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Date Posted: 21:30:21 06/29/99 Tue
Author: Mr. Phule
Subject: Random thoughts from the mind of Phule...

Well, while I'm sitting here getting ready to not fall asleep tonight, I thought I'd just ramble on about some stuff.

You see, I live near a town called Dublin. Now, Dublin is one of the last, if not the last place in California where it is legal to sell fireworks. So there are lots and lots of fireworks booths set up for the purpose of selling foreworks to any who desire to purchase them. Keeping in mind the fact that they tend to be rather costly, it is in the booth's owners bets interests to make sure nothin' happens to 'em at night.

One of my freinds parents are part of a group called the Lion's Club. I'm not really sure what they do, but they happen to own two fireworks booth's this year, and thier son, my freind is in charge of watching them at night. Of course, he can't watch both at the same time, which is where I, and a few others, come in. Yup yup, from 10 PM until 8 AM I get to sit in my parent's car, in a parking lot watching fireworks. Anyway, I don't work tonight, but I need to get myself acclimated to a nocturnal schedule. Oh the joys.

I also lost my job at the county fair, which is annoying. You see, as Drake and Emrys can confirm, I am not exactly the most forward of people. I prefer to do things my own, and for the most part, that way works. The job at the fair (Survey Taker) required me to go up to strangers and ask them to do stuff they didn't really want to do. So I didn't really get enough surveys filled out for my employers to justify the $8/hour they were paying me. Ahh well, that job wasn't worth $8/hour anyway. And before any of you say anything, know that it required my walking around in 100+ degree heat in the shade for 4 hours carrying a large canvas bag and the utmost need to be polite to complete strangers who's opinion of you is only slightly higher than that of the current temperature, which is to say, not to damn high at all.

What I actually realized is that my life is something of a Catch 22. You see, my primary skills lie in areas that fit best in Administration. Simply put, I'm the guy who makes things happen. Back in High School, as Emrys can tell you, I was often the primary force involved in get-togethers and other excursions, be they to the local dentist office (which was the site of a 6 computer LAN used to play Starcraft, Diablo, Master or Orion 2, NetStorm, Warcraft 2, Red Alert, you name it, odds are we at least tried it.) Or what not. Usually it was me who said "Let's go to the office" or "Let's play AD&D" and if it wasn't me, I was often the one who made the needed phone calls, and/or delegated phone calls.

"Ok, so you're good to go? Great. I'll call Tom, Mark, and Jeff. You contact Jim and tell him we're good to go at 7." etc.

Often times my house was the primary house we "hung out" at. Last summer, for instance, I think Emrys and a few other freinds made it to my house every day for about 2 weeks solid. Heh heh heh.

The clan is also an example. I hope I don't appear to be arrogant when I say that I'm pretty good at running a clan. Please don't consider that arrogance. It is merely my own acknowledgement of my skills. Saying that is no different from Micheal Jordan saying that he's a good basketball player, or from Robin Williams saying he's a good comedian. There is no arrogance in truthfully acknowledging ones own skill.

Anyway, my skills are primarily in making things happen. They do NOT lie in doing them. In other words, I suck at gruntwork. I'm not content to just be a trooper along with the rest, and would prefer to just kinda skip past that part altogether and get up into command. Those of you who know me back from when I joined Safe Haven would note that I climbed the ladder from newbie to Council Member in a little under 3 monthes. Also, it's a pretty safe bet to say that I'll be on the council again when the clan gets re-started. If not on the council, then a housemaster most definately. Possibly Hallmaster, although I don't really want that job. :-)

Anyway, I mentioned a Catch 22. I will refer to the expresion of the "Corporate Ladder" although "Corporate Pyramid" is leaps and bounds more accurate. Anyway, I don't have the skills needed to climb those first few steps. However, if I were able to get to the middle, I'd do fine. But you can't get to the middle without starting at the beginning, but I can't start at the beginning so I can't get to the middle. But if I COULD get to the middle, I'd do fine. You begin to see the trap I find myself in?

As such, while everyone acknowledges that I have above average work ethics, I repeatedly fall short of expectations when it comes to matters of lower end employment. I mean, the brainless stuff I can do, (Like sitting in a car for ten hours) and I have well developed people skills. It's simply that I am a touch too conservative to ask complete strangers to fill out a survey that, frankly, doesn't really gather all that much information. It was really lousily put together. Redundant questions, loaded questions.

For example, the questions asked people how the "Expected" things to be. Well, most of the people who go to county fairs have gone to county fairs for many years. I surveyed a few people who had been going every year for over 60 years. My point is, the question isn't relative. They didn't ask if the "Could the Fair be better" they just asked "Did you get what you expected?"

As such, the results of the survey were largely what they wanted to hear, and not so much what the needed to hear.

Again, here lies an example of what I've been talking about. I can detect the problems inherant in the system, but due to those same problems I am not in a position to fix them. Woohoo! Another Catch 22. The only way I can fix the problems would be if they weren't there to begin with. Yet if they weren't there, I wouldn't need to fix them. But if I don't fix them, the problems remain. However, I can fix the problems, but they prevent me.

Actually it's not that great of a Catch 22, but it's close enough.

Anyway, for the most part, I just got kinda tired of Baldur's Gate at the moment and so I thought I'd delve into myself and do a little self-exploration. Of course, such exploration means nothing unless shared. Well that's not always true, but in this case, it is, and you people are the unwilling suspects of such.

If anything, it will help you all to get to know me a little better, so you will be better able to understand the various actions that I will take in the monthes, perhaps even years, to come. Or this could all just be a plot to overthrow the world. You choose. ;-)

-Chris "Mr. Phule" Lingel
"One should never fear shadows. They only mean that there is a light shining somewhere near."

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