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Date Posted: 19:25:57 07/17/02 Wed
Author: june
Subject: life outside the box

thanks for your response!

it truly is a comfort to me. i have long been with my back against the wall over this issue. i have a family, and i'm the only one not trapped in the box. i have been alone, in this, for years and years. now, as you pointed out, there are four!! (actually, it was ron that i unintentionally left out, at first, because i hadn't quite noticed his conversation until after i put in my two-cents worth.)

i will come clean here and admit that i have, on occasion, indulged in a movie or a show, but to me, it is what i
m-i-g-h-t do--a couple of times a year, not what i do--hour after hour--week after week. it is not uncommon for me to resent t.v., for the time it sucks out of my life (yes, 2nd hand t.v.! we should sue for damages! haha!) yet, i don't feel honor bound to complete abstinence, either.

i feel myself wondering if the words stephanie, ron, or you have written here, were actually copied from something i've written or said, somewhere, in the past. i worry about the effect of movies and video games on the people i have to share the world with. i have a lot of "better things" to do, and yet, i often find myself feeling immobilized by the fact that my family has, yet again, been vacuumed back into the box. i have this urge to play rescuer. i recognize, that turning my back on it and d-o-i-n-g something with my family, anything that is better (which includes almost everything), and for them it must be more fun, is really the way to lead them out of despair.

i began living life mostly outside of the box at about age 19. i'm now 43. it began with a sort of: "cold turkey" quit, then plucking additional periods of wasted time out of my life was more gradual. there have been periodic visits back to the box (more than just an educational afternoon or an evening documentary) that were punctuated with severe depression or sadness for having sunk so low as to let t.v. steal so many of my potential "moments" in life.

the fact that there is a stephanie, jonathan, and a ron, in the world makes me feel empowered!!! i don't have to feel like i must either join in the insanity or stay in a separate world, all by myself. thanks for being there. this is just what i was looking for!

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