Re: what do I do? -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 14:21:13 05/25/16 Wed
Author: Patti (welcome)
Subject: Re: what do I do?
In reply to: rachel 's message, "what do I do?" on 02:36:20 05/25/16 Wed

Hi Rachel,
Welcome.

You know what you know. It's what you choose to do about it that is most important.
He's gay. Period. Str8 men don't behave in that way. Ask as str8 man.

He is who he is. He isn't the man you believed him to be. He is the man he needs you to believe him to be. Big difference. Unless you're celibate, it's quite likely that he has had sex with at least one gay man. As a result, he has now make you the sexual partner of all of their partners. Am I trying to frighten you? I am.
He has the right to "be", but not at the risk of endangering you.

You may want to scroll down to the thread here about sexual abuse and sexual orientation. Many of us here were abused in some way (I was). I love men. I always have. The molestation in no way made me attracted to women. He's using that as an excuse. You'll hear all kinds of them.

There is a fairly large group of str8s in the UK.
If you would like to email me privately, I will be glad to share your email address with them.

Know two things: you did NOTHING to make him gay and you are not alone in this.

I don't know about the laws there. I am aware that they are a bit different than the laws here. I don't know how the absence of a marriage document might affect your financial status, relative to your child/ren is addressed. I would strongly suggest that you contact an attorney sooner rather than later, so you have some sense of your options.

He's gay.
Not all closeted gay men choose to cheat.
He didn't choose his orientation. Who is the world would choose to be gay, in this society?
He DID choose he behavior.

Protect yourself legally and financially as best you can.

We're here for you.

If you have a FB account, there is also a private str8s FB page.

Please continue to post.
Sending you strength and big hugs.

Patti in CA

Make a plan. Step away from any more confrontations with him, for now. It will serve no purpose and he will just deny it all.

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Replies:

Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 15:08:59 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- lily, 18:01:22 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- Patti (email), 19:24:41 05/25/16 Wed
Re: what do I do? -- Jude, 11:50:46 05/26/16 Thu