Author:
Betsy RN
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Date Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2012, 12:58: am
How it all started: I was 16, & volunteered, as a lot of girls do, at a nursing care facility. Wed push the patients around in wheelchairs, feed them, read to them, help with the trays, etc. I got to know Al a nice looking 42 YO man who had been in an auto accident and sustained brain damage. He was married; his wife came in frequently. He could speak only a little, feed himself most of the time, walk with assistance, but left alone hed just sit there. He was also incontinent, meaning we used diapers on him. He couldnt tell us when he went #1 or #2. One evening the aide asked for help with Al. The other aide was not to be found & it took 2 persons to change him. I hadnt ever seen a man before, or a woman patient for that matter. But she needed help. We got him to the toilet, stood him up and got his pants down. She handed me a pair of gloves, meaning she expected me to help. I peeled off my side of the wet diaper, and my eyeballs popped out. This guy was huge, even soft. I dumped the diaper & steadied him while the aide wiped & dried him. The cabinet behind us had no diapers. She cursed, and said she had to get a box down the hall, then asked me to keep him standing and hold his penis pointing at the toilet in case he urinated. When I hesitated she said, Its just like holding a sausage. It wont bite. I picked it up and pointed it toward the bowl. Satisfied she left. The small amount of stimulation was enough for him to get an erection. I didnt know men dont pee while erect so I pushed it down toward the bowl. I was nervous, embarrassed, but tried not to show it. The aide came back and we diapered, dressed and got him back in the wheelchair. Als wife was waiting as we exited the bathroom. Knowing Id helped she thanked me, just a candy-striper, specially for taking care of her husband. Then she turned to her husband, Can you say thank you to Betsy, Al. I didnt expect him to respond, but he waved and said, Thank you, B-Betsy. That was the warmest moment I ever had. It was the moment I decided that caring for people in need was the career for me. There are tasks an aide does that are a lot more stressful the first time. I think cleaning up fecal material is the worst: dirty diaper, enema, disimpaction (manually removing hard stool from the anus) are smelly. In nursing school, the first time I saw a delivery, it was even more shocking, with all the blood and fluid.
Later in the break room the aides were laughing when I entered. As I suspected, Id been set up. They knew what would happen when I touched him. But they sobered up when I told them how I felt about being thanked, and that being stressed was worth receiving the gratitude. They let me do more patient care bit by bit, even helping with Als dirty diapers. After a couple months I could do anything, with no stress. Al recovered enough after 9 months to go home. He could walk & feed himself. With bowel training he had no dirty diapers, and was mostly urine continent. His wife sent everyone, including me, a bouquet of flowers. A few months later I went to CNA school in the summer (only 90 days), & later my RN, BSN, and Masters degrees, & Nurse practitioner certification. All because of the gratitude of a patient and his wife.
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