Subject:  Re: Baby I Apologize ::tha storee:: |
Author:
Clara
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Date Posted: 19:22:33 10/27/02 Sun
In reply to:
Clara
's message, "Baby I Apologize ::tha poem::" on 16:31:52 10/09/02 Wed
Baby I Apologize
You know how people are always talking about having a good man? Well that ish can be bogus, especially when you don't think you have a good man, but in reality he is if you just let him be a good man. Well this is my storee about how I almost lost my man and found out he was a good man.
My man's name is De'mario. It took us forever to hook up because De'Mario used to be a true playa to the game. But I'm proud to say I changed him with a lil TLC, you know it takes a good woman like to get a man like De'Mario to settle down. But the only problem is; I never really trusted my baby. Yeah I loved him, I didn't always question him about his where abouts but I guess it hurt him when I did. I tried to trust him, but the way girls looked at him when we were out made me jealous. My jealousy almost broke us up forever. We were out one day at an amusement park around my way called Boomers, me and my baby were just chilling trying to have some fun.
"Ayesha you wanna get on the rollercoaster?" he asked me, oh by the way, if ya don't know by now, I'm Ayesha.
"Hell naw, that thang is made of wood, I ain't got a death wish." I told him.
"Come on, it'll be fun." he said trying to get me to get on the wooden deathtrap called the Dania Hurricane, a roller coaster made out of wood.
"Aiight ...I guess so, but if I die imma kill you."
He laughed and we walked over to the Rollercoaster. When we got there we stood in line and this girl in the line next to us was staring De'Mario down.
Now I wasn't the insecure type, shoot, what did I have to be insecure about? I had a pretty caramel complexion, natural green eyes, long dark brown hair that reached the middle of my back, and it was all mine, a pretty smile and the body and whip to go with it.
But when it came to De'mario I was possesive and didn't want any other girl to even think about getting with him.
I turned my attention to the rollercoaster but when I turned back around the girl was smiling at De'Mario and he was smiling back, but when she saw me turn around she started talking to the girl next to her like she wasn't just checkin out my man.
"Who is that?" I asked with a little bit of an attitude.
"I don't know," he said matter of factly, "she looks familar though."
I didn't want to over react so I just let that one slide.
We rode the Hurricane and I had to admit it was fun. But I had to go to the snack machine right quick to reload on Sprite and M&M's. But my azz drunk too much Sprite so we had to make a quick restroom stop, De'mario waited by the restroom for me.
When I walked out I saw De'Mario putting his phone away and the girl from the rollercoaster smiling at him and walking away. What the hell was going on?
"Excuse me De'Mario ...but what did she want?" I asked attitude written all over my body.
"Nuthin, she think she knows me from somewhere." he said like it was nothing.
"That hoe looks like she wants to get to know you in her bed." I said about ready to cuss his azz out.
"No it's not like that, really it's not ...she's having a get together this weekend and wanted to know if we wanted to come ...she thinks we have a mutual friend that's all." he said trying to explain everything.
"Naw fuk that stupid excuse ...boy that don't even make sense!" I said nearly screaming.
"What doesn't make sense?" He asked getting mad himself.
"Why the hell she so worried about seeing if yall got a damn "mutual friend" what the hell does she need to get to know you so bad for?" I asked creating a scene.
"Ayesha baby you're creating a scene." he said trying to calm down. "Let's go home and discuss this."
I almost slapped the sh*t out of him I was so mad, but I did see a crowd forming so I just shoved pass him and made way for the parking lot. We rode in silence the entire way home, but as soon as we set foot in the house I let him have it.
"So who was the lil hoe?" I asked.
"Ayesha, I do not know the girl." he tried to explain.
"How the hell am I supposed to know that? The way yall were all cheezing in each other's face." I yelled at him.
"Girl you're over reacting." he said trying to dismiss the whole thing.
"No!" I yelled. "So are you gonna call her?"
"I don't know." he said in a threatening way.
"What the hell do you mean you don't know?" I screamed at him.
"Because I don't!" he screamed back. "I'm tired of this sh*t ...you're always excusing me of sh*t I don't even do, maybe I should just cheat on you!"
"That's if you haven't already!" I screamed back.
"So you sayin you don't trust me?" He asked with anger filling his voice.
"I mean should I? I go in the restroom for two minutes and some lil stank hoe is giving you her number." I said.
"It wasn't even like that."
"How the hell am I supposed to know that De'Mario?" I screamed.
"Because I just told you!" he screamed back.
"And I'm supposed to believe you?"
De'Mario looked at me like he could knock every last tooth out of my mouth. He didn't even say anything, he just went up stairs. I was about to follow him but I know what goes up must come down so he'd be back. When he came back down he had his gym bag.
"Where the hell are you going?" I asked still with an attitude.
"To the gym." he said and walked right passed me out the door.
"Go to your lil trick's house ...I don't care! I never wanna see you again anywayz!" I yelled after him.
He could leave for all I cared, I was tired of his sh*t ...I didn't need him!
