Top Five Things to Smash with Gallagher's Giant Hammer -- Darian's Friends

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Subject: Top Five Things to Smash with Gallagher's Giant Hammer

Author:
MikeyMike

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Date Posted: 07:44:47 04/30/05 Sat

Ooohh this is going to be fun...

5. Cardinal Bernard Law's nutsack. Like the Wu-Tang Clan say, "Just lay your nuts on the fuckin' dresser, just your nuts on the fuckin' dresser, and bang them shits with a spiked fuckin' bat." Or, in this case, Gallagher's giant hammer.

4. Every copy of John Tesh's recordings on tape, CD, and vinyl. Oh, and John Tesh himself.

3. Pam Anderson's tits. One at a time. And I'd set up a target 20 feet away to see if I could hit it with a blast of titty-saline.

2. A white baby seal. We here in Canada have an annual seal hunt to control the population of several species of seal. Get over it. I'd slam the hammer's giant head right the fuck into the cute little baby seal's skull, killing it instantly...then I'd skin it and make a hat, all the while giving the finger to the PETA protesters watching from afar.

1. Ashton Kutcher's red kabbalah string. With his wrist still through it. Ideally it would sever at least one artery and shoot blood into the morning sky.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Top Five Things to Smash with Gallagher's Giant Hammer	Koko	06:52:22 05/02/05 Mon
Re: Top Five Things to Smash with Gallagher's Giant Hammer -- D, 08:03:45 05/02/05 Mon I do okay -- Phil, 09:29:21 05/02/05 Mon Re: I do okay -- Koko, 10:30:38 05/02/05 Mon It is -- Phil, 11:00:51 05/02/05 Mon You're not wrong -- Diva D!, 15:34:24 05/02/05 Mon Re: You're not wrong -- Rusty, 18:03:31 05/02/05 Mon We're all googling -- Dougie, 18:35:36 05/02/05 Mon Please, enlighten me! -- DD, 19:35:41 05/02/05 Mon