| Subject: emotionally written |
Author:
TiFfAnY
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Date Posted: 21:00:02 08/30/04 Mon
I have cried myself to sleep two painful nights in a row,
I have bit my lip,
Fighting back the tears where it does not show,
My insides are raw,
From being bit, gnawed and chewed to the brink of tears,
I have not felt so much angst in my whole 16 years,
I wonder how long you can go on like this,
How long will it take you to notice something is wrong,
How many nights will I sleep on a soggy mess,
When will you look up and realize I hate this,
When will you come up to me and hold me in your arms and apologize,
Never,
That is when,
My worry was you were nothing but a friend,
That I was not attractive,
That you didn't love me like that,
But a friend would have noticed by now,
How my voice quivers and shakes,
The sad thing is I don't think I even care anymore,
I have accepted that it is over,
Now I am just going through the motions,
I still call you out of habit,
To tell you good night and sweet dreams,
It is out of old devotions,
I am sure sooner or later I won't even do that anymore,
It will be like it was before,
Before there was a Scott and Tiffany,
When they were two seperate entities,
I sit here writing this on my bed,
Crouched in the fetal position while you are resting your head,
My mind is clear,
That scares me the most,
Because now I am just waiting for you to put this relationship out of its misery,
I feel no need to call and rise you from your sleep,
For now these feelings will be for me to keep,
I fear there really is no more,
No hope for you and I,
I think that is why I just sit here and cry,
It is over now,
I really do believe,
The idea once unbelieveable,
I am finally able to conceive,
I am not crazy, depressed or pmsing,
I am not blowing anything out of proportion or guessing,
I have realized where I stand,
I stand no longer beside you,
I stand somewhere in the past,
What is the point of pretending,
Avoiding the inevitable,
You do not enjoy spending time with me,
You would rather be doing something else,
We are only together out of habit,
Because "we look so cute together" and "we have been together forever"
But right now I am not happy,
Not with tears streaming from my eyes,
Not being pushed off to the side...
.............
Not not being loved,
And you do not love me.
I think you think you do,
But right now I don't feel it...
When I hear "I Love You."
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