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Date Posted: 02:05:36 06/10/99 Thu
Author: Mr. Phule
Subject: Sorry, but the purple links just had to go...this green is too bright, however....anyway, as a forum admin I feel it is necessary to post a few ground rules....

Okeydokey then. The rules are as follows:

1. Please post.

2. Post intelligent things. If you can't post intelligent things, post anyway. We don't really care.

3. If you have something important to post, meaning it has to do with with the revival of SH, make sure we know it in the subject.

4. Don't steal the spork's from Phule's scientific medical research bay.

5. Treat others with the respect they deserve, and the respect you would like to recieve.

Note: If you don't really want to recieve any respect, you have to pretend like you do. I wont have anyone taking advantage of the possible loop-hole in that rule.

6. Don't take advantage of the possible loop-hole in rule #5

7. Once a day, acknowledge Phule's impending ascention to god-hood. (I graduated from the god-hood academy of arts and sciences. Once my diploma comes in the mail, I'll be an official god!)

8. It's ok to be insane, but be ready to be serious when the time comes.

And, most importantly....

Have fun. If you aren't having fun here, let me know, because that's the point of all this. If it's something we can fix, we'll fix it.

The reason old SH fell apart was because people weren't having fun, but they decided to sit around and sulk instead of speaking up. If you just mention the problem, steps WILL be taken to clear it up. If it just isn't working for you, leave...

On a similar note, real life comes first. I've had people apologize because they had to handle very serious real-life situations. People, if you come to a clan meeting instead of helping a freind, I will personally come to your house, rip out your spine, beat you over the head with it, and then proceed to hang you. In addition, I'll kick you out of the clan.

Real. Life. Comes. First.

This is what you should do for fun and relaxation, but Starcraft, Diablo 2, whatever game is just a game, and if I ever think that you are neglecting your other priorities just 'cause you want to find that item, I will see to it that you are kicked out. I don't expect it to be a problem, but I don't want anyone having trouble in thier personal lives just because they somehow feel obligated to attend a semi-pointless clan meeting.

If the clan is stressing you out, leave. If you think it's too much work being a housemaster, or a council member, step down. If you simply want to play a game, play a game. That's all there is to it, ladies and gentlemen (although I don't think there are any ladies out there....let's not discriminate now!) and I will enforce this rule with every determination, as I hope you will too. But again, I honestly don't expect it to be a problem....

Anyway, since I put forth these rules, I may as well set down a rule punishments at to what may happen if you break these sacred rules.....

1. Strapped to a red-shirted ensign from Star Trek and forced to go buy milk.

2. Forced to serve as the XO on an Imperial Star Destroyer while Darth Vader is in town. (For those of you who might not be aware of what this means, Darth Vader had the interesting habit of throughouly killing nearly the entire command staff whenever they annoyed him. He use a really neat death choke from across a room. It was pretty cool... As the XO, you'd take over, knowing that there's really no chance that you wouldn't be able to not piss off the D-Man, thus meaning you are certain to recieve one of the long-distance choke-grabs.)

3. Peace offering to the mimes.

4. Forced to sit in a room with me (Phule) and listen to him explain his theories behind the meaning of life. (Ask Drake, this one is pure hell.)

5. Brain transplant practice for Phule. (I never wanted to be a brain surgoen, but it looks like it might be fun. Be warned, the only tool I have is a spork.)

6. Peace envoy to Total Annhilation fans. (Careful, most TA fans eat Starcraft player's heads for breakfast...that is, when they're forces manage to take down the mighty Starcraft defences, which is extremely rare, but it does happen...)

7. Staked down for Phule's ammusement with a cattle-prod.

8. Three words "Forged Diablo flame"

9. Framed for stealing Phule's brain surgeon spork.

10. Serves coffee to Phule and forced to see its effects.

11. Standing in the blast path when someone shouts BETA-SIGN-UP

12. Alone in a room without a computer, TV, stereo, or any other entertainment device.

13. Dressed in a squirrel costume.

14. The 100% sure fire, never fails, Dark Templar detector. Live bait.

15. And last but not least . Forced to walk through a college dorm holding a can of Instant decaf. (Someone did this on a dare once last year...it wasn't pretty. Still, he did better off than the guy who played the Titanic song. He was stripped naked and dragged through a girls floor on a leash. And the guy who thought it'd be funny to pull the fire alarm at 4:30 AM on a Thursday, well ok, I suppose it was a Friday by then, ended up naked and tied to the door of a girls shower room. He was there almost 12 hours before he got out. Nobody felt nice enough to let him go. Aint college life great? Did I mention that it was about 20 degrees that night (Fahrenheit) and that we all had to stand outside for about 90 minutes? I personally, was not able to locate my shoes in time and nearly got frost bite...it wasn't quite the prank he intended...)

Anyway...these were all jokes...except the part about the fire drill and the coffee and the Titanic song...those things all really happened. No, I'm not lying....they really did.

In reality, I probably wont do a thing if you break any of the rules, I'm sure you can all tell for yourselves which ones are real and which ones aren't. Again, I really don't expect it to be a problem at all, but I learned a long time ago that you really can't afford to take chances with these things, so I went ahead and said it, and I meant it.

If SH becomes item #1 on your life, I will kill you, then kill myself so I can hunt you down in the afterlife. Then I'll resurrect myself (yes, I can do that. Aren't you jealous) and go on living. And you'll be effectively out of the clan, regardless of how important to the function of the clan you are. That includes myself, by the way.

Damn...who'd've thought I could be so deep at 2 AM? heh heh heh...cooooool.

-Chris "Mr. Phule" Lingel
"Never fear shadows, for they only mean that somewhere near, there is a light burning brightly."

P.S. When I do the "formal" signature with a serious quote, as exampled above, it means that I'm being dead-on serious. Simply something you might want to note and store for future referance. :-)

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