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Date Posted: 12:26:11 05/19/16 Thu
Author: WendiT
Subject: Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT
In reply to: Casseopia 's message, "Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT" on 11:40:34 05/19/16 Thu

I found out about my X's SSA after we divorced.

I have a sibling who is a counselor and who has researched and written a book on childhood sex abuse. When I told this family member about my X's same sex exploits, they opined: "He has a stain on his brain. He is reenacting something that someone did to him and what happened to him was not nice."

Would this knowledge have saved my marriage? No, it would have prolonged it. I would have felt very sorry for him and I would have stayed despite the fact that our relationship was not good for me. He had been abused in his past. In our relationship he eventually became the abuser and I became the abusee. I spent years in our marriage wondering when Prince Charming would re-appear. I became stuck trying to figure him out.

He immediately remarried and still secretly meets up with other married men. Is he gay? Is he Bi? Is he pan? Who knows? I am like so many here, I will never know what he is or why; and God knows I spent hours trying to understand. All I know is that he is broken and I could never have been healthy with him no matter how much I had loved him.

At some point in the healing process it no longer matters why or what. At some point what matters is YOU. The healing is a definitely a process you move through.

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