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Subject: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Sarah
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Date Posted: Monday, May 13, 2013, 07:01: pm

Is it unusual for a spouse to want you to go with them to their yearly physical and prostate exam? Do any other men like their spouse to go for this? They will most likely do a exam on the prostate and other private areas.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Ed
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Date Posted: Monday, May 13, 2013, 11:07: pm

Personally, I think the DRE is the most humiliating, embarrassing, and undignified routine medical procedure we endure. An extra pair of eyes witnessing just adds to the humiliation! However, if she expressed a desire to be present, after explaining why I preferred she did not, if she still wanted to, I would honor her wishes.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
BottmsUpTX
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Date Posted: Saturday, March 15, 2014, 05:04: am

I was at the Uro in Dec. He brought in a female doc (asked permission) I said ok. He did his genital exam on me and then had me bend over the table and put his finger in my rectum. Was very humiliating for both exams. I felt uneasy about saying no to the female doc though.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
John-Modest
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Date Posted: Saturday, March 15, 2014, 10:37: am

Completely agree. My wife has never expressed an interest to see my physicals. I'm totally ambivalent, if she ever expressed a desire to be at one I wouldn't care.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
John-Modest
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Date Posted: Sunday, March 16, 2014, 09:12: am

>>Completely agree. My wife has never expressed an interest to see my physicals. I'm totally ambivalent, if she ever expressed a desire to be at one I wouldn't care.<<

I was referring to Eds post about his wife, not the post about the female doctor/observer.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Tom
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Date Posted: Thursday, March 27, 2014, 12:57: pm

My wife has asked what happens during my physical. I told her she can come anytime she wants to see. I told her what happens which must have satisfied her because she has not come to my physical exam. I have no objections to her being there.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Rodger
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Date Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013, 07:47: am

My ex has gone with me, but much to my surprise, my male doc asked her to step outside during the DRE. She is a nurse practitioner.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Peter
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Date Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013, 05:39: pm

My wife accompanied me to my last physical exam including prostate exam and blood tests due to another medical issue and she came for support. It was all very clinical and I appreciated her being there and her assistance.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Charlie (wife accompanies)
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Date Posted: Friday, May 31, 2013, 08:27: pm

I have a great secretary---Thye have a very happy and interdependent marriage---She alwas asks for time off when her husband goes to the docto as she says her husband is nervous and wants her in the room--even for a physical--Its finer she takes the time off and her husband finds her a comfort in the doc's office---Her husband is a great big strong construction worker so I am surprised he is 'nervous or shy' when getting a physical---but he wants her there---Do others think this is a little unusual or do you think alot of guys want their wives at physicals--Their level of love and trust is amazing

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Tony
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Date Posted: Sunday, January 26, 2014, 01:20: am

I am not married so I always asked my dad to come with me to the doctor. I am like the construction worker referenced above. I always get nervous going to the doctor and while he was alive it was nice having dad come with me. I wasn't embarrassed at all that he was in the exam room with me.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Rodger
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Date Posted: Saturday, March 29, 2014, 04:52: am

I recently had a prostate cancer scare. When I went to the urologist, I took my gf with me. He told me that he was going to press on my prostate to obtain a sample of fluid for microscopic examination, and suggested that the gf might want to leave, but I told him she could stay. Turns out I had an infection, no cancer, at least not yet. They say that all men will get it if they live long enough. I'm 69. The gf is 48.

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[> Subject: Spouse at the physcial


Author:
Betsy RN
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Date Posted: Friday, April 04, 2014, 04:46: pm

10-20 times a year spouse comes along for the physical. S/he has seen and touched everything for years. Why not let spouse watch. A man would have a chance to kick wife out when everything's been done except the genital/rectal exam or even after the genital exam. Wife has always watched. No big deal.

For women same thing: we take time to set up. wife has chance to kick hubby out. Couple times a year she does. Rest of time he usually sits at her head and holds her hand. Sometimes he wants to watch. Some wives don't want him to. Most tell him to go ahead.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Spouse at the physcial


Author:
Ed
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Date Posted: Monday, April 07, 2014, 09:02: pm

"Why not let spouse watch."