You know, my mother always said that the right girl for you is the one that makes you hate her. Well I might as well marry Ayesha five minutes ago because I can't hate anybody anymore than I hate her right now. I know I've done my dirt in the past. But I'm tired of her sh*t. She knows I've changed, well obviously she doesn't, but she's the one that changed me, I don't know how to explain to her that there is no other girl for me. That's the reason she's wearing that 5 karat diamond engagement ring. I mean, I spend every possible moment I can with her, but still it's not enough. She's always accusing me of doing her wrong everytime I'm out of her sight. I'm not gonna go out and cheat on her. But damn! I'm young, like to hang with my crew and have fun. I mean we're not married yet so she should let me get all my good times before we finally do jump the broom. Because once we're married I'm not even gonna think about chillin with my friends and going out as much as I do now. But after that lil altercation at Boomers and back at home, I had to get away. So I headed to the gym, I knew my homeboys would be there, maybe they could give me some feedback on this situation.
"Sup De? what you doin here so early?" Omarion asked when he saw me come in the gym before my usual time that I meet them here.
"Me and Ayesha had a fight." I explained to him.
"What she accuse you of this time?" Jarell asked, I don't think he liked Ayesha that much because he always had something to say about her.
"I don't know ...some girl think she know's Druex from back in the day." I told them.
"Thinks she knows me?" Druex asked, because he had become a homebody ever since he got married.
"Yeah, a short girl, bout 5'1 or 5'2 with brown curly hair and pretty eyes." I described the girl to him.
"What's her name?" Druex asked like the description was helpess.
"Camarya or sumthin like that." I told him hoping i got the name right.
"Oh hell yeah ...I know her crazy azz ...she works at Arista records." Druex said.
"Yeah I remember her ...she said she was supposed to be hookin a niqqa up with a deal." Omarion joked.
We laughed at Omarion's lying azz.
"Anywayz ...she saw me at Boomers and said I looked familar, then she asked me if me and Ayesha wanted to come to a bar be que or sumthin this Saturday, I tried to explain that to Ayesha but she wouldn't believe me." I explained to them.
Jarell sighed shook his head and said, "Told you the chick was crazy."
"Man shut up." I said sort of defending Ayesha.
"So what you gon do?" Omarion asked with concern in his voice.
"I don't know ...I'm too mad at her right now, I know I ain't goin home tonight though, I need sometime to think about this." I told them.
"And you wanna marry her." Jarell said like he couldn't believe it.
"Well yeah, that's why I need some time to think, to make sure this is the right move." I told him.
"I heard dat." Jarell said like that was the best thing I had said all night.
"Well just don't do nuthin stupid." Druex said, speaking from experience and how he almost lost his wife.
"I'm not ...I'm goin over Omarion and Kaylonie's house until I'm ready to go home." I explained to him.
"Thanx for volunteering my house." Omarion said sacasticlly.
"No problem." I joked.
I can't believe his azz didn't come home last night! I mean, this the damn last straw, he's gonna go lay up with some lil hoe while I'm here, home, alone. OH HELL NAW. I called my homegirl Sharina, but her azz wasn't home. I tried to do things to get my mind of De'mario because the more I thought abot him the madder I got. I called Sharina again after five and her husband Druex answered the phone.
"What's the deal son?" Sharina asked answering the phone on the 6th ring.
"What the hell took you so long to answer the phone?" I asked sharing my attitude with her.
"Oh," she giggled, "Me and Druex were ...fixing something right quick."
I laughed at her attempt to try to cover up what she was really doing.
"But what's up? You sound stressed." She pointed out.
"I am! It's De'Mario." I revealed.
"What did he do this time?" She asked.
"Man, tryin to talk to this girl at Boomers right infront of my dang face." I told her.
"What girl? she asked.
"I don't know, some short azz girl with a nappy head." I said.
"I think you talking about Camarya, she's one of Druex's old friends, he told me De'mario told him he saw her at Boomers, but De'mario doesn't remember her." she revealed to me.
"How the hell do you know the hoe?" I asked feeling left out.
"I don't really know her, and the girl's not a hoe Ayesha, trust me, she doesn't want De'Mario, not when she got Usher on lock." she told me.
"That little azz girl goes with Usher?" I asked not believing her.
"You got sumthin against "little" people now?" Sharina asked half joking.
I forgot she was only 5'2 herself.
"Well you know what I mean." I tried to explain.
"No I don't Ayesha ...what do you mean?" She asked faking being mad.
"I don't have anything against short people, just that short lil hefa." I told her.
"Oh, I thought so, but anywayz, she goes with Usher, they're having a get together this Saturday, me and Druex are supposed to be going, Omarion and Kaylonie and Jarell and Kanisha." she told me.
"So De'mario was telling the truth?" I asked myself more than Sharina.
"Yep." she said.
"Man Sharina how do you do it?" I asked.
"Do what?" She asked.
"Not argue with Druex, and not be so jealous, I mean, he fine as heck and I know hecka hoes be comin on to him." I told her sharing my pain.
"I don't argue with Druex ...because ...shoot I don't know, we don't have anything to argue about and I'd much rather us get along than argue over petty stuff, anywayz ...I know none of these chickens can touch me, but most of all, I trust him, because he can trust me, it's karma, what you do comes back, and since you know I ain't creepin on Druex, I love that boy too much, I know he ain't creepin on me, plus I know he loves me." She explained.
