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Date Posted: 12:43:16 05/26/16 Thu
Author: Kel
Subject: Lol!
In reply to: Rob 's message, "Re: Gotta say how proud of all of you that I am" on 00:00:45 05/26/16 Thu

I've tried to sit down and write it, I really have. I don't get far between the full-time job and the newer husband and the four kids and the dog, and all that comes with it. Lol.

I start, and then I realize that I'm not sure if I'm actually offering a unique perspective without actually researching and probably reading all the books out there on this subject first. And honestly, considering that this issue is in my past, I don't know if I have the appetite to consume all that material on something I've moved past.

The next this is that TGT shrouded in mystery. Is being gay inborn? What defines "gay"? Is there any room for coming back to a healthy marriage after finding ONE thing (like proof of a spouse looking at gay porn online)? It's not that I don't have feelings about these and many other things. But my strength lies more in the moving on part - after someone has decided that there is an issue and they've tried, and it's unsolvable. Or after cheating has actually occurred. What if..... my book throws MORE chaos into the reader's world because I'm so certain and outspoken about getting out due to the fact that once you see the evidence, the problem has already grown to cancer-like proportions? Is there room for someone to screw up and come back from it? I.don't.know.

I haven't put enough thought into what I'd like my book's perspective to be from. Heck, it'd be perfect if it was just a huge composite of all the posts here. As I said earlier, there is power in knowing that a) you're not alone, b) what you're being told by your spouse has all been said before, and it's likely not true, and c) You can do this.

I should just sit down and write out an outline or something, rather than just trying to write.

Here's a question for you guys. Have you read the books out there? Were they helpful? What were they missing? When you went to find a book, what was the main objective? Was it in finding a clear answer about whether your spouse was gay, or how to navigate through it?

Thanks, all -

Kel

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