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Date Posted: 21:51:37 09/04/04 Sat
Author: vit
Subject: 意識流書信

Dear A.....

今天, 整個天空白茫茫, 蘊釀的雪, 落不下.

胸口一直隱隱作痛. 這幾日, 總要想起您.
多年來, 我都希望, 胸口的痛, 是由思念您而起.

如果這是實情, 想起你的心痛, 會比較實在, 還可以觸摸…這心痛的來源. 而且, 更加有一個浪漫的理由, 去擁抱這個心痛, 醉生夢死, 浪跡天涯.

好多好多年前, 有天放學, 樓下的小店聚集了三幾個大人, 聽到他們在說: 汪..
好奇之下, 站在旁邊聽. 為什麼他們說的, 跟哥哥說的不一樣? 跟看的書也不一樣呢!
我多口問他們: 汪..不是漢奸嗎?
我來不及走, 他們也沒有答. 一個人捉住我, 另一個打了我胸口幾拳.
那幾拳的痛, 是很痛的. 痛了多個星期.

您知道嗎? 那時我才不過十二歲. 比起多年前, 我要下定決心不想您, 不哀求你見我, 那個時候, 迷茫的痛才真是心痛.

(a..... 請您不要傷心, 如果您要為此事流淚, 您不如要為不愛我而慶幸.)

(折( )行者: 這是不是一個殘酷而又美麗的世界.)

跟其他事一樣, 自己的事自己解決. 我沒有告訴哥哥. 不想見到他們被人拳打腳踢.
他們都手下留情, 沒有用腳.

之後, 去練拳. 師兄教我: 打架要夠狼. 說話咬牙切齒.
他捲起衣袖, 手臂幾條疤痕. 三個持利器的都給他打走.

一直到了那天, 我爽了約, 不見您. 我的心就有一條長長的疤痕, 見證了我對您, 始終狠了心.
世事真的出乎意料, 學識了狼, 原來拿來對付自己, 再用來對付您.

您可有想過: 您穿整套深藍黑, 窄腰下開小叉的晚裝, 走到我面前的那天, 我們日後的結局, 就是如此分手嗎?
您要我想?
我想不出, 也不願意想下去.

我只知道, 以後, 耳邊, 永遠, 沒有吱吱喳喳的歌聲.
也不會有人, 要為了一個圓月的圓形, 要我說了半晚的好話.
也沒有人, 深夜三時, 問我是不是已經不再愛她了.

我的所謂愛您, 原來比紙還薄.

幾個星期前, 給您寫了封信, 猶豫思量了大半晚.
挨到星星都亮了滿天. 胸口很悶. 外面三度.

驅車上山的路冷清清. 612電台的歌聲. 窗外嘶嘶的風聲.

這刻, 您應該正在舞池, 華爾滋
or Rumba.....
我 27 步的華爾滋還可以吧?

Sometimes the snow comes down in June...

那個時候您會與我再共舞?
那個雨夜您還會來共傘下?

What's love, baby don't hurt me..don't hurt me...no more..

信可以寄到哪裡去呢? 上山的路在哪裡?
天一亮星星就不見了...

All the words I wanna say, I can say for someone else...

橋上…最好飛車而過……也是把信飛出去的好地方.

Is it a beautiful good-bye?

..............................................

remark:

A friendly tip for those who would like to decipher.

A.....as all letters are WFFs,

while .....should be considered as ~ ~ ~ ~ ~(A&V)

..........................................................

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