"That's right!" I heard Druex yell in the background.
Sharina laughed and whispered something to him that I couldn't make out.
"So you think I'm tripping over nuthin." I asked.
"Exactly, trust De'Mario, he's not as bad as you think, and I know he loves yo crazy butt." he joked.
"Yeah, I love him too." I said to no one in particular.
"Yeah that's all fine and dandy but I have to go, it's lightening." she said.
I thought for a minute. "Sharina it isn't even raining." I told her.
She laughed. "It is over here." she laughed and hung up.
I felt bad for over reacting on De'Mario, I just needed him to get home so I could apologize and tell him how much I loved him.
It felt good getting away from Ayesha, but to tell you the truth, I missed her more than anything. It was cool chilling with Omarion and Kay, but I needed to get out and think for a minute. So I left my car and rode the trirail around and ended up in West Palm Beach. I did some shopping and thought about what me and Druex talked about the other day before we left the gym. He told me how him and Sharina almost didn't get married. I had to ask him how he managed to find somebody as understanding as Sharina, espcially when her and Ayesha ace coon booms. He told me she wasn't always that way, he had to make her that way. You get it? Don't worry I didn't either. But let me tell you what happened.
-"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"You know how Sharina is, all shy and stuff, she used to get jealous like Ayesha, she didn't go off on me though, but I grew to love everything about Sharina, and I wanted her to love me too, so the first thing I had to do was reassure her of that love, so that she could trust me." he explained.
"And how did you do that?" I asked.
"Well I told her everyhting I did so she could see I had nuthin to hide, that also made us closer, just make her feel like she's the only woman that matters to you." he told me.
"Don't you think if I knew how to do that I wouldn't be in this situation." I told him.
He thought for a minute. "Well you know how you treat a girl before you hit it?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said.
"Well treat her like that all the time, just try to make her happy, communicate and try not to do anything that's gonna make her made." he told me.
"So how did you keep Sharina?" I asked wanting to know how this relationship thing was done.
"Man, it was hard, because I was living wild at the time and Sharina was a good girl, she wasn't into premarital sex or anything, so I got to be her friend first, and then when our relationship got rocky and we were about to break up because of stupid issues-"
"because she wouldn't have sex with you?" I cut him off trying to get to the point.
"exactly, well, this is how I knew she loved me, she agreed to go all the way, but then before we did it, she said this long heart felt speech on why she was doing it and how she had to swallow her pride, and a whole bunch of crap about how much she loved me and about her disobeying God, it was crazy, but I thought to myslelf, if this girl loves me this much, I can't do this to her, and ever since that day, we've been inseperable." he told me.
"Now how do I apply that to me?" I asked trying to get meaning out of what Druex just told me.
"Shoot niqqa ...I ain't no marital concelor, just think about everyhting you love about Ayesha, and decide if it's all worth loosing just because you don't want to put in the extra effort to make sure she's happy, like maybe instead of letting Camarya walk off you should have introduced them, let her know where you're going and who you're gonna be with, that way she will know you have nothing to hide."-
I took everything Durex said to heart. I think it was time to get my baby back. I thought about everything I loved about her, and I decided that just her alone is enough for me to not want her to go. I mean I loved everything about this girl, which is the reason I hated her, because I wanted her so bad, that I didn't want her to do anything to jeprodize me loosing her, but now I see it was me jeprodizing our future together. I had to be open with her and tell her just how I felt instead of trying to get my last few single days out and live them to the fullest. It was time for me to realize that I was living for the both of us now. That her happiness was my happiness, that her joy was my joy. I was ready to dedicate myself to the woman I loved. It's been 3 days and two nights since I've seen her. It's time I went home and told her how much I loved her and how sorry I am, and how much I need her. I rode the trirail back, and caught a Taxi home.
I sat at the window watching the rain that Sharina had predicted. I was just hoping that De'Mario was alright. I loved him so much and I couldn't wait to tell him. I hope tonight is the night he comes home, because I can't stand living without him. If he only knew how much I missed him. I have so much to tell him, I have so much more knowledge on how to make this thing work, and if he just gives me a chance I promise I'll do all I can to make this work. I never knew how much I needed him until he left, now i know I can't live without him. I looked out the window when I heard a car come up. It was a Taxi and De'mario got out. I was relieved to see him again, I tried to push back any negative thoughts about what he did tha past three days, that was in the past, I'm only concerned with our future. When he walked in our eyes met, and I tell you the truth, I've never loved him more than I loved him at that moment. I didn't know if I should talk first because he looked like he had something to say. He came in and shut the door. I was suprised when he talked first. I promise I won't interrupt him, I'll listen to everyword.
"Ayesha, there is something I need to tell you, I found out something these three days being without out that would take most people a lifetime to realize, but before I get into all that, I just wanna say, Baby I Apologize." He said that as tears rolled down my face.
Well that's my storee about the love of my life and how we made it work, sometimes you have to just apologize about the past and move on with the future.
sorry about the mistakes
tell me what u think!
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