The solution to this election thing. -- Safe Haven

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Date Posted: 21:38:07 11/01/00 Wed
Author: Mr. Phule
Subject: The solution to this election thing.

I've decided to go trackin' off to the voting booth tomorrow, thus ending all this laziness. Presidents. Ech.

I think I've found the problem with this whole election thing. We assume that we can only have ONE president. I suppose I can understand why. That way, we can centralize power in one place, namely the government. It's easy that way, but really, when did you last knowingly trust a huge, centralized management and get what you felt was entitled to you?

That's why I'm thinking of marketing my own line of "Pocket Presidents".

Think of those annoying digital pet programs people kept on their key-chains or where ever. Imagine the pet replaced with an AI that is based off of a presidential candidate. That way, you can have whatever president you want sitting in your pocket, telling you what to do. Neat huh?

Works like this. You go into a voting booth, and punch in your selection. We'll have the Bush-in-my-Pocket, Nader-in-my-Pocket, Browne-in-my-Pocket, Buchanan-in-my-Pocket and Gore-in-my-Pocket ready to dispense on the spot. Write-ins, independents and so on can be requested through mail order.

Imagine, instead of fighting over one presidential position, you can be satisfied knowing the president is already in your pocket! When you're faced with a decision, all you have to do is confer with whatever the hell president you have on your key-chain, right next to your picture of Xorkak Bloodguzzler, your pet dog. The conversation would go like this:

"Mr. President, which ISP should I choose for my Internet connection?"

Gore-in-my-Pocket: There is a wide variety of ISPs to choose from, because I took the initiative to invent the Internet.

Bush-in-my-Pocket: Don't be lured into the dark heart of the Internet son! It's full of pedophiles and terrorists!

"Thank you Mr. President, I now know my course in life."

In fact, if distribution is real succesful, we can start the manufacturing of vending machines, so you want HAVE to wait every four years to choose your president! You can have more then one president! They can debate each other! Then, they can start bickering at one another, and they'll veto the other Pocket President's decisions! And YOU'LL BE HAPPY BECAUSE SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO! YAAAAAY!

Vice Presidents sold seperately. Batteries not included.

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Replies:

My solution... -- Drake, 23:06:33 11/01/00 Wed
- Re: My solution... -- Emrys, 19:08:01 11/02/00 Thu
  - What kind of solution is that? Yeesh.... amateurs... (NT) -- Mr. Phule, 22:26:56 11/02/00 Thu