I NEED ADVICE ABOUT MY GRANDMA'S DEATH!!! -- Hi guys and girls!!

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Subject: I NEED ADVICE ABOUT MY GRANDMA'S DEATH!!!

Author:
Clem

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Date Posted: 17:01:27 09/14/06 Thu

please could you help!!!!

I desperately need some advice...you see about 4 years back now..my Grandmother of whom I was very close to died. I still can't come to terms with it....and need some help with some questions. Can anyone help?????

I have two cousins who live in Germany, only they used to fly over to England each
year and stay at Grandma's house for a few weeks during the holidays. I used to see them
then. Grandma was the one thing connecting us. However now that Grandma's died I don't
know what to do about them. I haven't been in contact with them properly since my
Grandma died.they can't stay over here in England anymore because my mum doesn't
like them...so won't let them stay over with us. they have only over to England once for
two days since Grandma died(they had to stay in a local B&B).
What should i do about them? what is the right thing to do? what is expected of me and
what would Grandma have wanted? should i keep in touch/have kept in touch with my cousins after Grandma's death?
also i am
worried because I was having problems coping at shool (I refused to go on-and-off for my
first two years in high school as i didn't want to move on after the death of Grandma and
also could not deal with the death of someone else of whom i was close to and sort of lost
control of my life a bit...then i ended up refusing to go to school altogether at the end of
my second year and ended up with 5 measly hours of home tuition per week forthe last
three years which should have been spent in school. I them failed all my GCSEs apart
from getting a D/C in English. I know i made a terrible mistake and i can't believe what I've
done but at the time I wasn't thinking logically about what i was doing as i was in a state
of severe depression.)and if i contact my cousins again they're going to ask about what i'm
studying and I'll have to explain why I'm on a low level college course.I feel like i can't
contact them because how on earth can i explain how I failed all my GCSEs and wouldn't
go to school. They're going to think I'm a bad person. and i cannot conceal it from them as
they are really well educated and will notice the huge gaps in my knowledge just by
talking to me. What should i do about them? Should I .....never speak to them ever again/avoid them? or tell them what i did :( ? if so the what should I do if they think really really badly of me? Or should I....lie to them, and tell them that I passed my exams (this is what my parents want me to do) but they will be able to tell about my lack of education by my huge gaps in knowledge just by talking to me. What should I do about tham?
Also I don't think that i'll be able to visit Germany when i grow up since i am too uneducated...i don't know how to travel--or speak German.
.
Also(this is probably going to sound like a VERY strange question) but when Grandma was around she used to buy me lots of videos (especially Disney type ones) and I just wondered (i know i'm too old for them really but.....) would it have been insulting to her memory if I'd continued to watch this type of film after her death. Also....she bought me a lot of model horses/toys. Would it be insulting to her memory if I was to continue to play with these in the same way after her death?????????????????????

Also I missed practiacaly all of my secondary educationn... therefore I also missed Religious Education? I don't understand/get where my Grandma went? Do you know how i can learn about Religion now? Do they run R.E GCSE classes at college?
Also this might seem an obvious question (but just needed to check) but do they give a good all-round general education in R.E in school(sorry if this seems a stupid question)??
By the way what happens to the ashes of a cremated person?? I know her ashes are sprinkled in the Garden Of rememberence at the crematorium. But WHERE do they sprinkle them? e.g. is it all in the same place? or would they have been spread about? And upon what surface are they spread on?
e.g. grass??? I'm sorry...it's just I honestly do not know.

Also I never got to speak to her before she died and was also never allowed to attend her funeral. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can say goodbye to her now???
This may sound odd...but I sort of wanted to go to the garden of Rememeberence where her ashes are and say goodbye out loud. Can I do this? Or is this not normal& would I likely get stared at? please be honest.if this is the case then have you got any other ideas as to how I can say goodbye?

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