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Pageant Mom in Midwest
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Date Posted: 00:45:17 01/02/05 Sun
This handbook is great! I wish I would have read it before we went to Nationals this summer!
My 3 1/2yr old entered her first pageant at the State level and won, our family is very low-income but we managed to get enough sponsors to send her to nationals with high hopes, we even put in our rent money to get her there, we felt she had a very good chance of winning, it was a "natural" pageant.
When we got to the hotel and lined up for registration and I saw how the other girls and moms were dressed just to register I about died, I knew right then we were way out of our league.
I had a fairly nice glitz dress I bought used and really added to it with more rhinestones, we got all her pro-am stuff at Wal-Mart. She did really well in the Pro-Am, and won best dress overall at nationals with her secondhand dress I had added on to, BUT we were still way way way out of our league!
I had no idea you had to have a portfolio to have any chance of making top ten, because the rules say it is not "required". After talking to other moms at the pageant, I learned that the rules might say it is not required, but no one has ever advanced without one.... we had no professional photos at all and I didn't even have a professional headshot for the program. Now I know better, but it was a costly way to learn!
At one point during the competition I was in tears and near complete meltdown because we were so unprepared, I was just thinking it would be different than it really was. Many of the toddlers did have really big hair and makeup and custom dresses, which I was not expecting and could have preapred for had I known. Talking to their moms I discovered some of them spent like $700 and up on their dresses, we had spent about $150 on ours. I was also very underdressed, because even the other pageant moms who went onstage with their toddlers were very well dressed, I was dressed typical rural midwest WalMart. (I don't think I have even owned an item of clothing that didn't come from Walmart in years).
Looking back it was a good experience overall but at the time I was so stressed out about the fact we were spending thousands of dollars we didn't have because we thought she actully had a chance... and dealing with the emotional pain of realizing she didn't stand a chance....so I didn't enjoy the moment when I should have because of feeling so far outclassed, outspent, outexperienced and outprepared.
I wish looking back that I had known just a little bit more and we would have arrived a little more prepared emotionally, as well as clothes-wise and would have just enjoyed the whole process and event that much more!
I had more than one really really hurtful comment from other pageant moms who were more Southern Glitz oriented that kind of made me feel like the dumb country hick in the big city, or at least feeling like that was how they viewed us. I also met some really really wonderufl, nice helpful pageant moms who gave me great advice about how to improve in the future. So if you are a newbie, just smile and be friendly to everyone, and if one mom is mean to you, shake it off and smile at the next mom, she just might be more friendly! Don't be afraid to let other moms know this is your first National, some of them will really help you out with suggestions and where you are supposed to be/go etc...
I decided after that experience to compete at the State level for a few years until she is older and has more experience, and we can gradually afford to invest more in pageants if she continues to love it.
The good news is that the Nationals we went to had enough extra-curricular activities that we both loved that made the whole event fun even with the realization we were out of our league.
My advice for new pageant moms:
If you are going to Nationals as a "newbie", fresh from winning your first State pageant, only do so considering it a "vacation" with a pageant as one focus rather than the pageant "being" the whole trip, that way if you don't win you will still have a great memory and experience and the money you spent won't seem so bad or stressful.
If you are on a budget or struglling financially, don't even try Nationals, it will be way to stressful on you, stick with the State pageants for a while where you can compete, have fun, spend a lot less, win a crown, make friends and feel like you are on a fair competition level, then you can always go to a National later on. Some pageants REQUIRE you to go on to the next level or you forfeit the crown, though so check ahead of time.
Check out consignment and auctions for good dresses that you can add on to or adjust if needed, we did very well with ours, and spent less than $150 on her National dress that way.
Pageants are supposed to be fun fun fun, so if you get in over your head it will take away from the fun (as I learned). Go slowly and make sure that you are totally prepared for Nationals when you go so that you can have a great time, and win or lose, know that you did so fairly and were competing with the same level of clothing, photos, experience and H/M and had a fair chance. It just makes it so much more enjoyable! We are now happily looking forward to State competitions and my daughter is LOVING pageants.
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