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Date Posted: 09:46:28 09/18/04 Sat
Author: Ed
Subject: Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents - a Father's story in Virginia/Maryland
In reply to: Cherl , South Carolina 's message, "Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents" on 18:34:24 09/04/04 Sat

I've been reading these entries and replies herein while in search of answers for paternal Fathers like me who are non-custodial parents, and finding few, except the proverbial: "...legal system is flawed...," etc.

I too am a victim of a legal bias against non-custodial parents, myself a Father now excluded from any physical contact with my 14 year-old son's life by a attorney Ex-wife. She knows I can only contest her failure to provide consent ordered physical visitation and phone access in a contempt suit I can't afford to initiate, and I pay my MD child support electronically without fail on a monthly basis since 1998 Divorce.

Even the Montgomery County court appointed attorney claimed in a letter she is powerless to help me obtain visitation since there is no active motion in court on denied visitation...the courts presume that legally once child support is paid, non-custodial parents will receive legally entitled visitation automatically, and there are no County or state court mechanisms to help enforce the rights of non-custodial parents.

I too was forced in court to give up joint custody in 1998 owing to my imminent overseas deployment into combat while on active duty with the armed forces, and now am feeling the loss of fathering my son years later in a lop-sided legal situation I'm powerless to change. It's a shame congress, state and local governments don't accord more tax dollars to solving the broken home problems and single-parent decay of children resulting from inability of non-custodial parents, regardless of sex, to have a meaningful role in their childrens' lives, just because of vindictive sole-guardian parents bias and inaction in the civil courts.

I feel for all those sentiments expressed herein, regardless of the gender of the non-custodial parent as I'm one too. The social and legal system in these regards does need repair and revision.

Ed M Sept 2004
Virginia

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[> [> [> [> Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents - a Father's story in Virginia/Maryland -- Peter Ashlock (Perpetual irritation), 19:28:02 04/09/12 Mon

I'm with you. My case is over 25 years old, the kids are grown and I still am being stigmatized and harassed by the DSHS Child Support people in Washington State where my ex kidnapped my children to and they protected her, telling her only to "not do it again" when I complained.
You are right, non custodial parents are assumed to be villains and treated like criminals. They of course deny that they do that, but the preponderance of experience is with people like us who did not choose the situation and if we had the money to contest the situation they would petition for an increase in payments and demand to know where the money came from. They act like pit bulls with their teeth around your neck.
I'd like to start a national petition to pressure the various state governments to change the archaic and mean spirited pseudo laws that criminalize without charging.

>I've been reading these entries and replies herein
>while in search of answers for paternal Fathers like
>me who are non-custodial parents, and finding few,
>except the proverbial: "...legal system is flawed...,"
>etc.
>
>I too am a victim of a legal bias against
>non-custodial parents, myself a Father now excluded
>from any physical contact with my 14 year-old son's
>life by a attorney Ex-wife. She knows I can only
>contest her failure to provide consent ordered
>physical visitation and phone access in a contempt
>suit I can't afford to initiate, and I pay my MD child
>support electronically without fail on a monthly basis
>since 1998 Divorce.
>
>Even the Montgomery County court appointed attorney
>claimed in a letter she is powerless to help me obtain
>visitation since there is no active motion in court on
>denied visitation...the courts presume that legally
>once child support is paid, non-custodial parents will
>receive legally entitled visitation automatically, and
>there are no County or state court mechanisms to help
>enforce the rights of non-custodial parents.
>
>I too was forced in court to give up joint custody in
>1998 owing to my imminent overseas deployment into
>combat while on active duty with the armed forces, and
>now am feeling the loss of fathering my son years
>later in a lop-sided legal situation I'm powerless to
>change. It's a shame congress, state and local
>governments don't accord more tax dollars to solving
>the broken home problems and single-parent decay of
>children resulting from inability of non-custodial
>parents, regardless of sex, to have a meaningful role
>in their childrens' lives, just because of vindictive
>sole-guardian parents bias and inaction in the civil
>courts.
>
>I feel for all those sentiments expressed herein,
>regardless of the gender of the non-custodial parent
>as I'm one too. The social and legal system in these
>regards does need repair and revision.
>
>Ed M Sept 2004
>Virginia

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