Amusing Stories -- Speak Up...I Can't Hear You!

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Subject: Amusing Stories

Author:
murrsmit

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Date Posted: 19:19:15 10/25/07 Thu

From British Newspapers

1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey
about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas
said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year.
It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas
used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(The Daily Telegraph)

2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting
had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she
said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)

3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a
stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's
a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public
to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of
inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable
lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of
thing is all too common". (The Times)

5) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed
the coastguard and asked them to estimate the wind speed.
They replied they were sorry, but they didn't have a
gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just
blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening
Express)

6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted
the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner
of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was
repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always
seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came
up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt
out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)

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