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Date Posted: 17:05:58 02/04/07 Sun
Author: Ethel S. McKinney
Subject: Punishment or Behavior Modification

Several years ago I attended a class called Effective Black parenting. It dealt with alternatives to spanking your children. Culturally African Americans spank and physically punish their children in order to modify deviant behaviors more than other American cultural groups. The class taught us as parents that we have to be more responsible for setting the ground rules first. All consequences for specific actions are to be laid down and discussed thoroughly with your children in language and boundaries that are age and developmentally appropriate. In other words if a 2yr. old steps off the sidewalk on a busy parking lot don't chastise or punish them; Hold Their Hand! He/she is still a baby. Discuss with them as you walk together,holding each other, the reasons for staying close on the parking lot. The child is not stressed and neither is the parent. Eventually the child will stay with you because the rule says stay together, not because mom will yell and hit. The class taught that parameters such as punishment II, with the taking away a goodie, is easier on everyone. Small children respond to knowing that if they don't stop kicking and screaming they will lose their ice cream dessert and their favorite cartoon. And also, that if you want to remove as many of the deviant behaviors as possible, you must set the rules first. They must also be constantly REPEATED. Children continually forget important things so if the child can read, post the rules where they can be seen. This method also helps avoid the Avoidance response. The child learns what is expected and has foreknowledge of consequences. If at this point deviant behaviors occur, parents must follow through with the consequences and help the child learn consistency.

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Replies:

[> Re: Punishment or Behavior Modification -- Rachel Landau, 20:39:23 02/06/07 Tue

It was interesting reading about this parenting class, it sounds like a good message| I sometimes think all parents should have to go to a parenting class before having children..although I'm sure that could cause other problems. Anyhow, I agree that parents should have developmentally appropriate expectations and effective consequences (punishment II) for when they are not met. I also think its very important to consider the reinforcement aspect as well. In Ethel's example the child loses desert if he doesn't stop kicking and screaming. But you can also tell him that if he sits quiet and still then he can have ice cream for dessert. Then as he eats his ice cream you can tell him that after he puts his bowl in the sink, he can watch his favorite cartoon. In this example, the parent is instructing the child on what behavior he/she wants the child to perform, rather than not perform, and then rewarding the compliance as soon as possible. The closer the reward is to the desired behavior, the more effective it is, especially at young ages. However, more time can elapse as children approach adolescence and reasoning and abstract skills develop. I also think discipline becomes more complex in adolescence and of course, punishment is sometimes appropriate, and even more effective.


>Several years ago I attended a class called Effective
>Black parenting. It dealt with alternatives to
>spanking your children. Culturally African Americans
>spank and physically punish their children in order to
>modify deviant behaviors more than other American
>cultural groups. The class taught us as parents that
>we have to be more responsible for setting the ground
>rules first. All consequences for specific actions
>are to be laid down and discussed thoroughly with your
>children in language and boundaries that are age and
>developmentally appropriate. In other words if a 2yr.
>old steps off the sidewalk on a busy parking lot don't
>chastise or punish them; Hold Their Hand! He/she is
>still a baby. Discuss with them as you walk
>together,holding each other, the reasons for staying
>close on the parking lot. The child is not stressed
>and neither is the parent. Eventually the child will
>stay with you because the rule says stay together, not
>because mom will yell and hit. The class taught that
>parameters such as punishment II, with the taking away
>a goodie, is easier on everyone. Small children
>respond to knowing that if they don't stop kicking and
>screaming they will lose their ice cream dessert and
>their favorite cartoon. And also, that if you want to
>remove as many of the deviant behaviors as possible,
>you must set the rules first. They must also be
>constantly REPEATED. Children continually forget
>important things so if the child can read, post the
>rules where they can be seen. This method also helps
>avoid the Avoidance response. The child learns what is
>expected and has foreknowledge of consequences. If at
>this point deviant behaviors occur, parents must
>follow through with the consequences and help the
>child learn consistency.


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