| Subject: M (female)s letter to Jealous Wives |
Author:
Pete
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Date Posted: 03:27:54 09/03/02 Tue
Hi all,
At first I thought I was going to agree with you about ‘parading this on the internet’ but then I realised how the site is actually kind of opening doors of communication regards jealousy and possibly other relationships difficulties. I disagree that any two people should do as each other 24/7. I think to expect males and females to not communicate is again to much to ask. I do agree that chatting online is responsible for breaking up strong relationships however in my experience I think physical contact with the opposite sex meeting in pubs and clubs, something which has always happened, is still more likely to cause problems than online chatting.
My wife regularly visited a local pub, weekly with her girlfriends. She over time made many friends and soon found herself part of a circle, a small community. I was quite happy for her to go out, pubs and clubs was never my thing really, and she was a far more ‘sparky’ character than me. She did faulter, she did have an affair with a man who also went to this pub on a regular basis. To be honest, I think I would have preferred her to have had online chats, and belong to an online community. Maybe then she might have found the attention, the attraction, or just the fun without being tempted by the real physical element. In the pub actually with people you see how they move, talk, look, smile, react, and then there is the alcohol element, getting a bit tipsy and getting carried away. I am sure if I had been given a choice, I would have felt happier with her being online chatting. Why either? Well I do believe that however much life we give to a person, they have a right to their own life also. Some would say I was wrong to trust my wife, but had I not, then I would have had years of tormenting myself. I was happier trusting her, and when she broke that trust I dealt with it. I am still not a jealous person. I am now in a new relationship and I trust my partner in the same way as I trusted my wife. If she does the dirty on me like my wife did, then she will, but I see no point in distressing myself fearing something which might never happen.
The Jealous Wives story in my opinion shows how jealousy is destructive. It’s pretty obvious that a purely platonic relationship existed between her and her male friend. And lets face it, not every male and female are attracted to each other platonic relationships do exist and can be very productive and worthwhile.
Pete
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