No disrespect intended but you just don't get it Becky.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Spouse at the physcial


Author:
tom
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Date Posted: Thursday, August 14, 2014, 11:49: am

Does not get what? If both spouses and the doctor are fine with the situation then what's the issue? It's simply a matter of personal preference. I would not want my wife present during my exams. My doc is female and I like it that way. That's me. Simple.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spouse at the physcial


Author:
Ed
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Date Posted: Thursday, August 14, 2014, 08:59: pm

Does your Doc utilize a female assistant to spread your cheeks apart for the prostate exam because Betsy does and thinks it's perfectly okay.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spouse at the physcial


Author:
Tom
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Date Posted: Saturday, August 16, 2014, 09:23: pm

No. It's just me and the doc. But if she asked me if her assistant could be present I would have no issues. Even if she didn't ask and had her come in I would be fine.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Abigail RN
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Date Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2014, 04:01: pm

A couple years ago, I went with my husband to see his doctor when he started complaining about sharp pain and fullness in his perineum. Knowing as a nurse, I was scared to death it could be you know what, but he seemed to want to put up with it or hope it would go away. I made the appointment for him, luckily one of the few Saturday morning times available. I practically had to be a bitch to get him in the car to go. I went back there with him because I wanted to tell his doctor the full story that he might "forget" to bring up. She asked him if he could pee a steady stream. He said he could but it hurt a little. She said she needed to give him a rectal exam, and asked us if we'd be comfortable with me staying or leaving the room as she started putting on exam gloves and reached for a tube of lubricant. He looked at me in discouragement and shook his head okay. I told him "baby you needed to have this done a long time ago." She had lay on his left side in left-sims fashion with his right knee flexed. When she entered him he immediately grimaced and almost came off the table with a loud "Owwww." She had her index and middle finger up his butt as far as they would go for several seconds. She pulled out and promptly said "you've got an inflamed prostate. It's called prostatitis." She wiped excess lube out of his crack, and he gathered what dignity he had left by getting dressed. I felt bad for him, because I know it was embarrassing and it was painful physically. But he needed to get it over with. The doctor wrote him a prescription for two horse size antibiotic pills, and a nurse gave him a shot....in the butt, which also hurts because I give erythromycin shots to patients too. He just wanted to go home and lay down. His prostatitis dried up in about 4 days, and in the end he was glad I made him go have it looked at. In the last year or so, I've been milking his prostate at least twice a month, especially if we've gone spells without intercourse. It took him a while to be comfortable having me stick my fingers up his butt, but he doesn't mind it much anymore because I make it feel good for him. All men should have this done to prevent problems. And all women should learn how to perform "prostate maintenance" on their guy....something that doesn't get taught in the owner's manual of marriage.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Bare Bottom
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Date Posted: Sunday, May 04, 2014, 02:16: pm

Abigail,
You are a good wife and caregiver. Two years ago I had some discomfort "down there" so I went to my doc turned out it was a hernia that required surgery. I told him I felt like a wuss for coming in when I wasn't sure something was actually wrong. Naturally, he said it was OK and then added "You know, I see folks from all over the world and it's almost always the wives who bring in the husbands or make them come see me." So you are part of a large and important cohort.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Bill
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Date Posted: Wednesday, August 13, 2014, 07:12: pm

My wife wanted to go when we were younger every year but as we got older,our work schedules didn't always allow it.I have been to my wife's GYN visits also.No big deal.The only times we each go to the others visits now is if there is a problem or if we get a new Doctor.We have seen enough exams that we know when each other is getting a competent exam or not and will say so to the Doctor if they are not.

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[> Subject: Re: Go with male to physical and prostate exam


Author:
Rich
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Date Posted: Wednesday, August 20, 2014, 04:13: pm

I'm not married, but I did have a doctor perform a DRE on me and the student doctor with him, a female, observe then actually do it also as he coached her along. It was not a hassle in any respect for me. If married would I have a problem? Probably not, but to assure things went well, I'd ask my physician first if he/she were OK with a spouse being present.
I would also think, the couple's level of intimacy would be a factor to be considered as well.

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