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Date Posted: 16:54:34 05/26/16 Thu
Author: lily
Subject: Re: A familiar pattern
In reply to: Susan 's message, "A familiar pattern" on 04:41:46 05/26/16 Thu

mine was too tired on the wedding night too!

I had a good mum but my father was not - a narcissist, so I was vulnerable to accepting the blame.

My ex played it for all he was worth. I just about defined myself as the person with such a bad father I was lucky anybody spent time with me at all.

Over time things got worse and worse, it was the same for me. Stark. I knew how much I was at risk if I stayed, I might as well face the dangers of striking out on my own. Only me to rescue me. but I always knew I needed to help myself first and then others would be able to help me too.

yes, I learnt the anger was justified and didn't make me a bad person, it gave me the energy to move.

Then after I finally left him I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in many years and he knew me before my ex met me and he reminded me of how I was back then - far more sassy, far less worry about myself than I had acquired with my ex - and I am more like that again now.

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