more complicated. Which it is BOUND to do. Because a) TGT's pull seems to become stronger over time, and b) Counseling will lead nowhere except to him learning that he's gay or you learning that he's not completely straight and that you need to decide how you're going to handle it. Whatever this thing is, it's NOT what you signed up for. RUN.

Kel

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Run like your hair is on fire.... -- Melissa, 23:48:05 01/14/16 Thu
- They may look at it due to trauma.... -- Kel, 11:40:32 01/15/16 Fri
  - Re: They may look at it due to trauma.... -- Melissa, 14:42:05 01/15/16 Fri
    - Until he decides to work on his problem(s),.... -- Kel, 14:55:55 01/15/16 Fri
      - Re: Until he decides to work on his problem(s),.... -- Rob (looking forward ..), 16:56:47 01/15/16 Fri
        Re: Until he decides to work on his problem(s),.... -- Cheri, 23:01:31 01/17/16 Sun
      - Re: Until he decides to work on his problem(s),.... -- Melissa, 17:42:16 01/15/16 Fri
  - Re: They may look at it due to trauma.... -- Abby (musing), 14:52:44 01/15/16 Fri
    - I'd hope MOST babies were cuddled by their mothers! -- Kel, 16:00:54 01/15/16 Fri
    - Re: They may look at it due to trauma.... -- Mary, 10:26:29 01/22/16 Fri
  - "you're born with a clean slate" ? are you? -- lily, 17:05:34 01/15/16 Fri
    - I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- Kel, 17:23:00 01/15/16 Fri
      - Re: I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- lily, 19:52:31 01/15/16 Fri
        Re: I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- Melissa, 22:26:58 01/15/16 Fri
        Re: I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- lily, 02:45:13 01/16/16 Sat
        I think you kind of missed my point..... -- Kel, 02:25:16 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: I think you kind of missed my point..... -- lily, 14:22:09 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- Jen, 23:16:36 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: I didn't say we were born without a personality..... -- lily, 10:25:56 01/18/16 Mon
    - Re: "you're born with a clean slate" ? are you? -- Melissa, 17:39:45 01/15/16 Fri
      - Re: "you're born with a clean slate" ? are you? -- Lily, 19:14:11 01/15/16 Fri
        Re: "you're born with a clean slate" ? are you? -- Lake Breeze (Re Blank Slate/Tabula Rasa), 20:20:41 01/15/16 Fri
        90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- Kel, 02:07:38 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- lily, 14:40:58 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- Melissa, 16:03:55 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- lily, 19:08:42 01/17/16 Sun
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- Mary, 23:28:28 01/23/16 Sat
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- Mary, 23:32:31 01/23/16 Sat
        Re: 90% of chilhood sexual abusers are at the hands of men... -- lily, 05:35:30 01/25/16 Mon
Re: Run like your hair is on fire.... -- Vicky, 15:44:18 03/03/16 Thu